why cant they tell??

i had wls on july 26....as of now i have lost 58lbs, wow thats close to 60lbs in 3 months....it's amazing to me, i started my journey at 296lbs, today i weigh 238lbs. now heres the catch.....i have not once had anyone outside my family say to me....wow you're losing weight, and i wonder why?? is it that people cant tell i've lost weight or that they just dont bother to mention it?? am i crazy for even caring what others think....or is this normal? it would just be nice if for once someone just walked up to me and said..hey beverly i can tell you're losing weight..lol, i know i'm silly, just had to vent

Hi There, Listen...they can tell but whether they are just polite and don't want to say or whether they are noticing but are jealous...or maybe they are close to you and have seen you go up and down on a regular basis...I don't know but they certainly can tell. The people that matter will say something positive and as for the others..... don't worry....I have lost 67 and had my surgery the week prior to you and lots of people haven't said anything. Others have said.."oh you look nice"...which could be a general thing to say. Just remember you did this for you and not for anyone else so just go look in that mirror and jump up and down and say positive things. Way to go...you are doing a fabulous job...Keep it up. Karen.,

thanx for your reply karen...it really made me think, and you're absolutely right!!! hoo-ray for me

I recently had a student of mine ask me if I was "OK" - she kept on asking me several times - so finally I asked her why she was asking. Turns out the students - who for the most part don't know I had surgery - had decided I had to have some "terminal illness" as I was losing so much weight. So - people who don't know you well - maybe thinking it is some "bad" reason why you are loosing weight and are reluctant to say anything! Anne 260/190/150

I have the opposite problem! I wish people would shut up about my weight loss! They never said "Oh you look terrible" when I was gaining! Why do they feel the need to comment over and over again about my current weight? I didn't tell anyone at work and only a few people outside of work because I didn't want my weight to be the daily topic of discussion. Hasn't worked! I try to keep the discussion to a minimuim but some people don't seem to get how annoying they are. Especially aggravating are the ones who tell me, with complete authority, that I don't need to lose anymore, that I look fantastic as I am. I am still obese and they can tell me this with a straightface????? Enjoy the lack of attention while it lasts..cuz, believe me, it will soon get annoying to have every conversation you have be focused solely on your weight loss, diet and exercise program. ARRRGGGGGHHHH! CJ 246/183/138

I have had the same problem, at -60 pounds my husband's family gave him and his twin brother a huge surprise birthday party, tons of family members were there. Not ONE said anything to me, and they hadn't seen me since before the surgery! I was heartbroken, I was so proud of myself, and was wearing clothes FIVE sizes smaller! My niece told me that they were probably all afraid to say anything, to be honest, it didn't help. I have tried to see it that way, and assume that they are jealous, they are afraid of hurting my feelings (for some strange reason), or maybe they are afraid that I have cancer or something now. Who knows. But my own little family is full of praise for me, and I remind myself every day that they are the ones who love me and they are the ones that matter most to me! And if that doesn't help, I go and look into a mirror and I tell myself, "You look fabulous, keep up the great work!" So, remind yourself that you did this for yourself, and those that are close to you, and don't worry about the rest of the world! And besides, we, your buddies on this board, are proud of you!! Sandy 290/225/165

I just had a similar situation happen to me. There is a man that comes into my office maybe once a month. I have expected him to notice, but I decided to say something to him and he said "really, you had surgery?" I didn't know whether to cry or smack him!!! I mean, I have lost 81 pounds since July 1st!!!! I'm going to chalk it up to the fact that he is a male and they just don't pay much attention to things.

I don't know...I was kind of wondering the same thing!

I get a few comments, but not many. I attribute this to the fact that many people have seen my weight go up and down over the years, so I am still within my weight range even though I have just lost 58 pounds in 4 months. As of right now, I am the smallest weight I've ever been as an adult, and I'm down to a comfortble size 18. I think that when I lose the next 15 pounds, people are really going to notice because no one has seen me this small before (even my husband). Give it time. People will notice soon. keep up the great work! Diana

I think alot of people notice, but are afraid to insult us with a compliment. A lady on my soccer team commented that she had noticed I was ALOT smaller, but did not want to say anything at first until she heard me comment about hoping to not need such a large size in a few months in my uniform shirt. It was nice to hear. I was VERY open about the surgury beforehad with many of my friends, so most of them feel confident they can come up and say "Wow you look great!" This last weekend I was basking in tons of glory, Everywhere I went someone came up and said "Wow you look wonderful, how much weight have you lost?" Most are amazed when I tell them I have 80 pounds to go. One of my daughters teammates who is VERY into apprearances even commented to my daughter.... "Your mom is soooo skinny now!" (I wish) but what a great thing to hear. I think we all crave that feedback, maybe you want to drop it into a conversation with one of these people that you are really feeling great since your surgury, I bet they will tell you you look fabulous and that they were afraid to say anything. I personally love the compliments, my favorite is someone who has known me for over 6 years saying from over a 100 feet away they had no clue it was even me. I am glad that I was so open so people feel comfortable bringing it up. I have spent so many years HIDING and not caring how I looked bc well... yuck! that so have people constantly coming up and saying WOW is wonderful. I bet you will get more compliments when people know you are ok talking about it. Kristy B 306-242-165 -64