I need some motivators...cheerleaders...advise...

I am the smallest I have been in YEARS!! This has been an amazing journey that I hope continues. I seperated from my husband in Oct. Honestly this has been a long time coming, agreed on both ends. We have planned this seperation for more than a year. I still cannot find the self confidence like I would like. I hear constant compliments from everyone but I still don't feel it sometimes. To be honest...I want a man. I do not and will never want my husband back. My husband and I have not lived as husband and wife for a few years. I feel our seperation was a ticket to be on the prowl. My husband already has found a girlfriend which hasn't helped. I don't want him back but I guess I am jealous that he has someone and I don't. I know there were a few people here dealing with seperation. Some planned like mine, some not. I think I needed to get this of my chest. You guys are the best. Tara 305/204/170 -101

Tara, wish I had the magic wand to mak it all better but I don't. If I did, I would be rich. Sweetie, it takes time but your head will catch up with all the compliments. One day you will come to the realization that you are wonderful, have strengths, and a multitude of great qualities. Even maybe a new special someone will be there to notice too. But what is important is that you believe in you. You took a huge step in doing this surgery. You are worth it. For now take in all the compliments. Let them wash over you and gain strength from it. You can only control your own life and what a great start you have! We're here for you and wish you the best. Take care, Bunny

I have to first say congrats on your successes here.... Now, the compliments, I know exactly where you're coming from...been there, done that...It took a LOT of time for me to get it into my head that I AM what people have been telling me...I see it now. Of course I still have those odd *fat* days...I think we always will...but then I always take a closer look and look at the old me too, then I can say it again...*I'm a hottie * I'm glad you said you *want* a man, and not that you need one. I went through living with my ex while basically separated for over 3 years. I never really wanted to meet anyone new either, I was looking forward to spending some time alone..and then I met my BF, totally by fluke too...and well...over a year later and here we are...yuo meet the best men when you're not looking! BTW my ex and I are still very close, and he and my BF get along great too! Everything will work out for you, be positive and be determined to be happy and you have nothing to worry about. big hugsss.... Linda 268/169.5

Tara, you need to focus on yourself, and ONLY yourself. You need to spoil yourself rotten! Get a makeover, buy some new clothes... What I learned a long time ago is that this is MY life, and I am going to live it on MY terms. Once I realized that I was responsible for my own happiness, I stopped worrying about all the people around me. And when I was focused on myself, I was happy. When you finally decide EXACTLY what your own terms are, you'll magically have more confidence. And strangely enough, when you have confidence, the men start to come around. And then you get to decide which ones are worthy of spending time with. Obviously, it is going to take some time for you to adjust to being single and having your ex partnered up. Hang in there, keep losing weight, and ENJOY YOURSELF! Oh, and I highly recommend getting a spa pedicure... Pamela stuck at 78 down

Tara, first of all let me say this. You are one of the greatest cheerleaders on this board ~ now sit back and let us cheer you on!! You have come so far - 101 lbs. girl!! WooHoo!! Tara, maybe it would be a good idea to take some alone time for yourself. Try and get comfortable with your new self and your new situation. You've got a lot of stuff going on, so maybe bringing a new relationship into the mix might not give you the time to build your confidence and independence. Of course, this is just my opinion. I do hope you find what you're looking for and I'm sure you will. You are a beautiful and sweet person, so just make sure you don't settle for anything but the BEST!!! Remember, you deserve it!! And hey, don't forget to tell yourself everyday how wonderful you are!!! Hugs, Nancy -92

Tara: Hi hon.......you know I'm going through pretty much the same thing you are. It's hard to have confidence in yourself and even in decisions. But I deceided to concentrate on me. And not worry about a man......seems I'm not too good at picking those. LOL Just take some time and get to know your new self......I think that is so important..... Take care hon. Your doing awesome~~~

Tara, Tara, Tara!!!! You are AWESOME, and you will definitely find the person who makes you happy. Until that day, keep your head up, have confidence in yourself, be proud of what you've accomplished, and know that we are all here to support you in any way we can! You're THE BEST, and don't ever think otherwise. All the love, Jeff -105