Discouragement vs. Depression

Is it delayed post op depression or what? I don't even log on to the board much anymore because my progress is so slow. RNY lap on 7/26/04 and I'm only down 60lbs. Starting weight 357 at 5'8'. I thought for sure I'd be down more given how big I was. At first it was exciting to hear of everyone's success, now it just depresses me. I've tried supplementing my diet w/ soy whey protein powder daily, i can't eat enough food to get the protein. Still my hair is falling out worse than when I was waiting for a liver transplant. It is extreme. While i expected it, I never thought it would be this bad. I'm grateful for the success I've had but am depressed that the scale isn't moving much. I thought maybe I had unrealistic expectations, but I read all your posts and am blown away by the where you all are in comparsion. I'm happy for everyone, just not my own progress. Healthy Holiday Blessings, Tracey in Walnut Creek, CA : *(

Hi Tracey, I had thoughts of myself being a somewhat slow loser. I started at 322 and as of today I've lost 80 lbs. Seeing some people that were 50 - 70 lbs lighter than me losing the same or more than me was discouraging. I've come to realize that EACH of us has our OWN journey of weight loss. The folks that have less to lose and drop very quickly will eventually slow down to a rate that suits their body and the amount they have to lose. I'm sure that as long as I continue doing what I need to do, I will continue to lose weight. I have a friend who had surgery and has continued to lose weight (although MUCH more slowly now), and it will be her 2 year anniversary in February. You mentioned a liver transplant. Did you check with your doctors about the effect the anti-rejection drugs might have on your rate of weight loss? I've found that getting in the protein can be hard some days too. I use the carb countdown milk to make decaf lattes and chai tea drinks. It's upped my protein intake to a more even rate so that even on days when that meat "just won't go down" I can still get some tasty protein in. Coming to the board will keep your journey in the forefront of your mind. Skip over the "I lost it posts" if you need to and read the ones that you think will be helpful to you. Post about your frustrations - you might just get the one tip that will give you the breakthrough that you want and need. Most of all - this board is and should be a place for compassion, support and understanding. irene

Tracey, I'm sorry you're feeling so down in the dumps. I guess I will say what I always read in these types of posts - when was the last time you lost 60 lbs in 4 months? I have to say that I do understand your disappointment and I guess I would be disappointed too. You say you can't eat enough food to get in protein - how many calories, and grams of protein are you getting in? I know if you don't take in enough, your body can go into starvation mode and hold onto the pounds. Are you eating your protein first and holding back on the carbs? How about exercise and water? Maybe a call to your surgeon or nutritionist will help you pinpoint the reason why your weight loss is slower than you thought it would be. Hang in there and the weight will come off!!! Hugs, Nancy -79

Tracey, I was having a long talk with my body this morning and thought of something I should post to the board. It seems that it will fit right in with your topic. I started at 256. As of today, I am down 88 pounds. Now, I am not telling you this to brag. I have had complications that have kept me from eating right and exercising. Sure, the result has been rapid weight loss. But, not the right kind of weight lose. One of the reasons I have lost so much is that my body is eating my muscle. And, it ain't pretty. In the long run, I am going to have a lot of work to do to fix this body. And, I am weak. I used to be strong as a horse. Now I get tired standing for very long. And, then there are the brain issues. It just isn't working the way it should. I am not getting the nutrition I need to have a healthy brain. And, like you, my hair is coming out in clumps. Until things get under control, I am going to have to try and focus on the good things. But, when I am honest with myself, I know that I would be much healthier if I was a slow loser. Please, even if it takes you longer than you thought it would, remember that it will come and you are going to be healthier for it doing it the slower way. Hat

I'm a slow loser too I know how you feel and if you need a hug or somebody to have a talk to, I'll be out your way this weekend. Holla at me !!

