I AM STRUGGLING H.E.L.P.

Hi Sherri - sorry you're struggling! You have to know that you're not alone - we are all food addicts and controlling our eating habits is a lifetime quest. I read somewhere that it takes 3 months to break a habit - well, it's been over a year and my old bad eating habits are still there, and I have to be constantly vigilant. There are times that I am very strong and on the right track with my low carb, high protein diet and exercising every day, but I can also go for weeks struggling and eating chips and other things that are just so bad for me, Two weeks agao I was where you are. I was eating cookies (sugar free, but it doesn't matter much when you eat the whole package in a day) not exercising and my mind was in a very stressful place. Sometimes I get such cravings that I just don't know how to not give in. I can go all day without eating, but the minute I eat something, anything, I start a process that is hard to stop. I gained 6 lbs.and it scared me to death. I've been struggling to get down to 150, but for months I've been stuck in the mid to low 160's. When I was eating badly I got up to 167. I'm 162 this morning. I realized that I was the only one who could change things. In order to break the carb cravings, I decided to go one day with Carb Countdown shakes and protein powder - liquids only. One day was all it took - I lost the cravings for carbs when I stopped eating them, now I crave a nice healthy salad with some turkey or chicken. For a treat I have CC vanilla yogurt with some walnuts and a couple of grapes cut up in it. Thank God I'm back on track and I've lost 5 lbs, At the moment I am strong - I do the Walk Away the Pounds 2 mile tape 2-3 times a day and I jog it instead of walk. I try to keep focused and when I have to go food shopping and that fat girl inside of me is telling me it's ok to just get one package of cookies, I say no and vow to myself that I'm only getting what's on the list. I feel good about myself again, and you will too as soon as you get yourself recommitted. You can do it Sherri, and we're all here to help. Email me if you need a partner to help. Take it one day at a time and realize that by eating healthy foods and exercising you are being good to yourself. I've been thinking of going to a therapist for help with my compulsion to eat. It certainly couldn't hurt - hey, I'll take all the help I can get!! Hang in there Sherri, and in the words of Stacy (Boney) "Nothing changes if nothing changes". That has become my mantra. Here's a BIG supportive hug and a , Nancy -115

Hello nancy , Well i thank you so much for all of your advice and support . Alot of these things i know it is just so hard to follow . I thought i was over this i guess we never are . I havent really struggled like this since surgery . so i thought this feeling was gone boy was i wrong ... I so agree w/ the carbs . i never have counted anything and that was a bad choice on my part . But Carbs definitly make me eat all day . i tested your theory today . i have done good boy this morning i didnt even think i would be able to eat . finally i was able to around 11 am . just a lil something . i stuck w/ protein today .. and small portions . .I am glad you are doing great . you always have been such an inspiration to me on here as many of you have . But you always seem to offer really good advice . And i thank you for that .. Shopping food shopping is all i want to do here latley that is the old me . I lived for that before . I am gonna do the list thing i think see i am also a bipolar and compulsive person . shopping is hard for me no matter what it is . My meds do help me w/ this but not here latlley and food once again has been my item of choice . Before when i was losing and over the summer clothing was my item . i loved it now i look at me and i dont even want to try clothes on . My friends tell me i am crazy i am thin . and yes i am thin compared to a yr ago . But not compared to a month ago . I sworw i would never say fat again , but all i say here latley is oh i am to fat for that or i donr=t deserve that .My hubby took me out to buy some shoes today i love shoes , but didnt feel worthy of a purchase . imagine that my psyc. would love to hear that one .. I am disappointed in myself , but i am also the only one in control here . I see that but thanks to you all i was forced to say it out loud to myself . So hopefully the terrible thoughts go away and i can jump on and pick back up Thank you so much one again you are simply amasing .. love ya girl thanks sherri

Hey Sherri, I know what you're going through...some days all I want is to drink water and other days I just want to eat...I feel hungrier now than when I weighed 338...and I make not the best of choices. The other night I did something really stupid (drank a strawberry milk to settle my stomach) and DUMPED like I've NEVER dumped before...I thought I was going to die! Seriously, I almost called 911...so that helped me a bit. Luckily, I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either, and I still have 30 pounds to go. Hang in there--I wish I had some better advice for you, but all I can say is one day at a time, and remember-you've come too far and been through too much to allow yourself to backslide...ok? Lots of love and support, Jeff

Hey Jeff , I tottally agree i am more hungry now than i have ever been . even though at times my pouch makes me stop . I still here latley have ben freaking myself out w/ how much i can eat .and still want more . OHHHHH i have had an experience like that early on when i was first able to eat cream of wheat . man i thought i was dying i had never hurt so bad in all my life .. I want to say i still do good w/ sugars but i cheat there to never to the point of that though . see i have figured out how and when to have them and it not affect me at all and have as much as i want stupid huh !!!!! But lucky for me i only crave like that on my monthly visit sorry .. But I to got so agrivated and wasnt losing i have been at 158-163 for 1/2 a year .. and some days i would starve . noty literally but compared to what i ate before surgery .. And i have said that in my head over and over shame on me for that one .. if we are told anything over and over again . I knew evewntually i would have to be tempted . I have been to so much mind classes and thinking patterns i knew this but the old sherri took over .. Any way i thank you for all you support and advice .. I often wonder about you .. and think of you often . I pray you are still on your way to recovery . i loved your one day at a time , that brought a smile to my face to read you sayin g that .. I tell you what i am not a big reader at all but i have started an amasing book ... you read only 3-4 pages a day it is called the PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE .. it helped me alot and i let the devil take me over the last few weeks and put my book aside and turned to food .. iTs a gret book and although it doesnt focus on food it is a great way to help you through anything you face and has wonderful ways to make you look and learn .. just wanted to share w/ you and all of you .. thanks jeffie , keep your head high and keep in touch ...

Sherrie I don't know if misery loves company or what but I can totally relate to the carb issues, and it is nice to know that we are not alone with our struggles. I guess we have to continue to remember that the surgery was just a tool and not a magic answer, and that they operated on our innards not our brains! Hang in there- you are not alone. Marcy

Jefff, I had a dumping experience like that! Sweat was dripping onto the floor and my intestines seized up with the worst cramps ever (although nothing was coming out). I, too, almost called 911. I thought for sure I was dying!