Fears and rewards

My oldest son's class went to the Rec Center in Durango. He asked me on Friday if I would call my boss and ask to come in late so I could go. I have a certain amount of freedom with work, so my boss didn't have a problem with it. I was torn between going and having fun and doing the responsible thing. I went for the fun. For the longest time, I have watched the boys climb rock walls. And, I have been so jealous. I swore to myself that if I lost enough weight, I would do it. OK, so you should know that I have a big issue with heights. For what ever reason, I didn't relate climbing a 40 foot rock wall with being 40 feet off the ground until I was standing there looking up at it. It looked more like 100 feet. I had my doubts about the whole thing. But, decided I had waited too long to chicken out. So, I had the girl strap the harness on me. And, then I made her promise that she had never seen anyone die while trying to climb the wall. I had to wait my turn. So, that gave me even more time to consider my mortality. I noted where half way up was and made a mental note of it. Turns out this wasn't such a good idea. At about 5 feet off the ground, my harness made a clicking noise. Turns out, it wasn't a big deal. But, it didn't help my nerves much. At about half way up, I noticed the half way marker. Something clicked in my brain and I lost it. Everything went black and the shakes set in. I had a death grip and pressed myself against the wall. The girl and DH just thought I couldn't find my next grip. So, they started yelling up and telling me where to go next. It seemed like I held on forever. Finally, I got it together enough to yell down something. I don't even remember what. But, DH realized what was happening. They managed to talk me into trusting the support rope and I went down. I kept my eyes closed and walked myself down with my feet. It is all a blur. When I got to the bottom, I almost bust into tears. And, I was shaking really bad. The poor girl felt so bad for me. She kept apologizing. OK so that seems like it should be the end of it. But, when I finally got my act together, I was even more determined. Even DH was surprised when I said I was going back up. I made it all the way to the top. Again, I had to figure out how to get down. I just sucked it up and jumped. That short period of time between jumping and the rope catching was enough to give anyone a heart attack. I cried out a bit, but not enough anyone heard me. And, then I enjoyed my trip down. It was all so cool. I couldn't stop smiling. My 4 year old went on the wall too. He got about 6 feet up when he got bored with it all. I don't think the kid has enough healthy fears. Michelle

You are in inspiration Michelle! You can conquer the world! I am very proud of you, getting back "on the horse" so to speak, was in incredible thing to make yourself do, and it paid off. What's next? Skydiving? LOL Congratulations! Ileana 282/179.6/150

WooHoo for you Michelle!!! You faced your fear head-on and YOU won!! I can really relate to the heights thing. I was terrified of bridges - it got to the point where I was afraid of overpasses!! Well, I had to take the bull by the horns because my world was really shrinking. For my birthday, instead of a gift, I asked my sister to take me back and forth over the George Washington Bridge. It was tough and I actually cried, but we did it over and over until I felt brave enough to drive. Now I don't really even think about bridges - I don't like them, but I can do them without breaking into a cold sweat! Congrats to you Hat - that's quite an accomplishment!! Hugs, Nancy -112

What a feat!!! I also am terrified of heights--even getting on a step stool is a traumatic experience for me. You are my hero!!!! Maybe someday I'll be brave enough to try a rock wall, or even a stool. Monna 389/236/150

Michelle YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to go rock climbing. It is the one thing that I could never picture myself doing so I decided when I hit my 1 year I'm doing it. WAY TO GO!!!! Mike

Michelle! I have the same dream...to make it to the top of a climbing wall. BRAVO to you for not letting your fear keep you from making it to the top! YOU GO GIRL! I am including the link to my profile page which has a photo near the bottom of me and a lapbander friend before we "attempted" to climb an Army supplied wall at a recent charity event we attended. http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=S1104497336 Her husband took no photos of us actually climbing due to the zoo of "fear of height" events that took place! He was so upset thinking his poor wife was going to fall to her death! Note to anyone who may want to attempt this...DON'T LOOK DOWN! We had a blast, none the less. And a year ago, none of us would have been allowed to even attempt it due to our being morbidly obese. So in that I see progress for each of us! Your post has given me more push and determination to find more walls to climb in order to make that goal a reality! THANKS! Towanda