Hey Tracey, I started to email you a response, but know there are others who probably feel like we do, so I am making it a public post reply. Tracey, I definitely understand how you feel. I had open rny 7/1/04. I started at 327 5'7. To date, I have lost 60 lbs, even you have lost more weight than me, but I still wish you nothing but success. I was very dissapointed, at first. I do everything, including working out and eat right. I told my surgeon that I do all the right things, including plenty of cardio, walking and now weights and I barely lose. There is a lady in my support group who lost 100 lbs in 4 months. She then looked and said, I don't do any exercise, but the weight comes off. Sometimes, I do say, what's the use of trying to do all the right things when no matter what I do, I get the same results. Last month, I lost 6 -lbs. That's it. I will admit that I eat some things I should not, however there are others on the the messages boards that go way over board, yet they continue to lose large amounts of weight. I have decided that I will not focus on others, but I will focus on myself. I will be the turtle and not the rabbit. I WILL endure, no matter how long it takes me. At least I am not gaining at this point. so yes, I definitely know how you feel! But try to be positive, as much as possible. Run your own race and let the chips fall where they may. As long as you know that you have done the things you are suppose to do, that's all you can do. Other than the slower weight loss, I am healthy as a horse. Thank God, I didn't have one complication, at all. I was up and walking for exercise within 1 week of open surgery, back to work in less than 3 weeks. I can take my vitamins without any problems. My labs came back great. Feel free to email me if you like. PS, I have gone from a 26W to a lose 20W and a fitted 18W ~Shelly

Hi Tracey I feel the same way you do I had lap rny on July 21 and I as of today have only lost 54 lbs I started at 311 I'm 5'11''. I try to do every thing right and it still comes off slow. But I am grateful that I am down the 54 lbs. I try not to conscentrate on the numbers but on how much better I feel. And I know without the surgery I could and would never have lost 54 lbs in 4 months!!.. As for your hair I think there was another post about using some products and I know there is a shampoo you can use. You might want to ask your dr about those. More than likely with your liver transplant it has effected your weight loss and probably need to check with your dr in that regard. Don't be discouraged there are other slow losers right there with ya and as I have said before we will all get to goal some will just take a little longer thats all. Nobody said this was a race anyway. Our goal is good health!! not numbers! hang in there ..

HI Tracey....Try thinking about it this way...Wow, 60 pounds in 4 months! How terrific! Under 300 pounds...what a major accomplishment! If I lose another 60 pounds in 4 or 6 months that's 120 pounds! BTW....I've been getting my protein, my vits etc. on a regular basis along with the Biotin etc and I'm slowly going bald! I've lost about half my hair which wasn't all that thick to begin with. I've decided that it doesn't matter what you do, its going to come out. But it will grow back! (I hope) Hang in there..it will get better. Keep working on getting your protein and calories in. You can do this. CJ

Tracey, I've lost 75 to date and boy am I in a funk myself. The scale has not moved in 3 weeks. My beautiful long hair is half gone, and I could cry. The trick is to get on that work-out program and hell it's so hard . Another thing is to stay protein and only carbs in the form of fruits and veggies. I am 5 mos out now and starting to slip on the carbs. It's just so hard to not eat baked potatoes, mashed potatoes because they go down so easy. Plus the holidays are here and it's just so different not being able to splurge on all the goodies. Good luck girl, this surgery has not ben easy, the famous tool is just that only a tool. Take care, margaret

Tracey, I am so proud of you! Every pound off is a pound gone, and from what I have heard the people that lose the slowest have more luck keeping it off! And not everyone loses fat, some lose pounds of muscle, and that is not good! You are losing, and will continue to lose. One day at a time my dear! Pat yourself on the back, you are a fabulous woman, who is just going to get more and more fabulous as each day goes on! As for the hair, many of us are losing hair, I had hair below my waist before the surgery, I cut it off shoulder length so it wouldn't seem so bad.....but it's still bad! Bald spots here and there now, after people find out that I had WLS, they are all apologetic, and tell me they thought I had cancer due to the hair and weight loss! I have learned to laugh it off....if losing some hair makes me feel better and live lots longer than the few years they gave me before I had the surgery, than take all my hair Lord! It will grow back, and I keep hoping, like many chemo patients, that it will grow in thicker and richer than before! Hang in there Tracey, you are doing wonderfully, at YOUR pace.....doesn't matter what anyone else's pace may be, your pace is right for you! I am going to do a dance for you Tracey, cuz you are awesome!