Food Addiction

I was reading a magazine at the pool today (gotta love that sun!), and it had an interesting article about food addiction. At the end of the article, they asked a series of food-related questions. As it turns out, I'm a food addict (duh!). The medical term for this, as many of you already know, is Binge-Eating Disorder. Basically, it's the same disease as a person who binges and then throws up, starves themselves for weeks, or exercises excessively...except that they do nothing to battle the calories and gain weight. So I guess that's what I have...binge-eating disorder. My surgery has been a great tool as far as limiting the quantity and types of foods I can eat. But those other problems are still there...the fear that the food won't be there unless I eat it all (I can't resist leftovers in the fridge) and food always being on my mind. And of course, lately those issues have taken over my rational mind, and I'll "binge" for two or three days at a time before pulling myself together. For obvious reasons, my binges are nothing like what I could do pre-op...but the damage is still being done. I wonder how you get over being a food addict. In the article, the girl they were talking about was given a prepackaged meal plan. I'm not sure how THAT's going to cure her mind! I'm not even sure how a therapist could help with something like this...after all, my rational mind knows exactly what's going on. I KNOW the food will still be there, and even if it's not, I can always make more. I even know that these issues come from my childhood, when my mother, always on some diet or another, made food a taboo and it WASN'T always there. Shouldn't I be able to handle this? What would a shrink say or do that I don't already know? For the first six months, I had very few issues. Now, everything is really taking control of me. I've been lucky...even though I screw up and it takes me a couple of days to get back on track, I've been able to lose 5lbs a month. If only I could be in control 100% of the time and never fall off the path. And I KNOW I have ultimate control...but those issues just keep making it hard for me. If only I could be put into an environment that would make it virtually impossible to make a mistake or be tempted to cheat. Lately, all those food issues just seem to be crashing down on my head. Maybe it's because I'm nearly a year out. I don't know, but it's making me nuts. I really would like to lose my last 100lbs...and that's an awful lot of pressure for someone who started out as a slow loser despite doing everything right. Okay, I have REALLY gone on long enough. Just trying to be my own therapist, I guess. Have a great day! Pamela -102 and stuck

Hi Pamela, Great topic! I don't have any answers about turning off your mind or changing your thinking. The most successful people that I've seen with this surgery seem to focus on teaching themselves to just get back on the horse and ride again (by going back to the basics of the surgery - protein, water, exercise) - no matter HOW MANY TIMES they fall off. I've also seen some try to remove the "power" of food being "good" or "bad" and just tell themselves they ate "that" and now they need to get in some of the things that are more sustaining and/or nourishing. As we are all coming up on our 1 yr anniversary shortly, we can expect to see more of these posts.... so keep fighting the good fight! irene

Pamela, I have dealt with the compulsive overeater syndrome all my adult life. About 30 years ago I discovered Overeaters Annonymous and through working the 12 steps, I eventually stopped binging. Of course, the damage was done and then I could not lose the weight. Not all groups of OA are created equal, however. I was fortunate to be involved with a lot of recovering alcoholics who had worked the 12 steps in AA and understood the principles in working those steps. It certainly helped me and it continues to help me. Hope you make headway in dealing with the binging. Monna

I am a food addict too. I am also a binge eater. I can go two weeks eating the right foods and exercising and feeling REALLY good. Then, whatever switch turns on, I find myself buying trigger-comfort foods and chowing down. The things that HAVE changed since my surgery are: *I am very aware of what I am doing. I have more control over my eating than I have ever had. *My binge foods have changed: they are now peanut butter and soy crackers, cashews, yogurt, granola and strawberry parfaits, and South Beach protein bars. That's a big difference from whole bags of chips and a container of dip, 1 lb. bags of M&M's, tubs of merangue cookies and heaping bowls of pasta all eaten in one sitting. *I eat out in the open - I used to be a closet eater. I guess I figured no one would know how much I was eating if they didn't see me eat - errrr, ummm, yoo-hoo - all they had to do was LOOK at me to know I was eating a lot!!! *I'm getting much better at not hoarding food. I used to buy two bags, boxes, cans, etc. of everything and leave one in the pantry and one in a bag in my room. I'm not doing that as much anymore. So, there have been very positive changes and I am looking at that as growth. I have quit drinking and quit smoking and it was really hard, but with eating you just can't walk away from it. You have to eat, so the choice has to be there all the time. I'm doing a lot better than I was, and as I said before, I'm very aware of my behaviors, so when I've fouled up, I give myself a little pep talk ( or as a therapist once told me 'positive self-talk') and move on. We'll all get where we're going, some of us just mosey while others are able to run. Hugs, Nancy -114

