Making it, Day by Day....

It has been a struggle, every single day since the surgery. Fighting depression, the "what ifs", the nasty little thoughts that creep in during the dead of night, struggling with the new identity that I am creating. But, I am also starting to see the "good things" everyone else have been experiencing. I walked four miles last week in the Walk for Israel. I haven't been able to do that for years! (And I did it with a hip that was in pain!) The next day, I wasn't hurting and felt as if I could do it again. Also bumped into an old boss who knew I had had the surgery, but hasn't seen me in four years. She said I looked fantastic...but thankfully, still like myself. I jumped the 100 pounds lost hurdle. And for the first time since the surgery, I was pleased. I don't cry every time I buy clothes that fit. Do I think that everything will be a bed of roses from here on out? No. But, I am finally coming to accept the fact that I am changed and I don't have to feel angry with the person I was before surgery. Thanks for listening. Do I think that everything will be a bed of roses from here on out? No. But, I am finally coming to accept the fact that I am changed and I don't have to feel angry at the person I was before surgery. Thanks for listening.

One of the things that has significantly helped me on this "fantastic voyage" is being on an anti-depressent (Zoloft). I highly recommend discussing this with your doctor. It really is a lot to deal with all of these changed (both good and bad, but definately drastic). Congrats on your success. Even though the outside of you is making obvious changes, the inside is changing, too. If you are not interested in medication, you might consider seeing a therapist--no, I'm not saying this because of anything you posted, I don't think you're any more nuts than the rest of us *wink*. I just think that meds, therapy, or both are good for a lot of us who have gone through this process. (My husband is a therapist, and he celebrated 3 years post RNY yesterday). I love this site, too. Great place to "talk" to people who understand. But, there really is something to be said about actuall live human interaction for this sort of thing, too. Best wishes to you Diana

Ah, Diana...yes, zoloft has been a great help, as have the therapy sessions. But thanks for the suggestions. They do need to be told....