6 months out

Last Thur. was my 6 month anniversary. Beside all of the other things going on in my life, I have been reflecting a lot. My weight hasn't changed much recently. I had oped to have hit my goal by my anniversary. My weight loss has been up and down. Month 1 30 lbs 2 22 lbs 3 14 lbs 4 19 lbs 5 8 lbs 6 9 lbs The last two months don't seem fair. I wasn't ready for the honeymoon to end. It looks more like I was on a regular diet. But, at least I haven't felt like I was starving (at least most of the time). It seems like forever since those really hard first months when I felt like I was being left out of the fun of food. Pizza was almost painful for me to give up. Dr. Weber said I would be able to eat pizza again as long as I didn't have cheese on it. But, now, I don't even care for the taste all that much. Every once in a while when the kids order pizza, I will have a bite. Maybe it is all of that chewing that kills the attractiveness. Chewing forever does that to a lot of foods. Burger King still smells really good. But, it is nasty. I can eat steak now. I credit jerky with allowing me to learn to do so. But, hamberger isn't happening for me unles it is in a patty. I think it is because it is harder for me to chew smaller pieces. I find this is true of a few other foods, but I can't remember what right now. I am still puking about 4 times a week. But, I am getting better at figuring out why. Apparently, I do dump. I didn't think I did. And, the dumping causes me to puke. Then I get the chills and want to sleep. I had thought the puking was all from the strictures. It wasn't until I asked the board about the chills that come with it that someone suggested I was dumping. I can have a tiny taste of sugar foods or a medium amount of fatty foods without trouble. But, when I cross that line, I feel horrible. Last week we had pork and beans that I thought would kill me. I was passed out on the couch minutes after the puking stopped. Head hunger has kicked back in. It is sometimes a battle to stop eating when my pouch says no more and my mouth is demanding more satisfaction. In the end, my pouch wins or teachs us a lesson. The other day I sat on the floor for an hour. A year ago that would have left me with days of pain. Very cool. A funny little side thing that I am really enjoying is shaving my legs in half the time because of half of the surface area. Plus, I can reach a whole lot better. I received a late anniversary gift. We found out that we will probably be given 180 days of medical coverage after they give DH the boot. That means that I should be able to get my TT. I almost got up on the desk and did a happy dance when I found out. Heck, if someone would have handed me a Bloody Mary, I probably would have. This also means that I will be able to do the follow up on the lump they found in my breast. And, more important, my son will be able to continue with his medical needs. After the 180 days is up, we have the option to buy medical care at the price of $8000 a year for the family. Ouch. I have started to get nervous about telling my parents about my surgery. I find that when something is tearing me up, I have bad dreams about my parents. I have been having them a lot recently. I know it will be fine, but it still plays on my nerves. What is the worst that can happen? They could gripe at me. My dog really loves me. After I chew the heck out of my meat, she knows she is getting the part too big to swallow. DH did my inches the other day. Even with a 9 pound loss, there isn't much happening with my body. My cup size has gone down a little as well as my arms. But, my thights got 1/2 bigger. How the heck? Oh well. There wasn't that much of a difference. So, that leads me to believe that I lost 7 pounds of hair last month. The good news is that the hair loss has slowed down. Saggy skin is really sad. The other day I asked DH if he could see my panty line. He said oh yeah, right there. I was wearing a THONG. I guess I might as well wear the panities since my rear skin gives me the look aways. And, you have already heard me complain about my tummy. So, I will spare you. Time to go fold towels. Does it seem to anyone else like all I do is laundry? Too bad it isn't a cardio activity. Hat 256/151 (as of this morning)/150 One pound to go!

Happy 6 month anniversary, Hat!! I love your musings - most I relate to...the head hunger kicking in again, the slower weight loss - all the tough things!! You have done so well with your weight loss!! Almost to goal!! I'm so glad to hear that they'll be carrying your medical insurance for awhile - that's so important to have and REALLY expensive if you have to pay for your own. Hugs, Nancy -93