And...Away They Go!

Patima
on 12/6/04 1:44 am - GA

All right, since Patti's Perilous Panty Incident (for those who are in the dark unknown...yes...I did lose my drawers)! I had to make a major wardrobe change in order to prevent the catastrophe from ever happening again. I will be forever conscious of where my drawers are when I am out and about. Now, to my friend who sent the gift bag with the thong....I thank you for the thought. I also enjoyed the note that included the insight that "Now, before my wls, if I had worn thongs, it would have taken me a week to find them again--lol. Now, after 3 months and 50 pounds it would probably only take 3 days." This is not a mental picture that I enjoyed! Since then, those large Granny Panties have been trashed. After 65 pounds I figured it was time to put aside the well worn white wonders (in the trash bin) and opt for some new fashionable (although still white and cotton - old habits are hard to break) smaller waist hugging drawers. I was perplexed over the selection process of my new briefs, not as much for style and design, but as to size. As I held and judged each pair, it was a tough decision as to whether or not what was left of my behind was actually going to fit into these smaller wonders. According to the provided measurements on the package, they should fit, however; holding them up and looking at them - Hmmmm, I know there was a little message balloon that appeared overhead with a humongous question mark contained within. Now, the real question.....would you, and could you, and should you ask someone? And just how would you go about posing a question like that...."Excuse me, ma'am, but do you think I can get my hiney into these?" Another question would be...."Ahem, if I take them home and they are too big, how do I go about returning them?" If they were too small, that wouldn't be an issue...just wait a week! Now, before the guys chime in, I just want you to know that asking a man for his opinion wasn't something that even crossed my mind. First of all, if you ever look at men in the ladies underwear department, they 1) look like they would just die if any of their male friends saw them standing there, 2) are wondering where the Y-fronts are and 3) are just plain "silly looking" standing there holding a purse! Approaching them and asking them a question would cause the poor thing to faint dead away, and I am just too considerate a person to cause further embarrassment for the poor fella. But meanwhile, going back to the problem of the panties....if they are too big then going without is not an option - Hey, not for ME anyway! But just to let you know, although there was quite a selection (I was going to say WIDE selection, but my derriere no longer requires a "Wide Load Sign" or a red signal flag to warn people or even a "Beep Beep Beep" sound when I back up), I opted for full, not minimum, coverage. I don't think that I would have the problem of not finding them for a few days or even hours should I opt for a thong, but in my day (no age jokes - puleeze), it wasn't fashionable to wear your underwear up your crack. We called them "wedgies" and they didn't feel all that great. Some parts of the country call them "gozinia's" and I am sure the same problem applied. Now as for the color....I am not like todays young men who find it fasionable to wear your pants waist around the top of the thigh in order to show the beautiful boxer selection you have made, or young ladies who think that wearing the "thread" of the top of your thong higher on your waist than your jeans is some kind of announcement that you are cool or something. The only thing that lets ME know is that 1) you are wearing underwear and 2) you have a giant wedgie up your butt and that is the reason for the attitude. In my day, underwear, to include bras and panties, were meant to be worn and not seen. Now, when Madonna opted to wear her Fruit of the Looms on the outside of her clothing, I totally confused, but it raised an even further question - Now.....does she have underwear under the clothes and then more over the clothes or just how does this work? When the Latino singer Selena went on stage, she opted for just a bra and slacks. No, questions about that.....except.....how could she go on television and perform with only a bra on when at the time commercials using real women to model the bras weren't allowed? Hmmmmm. Well, I accepted that I shouldn't have been wearing panties that were 4 sizes too big. Afterall, they don't get more comfortable as I go along, like a big nightshirt. And yes, being that big they weren't as functional as they should have been. But I WAS too proud to put a safety pin in them or even pop and pull the elastic tighter. And suspenders, well, just how far should one go? And granted, sliding out of bed and having to hold them so they didn't slide up and make me feel like Steve Urkel in Family matters with my underwear waist all the way up under my armpits did make the mornings a pain (in more ways than one). So, while I continue to be the ....BUTT....of your joke (whoever and I just LOVE the attention), I just want to let you know.......THE GIRLS ARE DOING GREAT!!! Houdini has not performed any type of disappearing act and tube socks continue to stay on my feet! They continue to get to the door before I do, and as of yet....they haven't found my navel! And now, one final note to my friend, I love you and your sense of humor. So.....how are you doing? Patti

Mitchs S.
on 12/6/04 2:30 am - Golden, CO

RNY on 07/12/04

Patti, COngrats on the loss so far!!!! I comepletley understand teh loosing the underware part, I was wearing a skirt to work one day, (and I do wear thongs) and I had not noticed how big they were getting on me, and well needless to say I was walking back to my bosses office and one of my female co workers said that I better run to the restroom before I go and see him. I was so embarassed that I ran to the rest room and went and got new undies that night. I feel for you. Good luck!! Much Love, Mitchs Sunshine -83.5!!!