Hi Pamela: You always bring up such interesting topics. You can tell those of us who are food addicts can't you...we are the ones who are struggling with the slower weight losses. I guess we just have to remember that the surgery was just a tool, and that the real work has to be done by us each and every day. My frustration is in doing everything almost right most of the time, and not generally binging or getting into trouble with foods, and still not seeing any weight loss. I have been struggling with the same 5lb weight swing for at least 6 weeks and it is maddening. Right now, it is very hot and muggy here in Michigan and my legs are blown up like balloons so who knows how much of this is water weight right now.. So I am praying for a change in temperature and a few pounds off on the scale SOON. I guess we can't spend our days looking at how much farther we have to go, or how much we didn't lose, or what we did eat, but rather what we have accomplished. 90lbs, or 102lbs is still pretty darned incredible when you think about it- Something neither one of us would have been able to do without the surgery. In fact I am sure that I would have been 400lbs by now. So I am trying very hard to be my own therapist too, and trying to get myself to see the positive. I don't know if you have this problem but when I become increasingly more discouraged at the lack of weight loss and consequently my lack of ( perceived) bragging rights....I find myself more tempted to make food choices that will only serve in the long run to sabbatoge my long term goals. ( REAL SMART, HUH? ) My husband just suggested to me today that I go back to journaling what I am eating on a daily basis so that I can show it to the doctor to see what he says. More importantly, if I journal- then I can be more honest with myself about what I am actually eating. So, Pam, can you start the Daily Journal again??? Maybe that will help keep us more honest to ourselves. Some of us just have sluggish metabolisms which we had pre-surgically and its just unrealistic of us to expect that something miraculous was going to happen after surgery to make us lose weight faster than our bodies are programmed to do. But sure enough, that IS what we have expected, and dealing with that disappointment ( and perhaps other things in our life) make it more likely than ever that we will fall back into those self destructive patterns we wrongly believed would be eliminated as a result of the surgery. ( Thank G-d we can 't eat alot during those self destructive times...which is what is limiting the damage we can cause) I think the surgery only helps us to help ourselves,but the real work is using what is left of our intestinal fortitude rather than what was rearranged in our intestines to make the decisions as to how we relate to food. I don't know if we will ever " get over" being a food addict....at best we can hope and pray for the ability day by day to manage it. Therein lies the challenge, my friend. You mention something else in your missive about your family history with your mother and food. Pam, we all have some sort of stories about how we got here, because by the time we got to the point of having to have this surgery to begin with, we have already analyzed those issues within ourselves until hell won't have it anymore. Regardless of the cause of " why", the fact still remains that we have to live with the here and now of it. and not allow the past to equal the future. I realized it while I was carrying the baggage of a difficult " food " relationship between my thin father and myself, and the dynamic that set up. Although I was close with him, I harbored alot of anger and resentment about his frustration with me and my weight, but then when he died suddenly I guess I realized..he's gone and now I am still spinning around in the same vortex of self doubt and pity, getting bigger by the minute. So at some point I had to just leave that issue alone because, it wasn't going to bring him back...or make me any smaller. Talk about going on, and on.....but just deal with me please.... I haven't been on the website in while. Hugs... Your fat friend the Kleisdale Turtle..... Marcy somewhere between 80 and 90lbs lost....