Losing focus...

Hi WLS Buddies.... I need help and know everyone on here will give me the advice I despertly need right now. This Wednesday will be my 3 month WLS anniversary and I'm losing focus on why I had this surgery. I'm overjoyed with my 61 lbs weight loss and have been riding high and enjoying all the aspects of life that are opening up to me. However, I hit an emotional snag this week and turned to ALCOHOL to relieve my stress. Had a few HIGH sugar drinks and did not dump. Now I feel like my clothes are fitting me a little tighter then they were (I only weigh every 2 weeks, tomorrow is weigh day) and feel like I have gained all of my weight back. I have been eating a lot of HIGH fat foods and just feel like I'm back right where I started. I'm craving food the most since having the surgery and just want to drown my depression into a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Food was always my escape and when you don't have that anymore you feel so lost. Really like you have lost your best friend. So, if anyone could look at a sample menu of mine below and provide some advice I would really appreciate it! B- Protein shake L- 1 cup of low carb chicken soup D- 1/4 cup of chopped taco meat with cheese and sour cream and 1/4 cup of refried beans with cheese and sour cream I feel especially bad this morning as I had 1/2 cup of scrambled eggs with cheese and 1/4 of sausage. My husband, who has been my biggest supporter, even mentioned that I'm eating alot of fatty foods. Thanks for your help! Dawn WLS 7-6-04 292-231-140

Do not be too hard on yourself. We all go through this. I was with my family over the week end for the first time since my surgery. Everyone was telling me how wonderful I looked and I felt like I was on the top of the world. I caught myself thinking that I was finished and could just set back and enjoy all this. I am far from finished, I have 110 pounds to lose. It did not take me too long to figure this out. You will be fine, just think about how happy you are with the weight you have lost and keep up the good work. Libby Air Force Mom 315/250.8/140

Dawn, take this for what is worth--rambling off the top of my head I'm sure! I just got off a plateau and I discovered something while there. I was engaging in the same negative talk I did when I dieted (What did I eat yesterday? I cheated? Was I bad? on and on) Then I thought--What am I doing? I'm doing fine--why am I beating myself up?---HABIT! Plain and simple. I did that over the years and started doing it when the scales stopping moving. I kicked myself in the butt and moved on. Increased my protein and walking and TADA--3 lbs. off this morning I know when I dieted before I would lose about 10% of my weight, hear compliments, and then start sliding back. Why? Heck if I know but as I read your note I thought--are those old habits surfacing again. Sweetie--I'm not being critical at all--just thinking through my thoughts and my own actions. Might be the same for you and maybe not. Forget everything. Make a goal for tomorrow. Make it realistic. Do something wonderful for yourself tomorrow (a great bubble bath, buy a book, buy a cd and put it in a new cd player to go walking even if it's to the corner and back or whatever you are up too, have a massage, call someone you haven't visited with in a long time, etc.) We've used food for along time for comfort--time to find a substitute. Post tomorrow and tell us about your wonderful day. I'll be watching for it tomorrow night! We're here for you. Understand! Bunny

Bunny- Thank you so very much. Your post brought tears to my eyes. You are so right about everything you wrote. We all share the same negative opinions of ourselves and we have to fight it every day. I think the first, major, step to take is to recognize we are doing this and begin to change our thoughts. Since I wrote that post today I'm already feeling better. I have decided to use Fitday again to get a better grasp on things and was shocked to see how little I ate today. I thought I was being a total pig. I have decided to up my protein and continue my exercise routine. Tomorrow is my weigh day and no matter what, I will not be discouraged if the results are not what I wish they to be. I understand that my period will increase my weight somewhat and when I weigh myself the next time I will have shown a loss! Thank you so much for encouraging me and instilling my faith again. Because of what you wrote, I can't wait to live my day tomorrow and share it with all of you! Hugs and Hugs and Hugs.... Dawn

I'm dealing with the same issues you are. Even though I log my foods on fitday and get all of my protein in, if my stomach is a bit fuller than normal, I start to get that pre-op "dieting guilt" that I got each time I over ate or ate something really bad for me. It's only been recently that this guilt has settled in. As for what your sample menu shows...it's really not that bad. You could probably do with a higher protein lunch choice, like tuna or chicken (if you can tolerate it), and eventually, you'll probably phase your protein shake out and add something high in protein. As for your dinner...typically, I make a dinner that my whole family will eat. Many times, it is chicken, but other times it is something with extra lean ground beef. I tend to use the low-fat cheeses, low-fat sour cream, and tons of hot sauce for tacos. If you choose carefully, you can find refried beans that are fat-free, too. My philosophy is to make the best choices you can 99% of the time. It's not always easy when you're not the only person eating. If you haven't tried it already, visit fitday.com and enter in your foods for a week. You'll probably find that you're not doing as poorly as you think you are. Maybe a little high in fat at times, but unfortunately, there are just too many foods out there that contain fat, especially if it's high in protein. It's a tough balancing act, and it's going to take you more than three months to get it all worked out. You're doing terrific! Focus on what you've accomplished, and take your day one meal at a time. You're going to be just fine! Pamela 352/309/135ish

Dawn, glad you are feeling better. It sounds funny but I gave myself permission not to feel guility! Sounds easy but somehow actually telling myself--Stop--you don't have to feel guility anymore was liberating. Enjoy and talk to you tomorrow! Love, Bunny

Bunny, I have floated through OH several times and I just have to say that you have such a caring heart. Its refreshing and touching to your read your post.

Oh no you don't lose focus. So you have fallen of the wagon. I think with all of us here we can get you back on it. I dont think a day goes by that I at least wonder WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF. How much did the Doctor say you could hold? I believe that is where I would start first. My doctor told me that a 1/4 of a cup was it. He told me that I could strech my pouch if I kept overfilling it. Then I would be upset because then all of this would be for nothing. As for the food my doctor told me no sugar and limit all high calorie and fat foods. The no sugar,fats, and calories was because of me getting sick. Which I can tolerate somethings but I cant go a day with out having the dumping atleast once from something that did not bother me the day before. There is no way you have gained your weight back. Just remember that if you think you have messed up on breakfast there is still lunch and supper. Best of Luck with weigh in! Hang in there!

Dawn, first of all your weight loss so far is awesome!! How did you make out with your weigh in?? We are all struggling to find our path in this new way of life, and of course there will be some bumps in the road. There are some days that I get full really fast, and other days that I wonder if I even had the surgery because I feel like I can't fill up. When I doubt that the surgery is going to work for me (I think we all have that fear every now and again) I just look at the before and after pictures on the board and it makes me feel better - if it worked for them it will work for me. Your menu doesn't look bad at all. My surgeon told me to concentrate on the protein, keep the carbs as low as possible and really didn't mention fat, although I do keep an eye on it. Are you getting in fluids? That's sometimes a struggle for me. Like Pamela, I use fitday.com and log in everything I put in my mouth. It really helps to give me a real sense of what I'm eating. Hang in there - the most important thing is that you're aware of what's going on and want to fix it. You'll be just fine!! Hugs, Nancy -52

The week I lost the most weight, I ate sausage gravy over fried potatoes every morning! I am just trying to live a normal life eating smaller portions. If I create too much of a "diet" atmosphere, I know I will fail. Diets and obsession about fat and carbs don't work for me; but portion control does apparently. Good luck, and don't beat yourself up!!! Christiana -51