Hi Everybody!Long time no post.

Hi all, It has been quite a while since I've been on the boards,but first I want to say that everybody is doing sooooo good!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats to everybody!!!!!! I have decided to post tonight because there is something that I am struggling with and I was wondering if anybody else is going through this also. I know this may sound kind of strange, but how do you all handle the extra attention now that you look noticably different? I live on an Air Force Base,and have been here for 7 years. Up until recently, I have been pretty much invisible to other people on the base. The other day a lady stopped me and said that the only way she recognized me was because she saw me with my kids, and she knew who they were. But I honestly don't feel that I look all that different. I have lost 101 lbs.(94 from surgery),but to look in the mirror, I'm not seeing what other people see. I am just not used to compliments,so I don't know what to say when people stop me to mention my weightloss. I have people I don't even know telling me I look like a different person. I always say thank you,but after that, I get uncomfortable especially when there are other people around to overhear it. I have never liked to draw attention to myself, but now I do it without even trying, and I get embarrassed. I am not and never have been a vain person, and do not want to come across as one. I know that this all sounds weird, but does anybody else feel uncomfortable when people comment on your weightloss? I think maybe I feel this way because I still don't see the changes that other people are seeing. I would really like to hear how you all are handling new attention. Does it embarrass you ??? Sorry for the long post. Keep up the great work everybody!!!

hi denise i sort of know what your talking about and sometimes i get overwhelmed by the attention i get after not seeing people for a long time.... but at the same time i thank god that at least people are seeing the difference because we have worked so hard at this weight loss and it paid off if it didnt show i think we would get discouraged at least i know i would so just eat it up and simply say thanks and give yourself a huge pat on the back eventually one day you will be able to see the new you and know you worked hard to get there !!!!!!!! Stacy 232/141/140

AND DONT BE A STRANGER WE NEED ALL THE JULY SUPPORT WE CAN GET!!!!!!!!!! STACY

Hi Denise Glad to see you back!! I can definitely understand your feelings. For the longest time I didn't want to be noticed; wanted to fade into the woodwork - I was ashamed of my weight and felt disgusted with myself. I think after years of feeling this way, we have to learn how to feel confident and good about ourselves. Self-esteem and self-confidence don't automatically come along with the surgery. It's funny that you brought this subject up. Yesterday when I was walking into work, one of the women from the cafeteria was waiting for me at the door. She said the caf staff has been watching me and can't believe how great I look. She asked how I lost the weight, so I just told her part of the truth: that I eat high protein, low carb, no sugar, lots of water and exercise. (I don't feel I need to discuss my medical history with anyone.) Anyway, I was kind of taken back and felt a bit ambushed, but I know she was sincere and meant well. Afterwards, I allowed myself to feel good that people are noticing me for something other than how fat and unsociable I am; so I gave myself a little pat on the back and realized how very blessed I have been to have had this surgery. As I said before ~ it's not just the physical changes we need to adapt to, but the emotional and social changes too. And don't worry ~ there's a difference between self-confidence and vanity!!! Hang in there and don't be such a stranger!! Hugs, Nancy -102

I LOVE the attention. Never thought I would, but I find myself revelling in it now! The other night I was coming down the escalator at an electronics store, alone (my BF had gone ahead of me and there was no one else around) and I saw this guy standing across from i****ching me as I came down...lol...I almost felt like a princess comng down the stairs for the ball he was just staring! I just grin to myself anytime this happens and think *uh huh, I'm one hot mama now* then I usually burst out laughing and they think I'm insane... that's what keeps me safe from advances I think Enjoy it, eat it up...I don't think it's vain either..we haven't had this like other people have, so why not enjoy it now that it's finally happening to us? We deserve the attention, no? My friend just asked me, afetr seeing my latest pictures, *so did you call Playboy yet?* I told her, *well maybe after the skin is gone* hahahaha My BF also loves it, now not only can he show me off (which he always did anyways) he can see that people are actually looking at what he's showing off now...just wait till my HS this summer! OMG that's gonna be a hoot! Linda 268/156

