Feelings of Loss and Deprivation

Sometimes I get kind of down when I realize that I will have to 'diet' or watch what I eat the rest of my life. I consider myself an addictive personality. As many of you know, I am a recovering alcoholic. I haven't had a drink since October, 1982. I was also a heavy smoker. Thankfully, I was able to quit about seven years ago (of course I gained about 80 lbs.!). Anyway, sometimes I feel like my whole life is saying no to those things that I love and that (in my perception) give me comfort and make me happy. Now the realist in me tells me that those things really don't make me happy. The realist in me also tells me that instead of looking at the rest of my life, I should concentrate on these 24 hours. Does anyone else sometimes get these types of feelings? I think obesity is as much an emotional issue as it is a physical one. I'd love some feedback! Hugs, Nancy

Hi Nancy I do agree that obesity is often an emotional issue more than a physical need for food. Not always - but very often it is. Obviously it is in your case. It's good that you realize that! At the risk of sounding religious or preachy (I am a Reverend and a Christian - so I guess I can't help it LOL); for *me*, my faith is the foundation and the root of my joy and happiness. Not my cir****tances or things (including food). I really do take to heart the concept of "eat to live, not live to eat". I am maybe on the flip side of how I became obese: I wasn't addicted to food and do not have an addictive personality. I became obese eating about 1600 calories per day. I had Syndrome X/Metobolic Sydrome - which is basically a metabolism slower than molasses, in part stemming from insulin resistance, which later turned into full blown Type II diabetes. A little food went a very long extra way in adding on the extra pounds for me. My body's metabolism preferred less than 1200 calories per day and would require more than 1 hour of exercise per day to keep it fully going. Great - but not something I could keep up for a lifetime without help. Thus the RNY surgery for me. All that to say, sure, I have overeaten in my life - ate more than I should at Thanksgiving, or at a party or event, but didn't on a day-to-day basis, if anything, I probably didn't eat enough - and that would have been by downfall. Years of only eating one meal a day, only worsened my already sluggish metabolism. Throw in menopause and well....... here I am. BUT my journey to WLS was not lined with rose petals and sunshine: I suffered with depression and all sorts of ailments: and guilt. Mostly thinking I hadn't tried hard enough. There must be some diet somewhere I could do that would work. How much (or little) food were "normal"/thin people eating anyway? (since I was eating so little and still gaining weight!!!) So I had my valleys too........ BUT, I always come back to my faith in Jesus, who never leaves me. It's like the footprints in the sand poem, where during our times of trial, where instead of seeing two sets of feet print side-by-side in the sand, you only see one - it's because that's when He carries us. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 is my favorite Bible verse. Because it truly sums up how I feel: *I* can't do anything on my own; of my own strength and volition - but I can do it all through Jesus, because it's His strength that I rely on and lean on to see me through. So my question to you is Nancy: how is it that you've dealt with overcoming your alcohol and cigarette addictions? One day at a time? Then this is how you overcome your food addictions. While we can not give up food entirely, we have to make the choice daily to make the right choices and do the right thing for our health - just like giving up alcohol and cigarettes. We had WLS for our health. So when you go to grab a cookie or something you know you're not supposed to have, view it as if you were getting ready to actually eat a cigarette or consume alcohol. It's that bad for you. If your mind is wanting to play games with you - then play games right back!! Retrain your thinking to refocus your thoughts to stay on track.

Hi Nancy! I think we ALL have those moments. I call them the "pity box" moments. We are justified in standing in the box for a little while. We can't stay there long though. We have to get into the "action box" knowing that it's okay and to move forward, just like you are doing. I am so proud of you. You have a come a long way and you are a continual fighter and WINNER! You inspire me. So... take those moments you need (WE ALL NEED) in the "box," regroup and come out swinging the way you always do! Love ya! ME

Denise and Traci said it all very well. I get to feeling sorry for myself because I can't eat anything that has any dairy in it--so I get in the pity me mode. You are such an inspiration to all of us, Nancy. Hang in there and trust your higher power and you will do fine. We were told before our surgery we would have to alter our lives--guess that meant we have watch what we eat the rest of our lives. Monna

Hi Monna! You look awesome! I've been a lurker for a little while. Congrats on your successes! HUGS! ME