The Carb Demons Attack!

Hi all, Time for confessional! The carb demons came out last night with a vengeance! I had decided I needed a night at home to myself (been spending LOTS of time with new boyfriend). So, I got some movies and popped in a Healthy Choice dinner (280 cal, 23 pro). It had noodles! Although I ate the protein first and veggies second. I dove in for the noodles and ate every single one of them. Then, I wanted more carbs. It was like my body was telling me that I was super full, but my mind was saying, "oh, that was so tasty you need to eat more. you are home alone, who is going to know. this is the norm. eat until you just can't eat anymore." Aaaaahhhhhh. So, I went back to the kitchen and got some bagel crisps. Opened the new bag and proceeded to mindlessly nibble on crisp after crisp until half the bag was gone. Then I crashed! I fell asleep on the couch, missed the end of the movie and woke up to that menu screen on the dvd where it plays the same loop of music, over and over. That was about 9:30. I was so groggy, I could barely drag myself back to the bed to go to sleep for the night... It was almost as if I had been drinking heavily and just passed out or something. How can carbs do that? If anyone has suggestions for avoiding the carb demon attack, please share. I need to be able to spend time by myself without the old me creeping back in saying it is ok to eat every d@mn thing in my kitchen! It is like going backto the times when I would cook dinner for myself and make extra portions to 'take to work for lunch.' Of course, I would eat all of it...about three meals worth of food for dinner. And feel just gross and super guilty afterwards. I guess recognizing the triggers is the first step...boredom and stress are big triggers for me. We are all coming up on the "ten-month-aversary" or have already reached it, and I am terrified that I will slip back into old habits and not be able to stop the slippage. As a matter of fact, in my carb-induced sleep coma last night, I kept have fat dreams...I would be talking to someone and all I could see was fat body parts.... Ugh.... Perhaps it is time for some real therapy. Ok, thanks for reading all of this (if you did) and letting me vent and get out this confessional. I think it is good to get pent up feelings and fears out there, so that they do not fester and grow to be unmanageable. I don't write very often on this board, but I am constantly lurking and reading all your posts and I find them to be very helpful and encouraging and therapeutic. So, thanks. Margaret 238/132/125

Margaret, First of all, congrats on being so close to goal. You have done an awesome job! I've noticed that I've been craving carbs more often lately, especially at school during my last planning period. I know they sell my favorite, White Cheddar Cheeze Its, in the vending machine, and for a while, I was making the treck to the teachers' lounge every afternoon. Then the scale stopped moving. I did a few things to break my cheeze it habbit. (Can you imagine a meeting: Hi, My name is Stephany S. and I'm addicted to Cheeze Its?) Anyway, I quit bringing change to school, and I started bringing a protein bar instead. My body wanted a snack, so I gave it a good option instead of the carb option. I don't have as much of a problem at home since I just don't have carby snacks here. Maybe a pantry cleanout is in your future! Anyway, I'm not trying to preach. I know the struggles to keep from falling back into old habbits. We are all here for you, and you will overcome this one. Just remember how awful you felt after waking up from your carb-induced semi-coma! Take care and let us know how it goes. Stephany

Margaret, you have done such a phenomenal job, and you're so close to goal! You should celebrate your achievements! I think we've all made bad choices that we end up regretting...However, you recognize an issue (the first step), and you seem genuinely committed to resolving it! If you couldn't handle the carb demons, you never would have gotten to where you are today, so hang in there and recommit everyday to why you had this surgery. Good days and bad days are ahead for all of us, but I know you will persevere and come out on top in the end! Take good care, and keep up the GREAT job! All the love, Jeff -117 (ps-I ate 1/2 a rice krispey treat the other day and felt the same way you felt-like I was drunk off my ass and groggy as all get out. I fell asleep on the couch for like 2 hours...uggghhhh! Never doing THAT again!)