Checking in

Hi Gang, I've been lurking because I have been a little depressed. I came back from vacation and it appeared (according to my scales) I had gained a lot of weight, even though I was wearing a smaller size. Then our scales bit the dust so I thought maybe they had been weighing wrong. Got new scales and discovered the old ones had been wrong--weighing light. No matter what I have been doing for the past month, I can't seem to lose weight. Saw my surgeon yesterday for my year post-op visit. The new scales agree with his. My iron is a little low so I am to increase my iron intake to 2 a day ( just waiting for the constipation). I am doing well, except for having lost 160 lbs., it is only 142. I still have 97 to go to my personal goal. I need help. I am even thinking I need to go to the local support group. I am just real discouraged about ever being below 200 lbs. I am happy I have lost as much as I have, but I really do want to at least get below 200. Sorry to be such a downer, but I am feeling very blue. Maybe I need to go back on my Prozac. Thanks for listneing. Monna

Dear Monna: I'm new to the site, but your letter really struck a chord with me. I, too am wearing a smaller size but not losing any more weight. And I, too am happy about losing what I have, but I want more for myself. I have begun counting calories (again . . .). I have exercised religiously since my surgery last year, and hoped the calorie counting wouldn't be necessary. I know that we can do it. But it sure does help that there are other people in the same boat I am. It seems like everyone I see locally who has had WLS is losing mega pounds - they're all size 8's. I really feel like a failure sometimes. I did start taking my effexor again, and it has helped me remain on a more even keel. Take heart. 142 pounds is amazing. (I've only lost 97 myself). Just keep doing what you're doing and hang in there. Reading your letter has helped me. I don't feel quite so alone with my frustrations. Thank you. Debbie

Oh yes! I can relate! Although I have made it below 200, it's certainly not by much - 4-6 lbs., depending on the day and what the scale feels like telling me that day! I can certainly agree that it's been a very frustrating journey at times. Other times, it's absolutely WONDERFUL. All in all I am thrilled beyond description with the progress compared to how I felt a year ago. Yesterday after dropping my son off for band camp, I went over to a friends house for coffee. As I sat in her outdoor furniture I realized that a year ago I could BARELY stuff myself into those chairs, and the armrests came only 1/2 way up my thighs. Now my thighs don't go above the armrests and there is room to spare in the seat. I was so amazed at a visual of just how far I've come in a year. I will be starting a job next week (first in 15 years for me) and had to go clothes shopping that afternoon. Like you, I had my depressing moment. I came to the realization that I haven't changed pants sizes since February or March! I am STILL in a size 16!!! Talk about a bummer! That means that for the last 6 months I've been twiddling my thumbs. Although I know it's not true exactly, since in Feb. I was wearing stretch jeans and believe me they were STRETCHED- it just FEELS like I'm getting nowhere! I am so down about having to buy size 16 clothes. I keep telling myself how I changed and how loose my clothes are compared to how tight they were - it's just still playing over and over that it's a size 16!!! Will I EVER get those last 50 lbs off? Sure doesn't feel like it to me right now. It's no wonder that I'm still in a 16 - I've lost LESS than 10lbs since May 27th! For now, I'm going to keep trying to remember JUST HOW MUCH EVERYTHING hurt a year ago, and try to forget the size of the clothing, how much I weigh, how little I've lost in the last 3 months and how much I still want to lose! Otherwise, I'll be joining you in the quest for the antidepressants. Hang in there Monna, things will change. It won't be at the rate WE want, but they will continue to change. irene

Monna Here's your pep talk... It is so awesome that you are getting smaller--no worries that your weight is not moving--you are gaining MUSCLE!! How terriffic is that?? Don't worry about the number of pounds on the scale. Think about how great you feel and how far you've come. So you've hit a little stall....evaluate what you are eating/not eating, increase your water if you need to (may help with that added iron to get things moving), and change your exercise plan to stimulate new muscles. You know the answers, now JUST DO IT (like the shoe commercial says). You know the hardest part it taking that first step. I have lost and gained the same 5 pounds since January 15th. I am somewhere between 205 and 210, and I have come to the conclusion that the only way I'm getting under 200 is to have it cut off of me! But I'm Ok with that--I do have extra skin that needs to go. Maybe I can sell it to some sick-o on ebay to help fund my surgery?? *wink* Now that you're smiling, stop being so hard on yourself. So you gained a little bit on vacation---who doesn't??? This, my dear, is NORMAL. Just like it's normal to go back to work after vacation, you, too must go "back to work". Go for a walk, log your food, whatever it takes. Remember my friend, no one said this would be easy. We're behind you, Monna. You've inspired so many of us here. Keep up the good work. Deeno

HI Monna, Hang in there July Sister.. I think alot of us July babies are having a one year shake up.. I find that I am SO much hungrier and my pouch seems to hold so much more last week or so .. Im wondering if I opened some stitches into my old stomach? FOr example yesterday I did ok for breakfst and lunch but by dinner time I was starving .. SO i had 7 larger shrimps.. I was still hungry.. so I had 4 crackers with Cheeze 90 minits later I was starving again and ate a WHOLE bowl of cerial. Ihave never eaten a whole bowl before Im afraid to get on the scale And on top of that I m having trouble sleeping I sleep for like 2 hrs then I am awake for a while then 2 more hrs etc. someone said sounds like im goin thru Menopause?> I just dont know. But Lets Hang in there together Monna. support group sounds like a good Idea.. and dont forget the support y ou get from your July sisters and brothers on here HUGGGGGGS Dawn

That 199 lb mark sure is elusive, isn't it? I still have 42 pounds to go before I will see the ONEDERFULS. It sucks. I just want you to know that you are not alone. There are a lot of us out there who are stuggling. Physical hunger, head hunger, lack of motivation to exercise...it's all getting really hard to deal with. Even worse is the amount of guilt each time we make the wrong choice. My goal, and yours should be, too, is to take it one day at a time. Each day that I am not filled with guilt is a day that I have won. And the more often I win, the better I feel, even when the scale doesn't have much to say about it. Pamela 352/241/150