First of all, the impression that we have of ourselves is VASTLY different from what everyone else sees. To prove it to yourself, have someone take some pictures of you from all different angles and then compare to some pre op pics. That will give you a better idea of how different you look to others. But that only tells the story from the outside. On the inside, we are still the SAME! Some of us love the attention, some are embarrassed by it. I know for myself, that when someone would compliment me, all I could think of was how far I have to go! So, I deflect attention away from the physical by talking about how much better I feel with the weight loss. I know for me, I do this because I don't feel comfortable with my thin self, and tend to be self critical. Since I have lost large amounts of weight before in my life, I also knew that I would not be happy with all the loose, jiggly, deflated skin. I agree with Nancy, that we have to learn how to live our lives as thin people, not as the sometimes invisible, anti-social people that we had become with each added pound. I know for me, my fat was a security blanket of sorts. It made me invisible, which is a kind of funny thought, when all people notice is how fat you are! It didn't call unwanted attention from men to me. Women weren't jealous of me. And I knew that the ones that respected me did so because they cared about ME - not the fat. I think we all have a lot to learn about how to finally live our lives as thin people. irene

Hi Denise!! Great subject!! I can't say that I Love the attention but I do like when people notice. I do see myself as thinner but not 117lbs thinner. I do feel more self confident and outgoing. (I have always been somewhat outgoing). I also catch myself flirting which is something I would have NEVER dreamed of doing before. I think it is going to take us all time to "Catch up" with our new selves. I am striving for self confience because this is something I want to teach my daughter. I don't want to be vain and can't see myself becoming that way. I HAVE seen others who have had WLS who have become extremely vain and it is sad. There is a difference. Just realize when people compliment you it confirms what a great job you are doing. Tara 305/188/170 -117

Hi Denise! Great to see you back! This is an interesting topic, and I'd like to offer a guy's perspective (though I think it will echo many of the sentiments expressed thus far). I have lost 107 pounds. 12 inches from my waist. 3 inches from my neck. That is A LOT of bulk. However, I don't see it. I look in the mirror, and sometimes think I may even look worse than I did before, because of the sagging skin. I was at a regional management meeting earlier this week, and many of the people there hadn't seen me since October. At that point, I was 3 or 4 months post op. I am now 8 months post op, so the change was even greater. I received a lot of compliments, and of course, a lot of questions about how I'd lost the weight and so on. I really tried to down play it, as I feel there are many of those "if you want to lose weight, just go on a diet" type of people around. When asked directly "how have you lost so much so fast", I will tell people that I had a gastric bypass, and leave it at that. If someone appears genuinely interested in the procedure, I will go into more detail, but it seems to me that once most people hear about my surgery, they get an "oh, the easy way out" attitude. That is why I am so open and supportive here on this board--you guys all truly understand how hard this whole scenario is, and realize that this is the farthest thing from "the easy way out"... A month or so ago I decided to *nearly* go bald, buzzing my hair all over and growing a beard (you can see updated pics on my profile). Since doing this, I get alot of comments about how young I look, and it seems that everyone I know (girls AND guys-YIKES) want to rub my head! I can't imagine anyone wanting to do this 107 pounds ago. Again, this embarasses me and makes me terribly uncomfortable--less so with the girls , but still, uncomfortable nonetheless. I know that what I am dealing with is the person inside, and I honestly don't know when or if the person I am inside will ever catch up with the person I am outside. Ordering in restaurants, I still feel like everyone's watching me, saying to themselves "oh, just what your fat ass needs--more food", even though I'm only ordering a hamburger with no bun and no fries, which I can't even finish. And when shopping for clothes (an evil necessity at this point), I can't help but start to slink over to the big and tall shop hoping to go unnoticed, even though nothing there fits anymore, and I can buy whatever I need off of the "regular" size rack. This surgery has been far more mentally challenging than it ever was physically... Anyway, sorry to bore you with my weirdness. I guess maybe I'm just Hang in there, and maybe one day we can all find inner and outer happiness with our new selves. All the love, Jeff -107

HEY I WANNA RUB JEFFS HEAD LOL STACY