A newbie and scared to death!

I have been 'eaves-dropping' for a while and finally decided to post. I have my pre-op surgery appt tomorrow morning and and my surgery is scheduled for next Thursday. I have been so scared over the past week that I've actually considered backing out altogether. I tend to have what I call 'medical anxiety'. I simply don't handle medical procedures very well, especially where needles are involved (needle phobic, at least a little bit). I've just recently gotten over having an IV (4 C-sections and another surgery later), but I still get nervous until it's actually in, though. My biggest fear now is waking up on a ventilator. I know it's not the 'norm', but I'm still scared. I know I'll panic and makes things worse. I'm also terrified of the blood gasses test (I've heard nothing but painful stories about this) and not happy about the gastric tube that I will have for 10-14 days post-op. (They actually want to pull it out, can't I just keep it?? LOL) I'm going to talk to my doc in the am about these, but I feel like such a big baby. A few days ago I cried and cried and actually considered backing out of the surgery altogether. That's just how scared I am. It's so embarrassing to have to go in and tell my doc all of this stuff. I know I'll cry then, too. All I can ask is that you guys pray for me and my 'fears'. I know that this surgery is what I want and have to do, and will do. It just would be nice to be able to relax a little about it. Thank you so much.

Hi Richelle.............we have the same surgery date! I'm sorry about your fears. I have several myself, although they're not the same as yours. I'm afraid of lasting complications. That I will be one of the statistics for whom WLS doesn't go well. Not death....that doesn't scare me. But having to live with some complication that lessens my quality of life....more than being MO. I know that I will be mega-scared when it is time to check in to the hospital. I just want this all to go well so badly. I'm sure I'll have tears as I'm wheeled into surgery. But I'll just have to say a prayer and leave it in God's hands. I'd be happy to stay in touch as we count down the days to the 22nd....which is only 9 days away....wow! Traci

Traci I too have fears about life after WLS and the possible complications of a Post op gone wrong.....I am scared of the whole thing period....I am feeling guilt, anxiety, anxious, nervous, sad, very happy, excited, impatient, all of these emotions are stirring in my heart and head....I have this urgent feeling to get all of my bills, house work, yard work, cleaning out cars, school shopping, etc. out of the way before the "big day".... I dont know why the sudden urgency but I feel as if I have to get everything on my list done before July22..... I would love to try and stay in touch with all of the July 22 babies.... email me any time!!! May God bless you and give you peace and courage!

I was so terrified of having surgery that I had to work really hard to keep myself from backing out. I had a few days of peace, but it didn't last long. Now that I am post-op, I wish I hadn't spent all of my time freaking out. The worst complications that can happen usually occur early on after surgery, so as my husband says, "You can't live your life worrying about what may not even happen." I am one week out today, and despite the VERY slight annoyance on my left side (drain), I feel really good. I thought that I was happy BEFORE surgery...I can't believe how much more excited I am about life! You will all do terrific! Just be prepared for those things that your surgeon says you'll be stuck with (whether a drain, an ng-tube, staples, or steri-strips) and you'll be more able to cope. And don't forget...you'll be pretty well drugged up most of the time anyway

Hi Richelle - I've also never posted before, but you said something that I wanted to respond to. My surgery is scheduled for 7/21/04. I'm so excited that I haven't stopped to be nervous yet - but I've also believed from the beginning that this was a "God thing" for me. Meaning God loves me so much and knows that I've tried to deal with my weight, that I'm at the end of my ropes emotionally with the weight and He made a way out for me. Doesn't mean I don't still have my part to do with the eating right, etc. but now I'm going to have a super tool to help me make the right decisions. My prayer is that I'll still be relatively calm on 7/20/04!!!! Okay - enough about that! What I originally wanted to tell you was this...I was extremely nervous (actually quite a BIG Chicken!) about the blood gasses test. Heard so much horrid about it. My heart was in my throat when I saw the needle. But in all actuality - it did not hurt! Really - I was so surprised. What hurt the most was when he took the needle out. And I know you don't know me, but I'm not known to have good pain tolerance. So talk to your doctor - pray, pray, pray - and have some faith in the One that you're praying to. I'll pray for you and your doctors.

Many thanks to all of you for your warm welcome and encouraging words. Between all of the wonderful new friends that I've made here and finally meeting with my doctor yesterday to finalize everything, I am feeling much better. Believe it or not, he was kind enough to 'waive' the blood gases test for me since my pulmonology report was 100% and I've had 5 previous surgeries without one. He also answered all of my silly questions as well as my more serious ones and put me at ease very quickly. I was so grateful. Thank you, Kathy, for reminding me of what a gift this surgery really is for all of us. Many people who want/need this surgery are unable to get it because of $$ or other issues. My biggest fear in the beginning was being turned down for the surgery, and once I was approved, I started taking on new fears! I know, like you, that this is a "God thing" for me. Not only has everything worked out, even when it didn't look like it would sometimes, but just this week I found out that the $600 program fee that is charged by my doctor for the many wonderful support people/plans/meetings/etc that are available to me for free, forever, was PAID in full by my insurance company. It is the only company that pays this fee so they don't even advertise this. I was so amazed because I didn't really have the full $600 right now due to many unexpected car repairs. That's when I KNEW for sure that I was doing the right thing. I'm not even afraid of dying anymore. I wasn't really afraid of dying before, except for my 4 children being left without a mother. I was going to write letters or make a video or something, but I don't think I'm even going to do that now. I have done all the school shopping (some are still on layaway, but that's easy to send someone else to pick up), packed up the two of my kids who will be attending church camp while I'm in the hospital and recovering, ordered protein shakes online (came in only 2 days!), done a lot of grocery shopping for myself, my husband who is on Atkins, and for my kids. It's not that I'm the least bit organized, I'm just trying to think ahead a little bit. I know I've forgotten many things, but every little thing I do ahead of time will lessen the stress later. I have to return to work on Aug. 9, only 2 1/2 weeks after surgery. I'm a teacher and not being there in the beginning sets up problems for the rest of the year. So I'm determined to be there, even if I'm a little slow on my feet. Thanks again for all your support, prayers, encouragement, etc. I am very grateful to have found such wonderful new friends. I will be praying for each of you that your surgery and recovery will go well. Richelle