Your Support System & How open are you about it?

Hi Everyone; Who is your support system? How open have you been with others about the surgury. Before or after? I have been lucky in that my entire family, from grandparents (one had stomach stapling herself years ago as well as an uncle) to parents, to my daughters (13 & 5) etc. The only negative I heard prior to from family was my sister in law (the prom queen) She balked and said "why would you want to do that?" I very matter of factly stated that if I do not, I do not expect to live very long bc I am already prediabetic (insulin resistant) at 31. She did not say anything else, however, I felt she is more worried that when I am done I will be thinner than her and she is the one who thought it was funny to put on my firefighting gear (pants) at the station years ago and hold them out to the sides to see how big they were and take a picture to send to my brother in law in basic training saying "Who's are these?". I did notice when we went up for her son's birthday the other week everyone in the family raved about how good I looked - except her and my brother in law. My dad and his wife know a lady in Gulf Shores who had it and was thrilled and have been encouraging it for over a year. My mom has been encouraging it for years, (she also knows a lady from work who had it ant was thrilled) as well as my Grandmother who had it herself. My husband was sceptical until the diabetic endocrinologist recommended that I have it done. I was open with my job, my boss, and coworkers, my boss gave me 2 weeks off with pay for it and visited me in the hospital. My friends have been very supportive. I am actually suprised to run into someone who does not know. I did the other day and a mom from my daughters soccer team last year saw me and just kept looking at me and finally said, where you on vacation and got a tan, because I cannot get over how great you look! I just smiled and said losing 50 pounds will do that, and she said "wow, that is what it is, you look magnificant!" and asked how I did it and I told her I had the surgury and it went great. I was leaving the field and 2 of my friends I used to be on the soccer board with both ran over to tell me how great I look, and one said he son did not recognize me anymore. YAY! I have found being open has been a great thing. People know it is ok to compliment me and point out how I am shrinking right before them. I do not tell strangers obviously, but I know there is such a negative stigma behind having this surgury that I want people to know people do have it and it goes just fine for them. How have all of you dealt with telling others? How supportive have your families been? How open are you when people ask? I just cannot wait until I finally look my age! I am 31 now, will be 32 next Monday, and I will be so happy when someone is not shocked to find out I am only 31. (Although having a 13 year old daughter and being married over 14 years may lead them to assume I am older too I guess) Kristy 306/250/165

Hi Kristy, Keep up the good work!!! Congratulations on your loss. We share a surgery date - 7/19. We started about the same weight and I have lost 49lbs. I am thrilled with the outcome and the expectation of losing more and more. My sister & bro-in-law are basically my only family. They were both skeptical until they met a gal -while I was in the operating room- who had it done last year. When I got to my room after surgery, I would have thought that my sister was being paid to do a commercial for WLS. She could not stop talking about what a great tool it is and how much weight could be lost. She tells everyone that I have had WLS. Of my 2 best friends, one was very supportive and the other against it. The one against it just did not understand that I was doing it for medical reasons more so than cosmetic. I have been a diabetic for 12 years - always keeping it under control and taking meds for high cholesterol. My levels are all normal now, so no meds. Hopefully on the mend from my "evil ways" I do not share the info with anyone, unless they ask. Over the past 11 weeks I have had several friends call to say that they have a co worker or friend that is comtemplating the surgery and would I talk with them. My surgeon even asked me to speak to one of his patients while I was there for my one month check up. Of course I am happy to share the little bit of knowledge I have and the experience so far. (and it has been a great experience) Since I am still fat , people notice something is different, but can't quite determine what it is. I am happy that I am on this journey to a healthier slimmer life. The surgeon got me a great seat here on the losers' bench. Continued success...and good health. Cathy I

Thanks & Congrats on your WLS too! I too am looking forward to shedding another 85 pounds if I can! I am liking the losers bench! Kristy B 306/250/165

Well, both of you seem to be doing great! My husband is probably the most supportive in this journey. He is the one who has to deal daily with my "tales from the scale" as I like to call my weigh-ins. He's also the one there when I'm puking because I over-ate, and has reminded me more than once the chew well, increase my excersice, and drink my water. My daughter, who just turned six, has become the "food police." She constantly says "Mommy, you can't have that, can you?" Sometimes she's right, sometimes she's wrong...but if I eat it, she squeals on me! My mom has also been extremely supportive. She joined Weigh****chers the same week I had surgery, so we're losing weight together, although in my opinion, she got the raw end of the deal. This has been pretty effortless on my part. She's always hungry, and I'm always full, and I've lost more. But she's there to hear me gripe when the scale is stuck, or helps me overcome my sadness of having to pass by that second helping of my favorite foods. My husband's family hasn't been very supportive through any of this. My husband's brother was okay with my having surgery (he battles weight, too), but his wife was anit-WLS, mostly because of her religious beliefs, I think (she told me that the devil tempted me with food, and it was a cross I was meant to bare...) My father-in-law was also against surgery, although he was afraid for me more than anything. Now days, they've all pretty much accepted what I've done, and they're glad that I'm alive...but I think mostly, I'm something to gossip about to all of their friends. We live in a medium-sized town where my in-laws know everyone, and word has spread! Okay...this was kind of long and rambling! Pamela -47

Pam, I giggled when I read your comment "Tales from the scale!" My hubby can so identify! and the minature FOOD POLICE. Sounds like my daughters! I have 4 consciences now, me, my hubby, and both daughters. I had to laugh the other day, my oldest mentors a 2nd grade soccer team and made cupcakes to bring to practice for them and she obviousl had a bunch of extra to make for the family - She made these mini half size cupcakes for me so I could have a couple. (they do all feel guilty eating "bad" things in front of me!) I feel for your mom, my mom keeps commenting about how she needs to lose some too. Kristy B 306/250/165

I wish i had support,, no one in my family wanted me to have the surgery and my lover at the time,, was with me but not in support of it...so its still hard to get the exercising in or the walking,, i know i have to do it for myself,, but its hard to get going,,wish i had someone who wld call to make me do or go some where.. dana