need to vent a little

first off if what im going to say is offensive to anyone i want to apologize before i start...... second i want to keep this entire post on myself i learned in A.A. to keep it in the I ... so here i go ........ i wanted to have weight loss surgery because i was tired of being winded i was tired of feeling depressed and not wanting to leave my house.... while i was researching it and going thru all the pre stuff all i heard is this is dangerous surgery "you know you could die" my very response was i am going to die without it so i have to give it a shot....... i am considered a lightweight with only 100 lbs to lose but still have demons like all of us seem to have....... i look upon this surgery as a do over in my life... i look at july 9th as a rebirthday. for myself.... i reached my goal in 9 months ... i refused to let my head get the best of me .... i attend support groups as regular as possible and it helps..... i also have become very aware of what i put into my body ...... i am no where near perfect and fall short sometimes but not till after i was at my goal for a while......i sometimes have to go back to square one and say to myself why did i have this surgery... its certainly not to gain weight.....i was told this is only a tool and at one point you have to make a decision to change your life...... ..i am hearing and reading posts on what did you eat and stuff like that ..... most things i read i havent even attempted to put in my mouth .....i rarely eat bread .... i havent had pasta in 2 yrs.... i miss it yes but love my new life much better.......sometimes we just have to go back to basics.... there is no way that after two years even that im even close to being able to eat what i used to ...the only difference is that i choose better things......... fruit lots of fruit....i use sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds to help with the bordum. so instead of trying to post what you ate every day try to sit back and reflect what you would be like without this precious tool that we were given...ask yourself why you had the surgery.... and think twice before you put anything in your mouth you might regret....i know it has helped me ..... ATTEND SUPPORT GROUPS...........I LOVE YOU ALL DEARLY YOU ARE MY JULY BABIES AND HATE THAT YOUR ALL STRUGGLING ........but i know for me i need to just get back to basics......i hope i didnt offend anyone.... Stacy

No offense taken... thanks for sharing your thoughts... There are definite pearls to chew on. I admire that you have conquered head hunger and are successful. The demons are mental and I continue to fight. Posting helps me not get too far out of line. I have never had the physiological effects of the surgery (dumping, throwing up, etc.) that helped many early on to refrain. I think if I didn't post I would have gained at least 30 lbs by now. I've lost 100 lbs too, and while I'd love to lose more... it's more important to me not to gain. So, I post for myself, not necessarily for others, although I do welcome constructive criticism, as you have given. Taking the time to post your thoughts, reinforces that you care, and I appreciate it. Denise P.S. -- Your loss of 100 lbs is definitely not light weight! Congrats...

i still never really hear of any attending suipport groups.... i have put one together from this site..... going to the new york board...... im not sure i was really critisizing and believe me im not perfect....... and yyour right as long as your at a stand still your not gaining which is good...... i sometimes pretend im back at day one and cant eat as much as i used to..... and sunflower and pumpkin seeds help... they have protien crunch and salt ...........be good to yourself and be happy with what ever you do ...... Stacy

Hey Stacy! Sunflower and pumpkin seeds? I hadn't thought of that... I'll have to try it. When I lived in Champaign, Illinois where I had the surgery, I had a wonderful support group. We met twice a month. The first of month was for newbies and post ops supporting newbies and the second was strictly post ops. It was wonderful. Unfortunately the physical support group in St. Louis meets at a time when I'm working. So.... I use this board and others that are little more active as my support. I wish this board was more active... but folks have gone on with their lives. What's a typical eating day for you? Do you count calories or just protein? Guess what? The scale moved again today. I'm down to 224. Hopefully, I can break below this. My 2 year doctor's appointment is on July 6 (my actual surgery birthday). On July 6 this time last year I weighed 222 exactly... It's been a year of ups and downs... the lowest 218... the highest 232. I started this journey at 326. I still have hope... Thanks again for posting... please post often... Your success and the ideas that you have used for success are most helpful. Have a great day! Denise

Hi Stacy! Nice to see you here.... I appreciate the sentiment of what you say in your post. First of all, I just want to say that this board IS my support group. I know you are posting to offer help, but it kind of comes off as "What you're doing isn't as good as what I'm doing". There was a post here a couple of weeks ago saying basically the same thing as you're saying. I think sometimes we lose sight that obesity is a disease just like alcoholism and other addictive behaviours. I have been obese off and on my whole life, and as I've said before, with drinking and smoking, I am able to abstain. With food, you have to eat, so the temptation is always there. As with other addictive diseases, some people struggle more than others. I need to journal every day and post what I've eaten and what I plan to eat every day in order to be successful in getting to my goal. I would NEVER tell you not to do what makes you successful, and as I said, I know you didn't mean to offend, but I found your post just a titch self-righteous. I rarely eat bread and haven't had pasta since my surgery either, but I still struggle sometimes because I am an addict. Have you been able to stop smoking? I guarantee you if I was still smoking, I would be at goal...we all make choices my friend, and I think not smoking is doing more for my health than that elusive 15 lbs to goal. I don't mean to offend either Stacy ~ you know I love ya, but it annoys me when people pop in to MY SUPPORT GROUP in order to criticize..... Hugs, Nancy 167 -113 lbs.

Nancy..... I couldn't agree more with what you say. I think it is very important to remember that all of us in the beginning phases of our surgery were given different food lists to go off of as well. Pasta was on my food list. My doctor's focus was not you can't have this, it's have your protein first and if there's room have a bite or two of something else. This to is my support group and I have to come out and say if you don't like what we are posting about.........ignore it and move along. I honestly feel that when people come here and tell us we are all wrong that is the same dang judgment WE ALL faced as obese people. I was tired of it then, and I'm tired of it now. I have never been a smoker or a drinker but do I judge those that are? No. But am a food addict and as with any addict you always will be. Maybe my demons caught up with me quicker than some, so be it. I'm doing my best to battle them. But don't sit there and judge me, you have no right! This board is for support........not judgment. Michelle

in no way shape or form am i critisizing anyone .. OR JUDGEING.... i am a recovering heroin addict and alcoholic as well as anything else that would take me away from myself..... if demons are your problem i mean most of us were able to lose 100 lbs... how did we do that???? all im saying is lets all continue what we did to lose that 100 lbs.... i definetly fall short sometimes im not saying im perfect but i go back to day one when people were telling me i was going to die.... reality is without wls i would have eated a bullet had one been available....... whats making us depressed ??? if we are turning to food the logical thing is to find out where that is coming from and fix it .... i was in therapy for a long time to battle ALLLLLLL my addictions...this board is wonderful it helped me and it still helps me but i need more ..... i started up a support group with peoplel from tyhe new yyork board and my surgeons group... i still attend A.A. meetings without them id be dead....without this surgery and my wls support group i would be dead.....so if thats judgeing so be it....... Stacy

I'm not going to go around and around with this Stacy - I'm not with you on this one. You can say that you're not judging, but Stacy, it's sure coming off that way. Being a recovering addict I would think you'd be a lot more aware of the stuggles that addicts go through, and what works for some people doesn't work for others, and MOST people slip more than once. Given your background, I have to say I'm really surprised at your attitude. You say: "if demons are your problem i mean most of us were able to lose 100 lbs... how did we do that????" The answer is: by having surgery! We physically couldn't eat what we used to. You also say: "yes we need to eat so why not eat the right things is all im saying." If I was able to just eat the right things, I wouldn't have had to have the surgery.... As they say all over this board, they did surgery on the stomach, not the brain. If judging people who haven't been as successful as you helps you, then you go girl.... 'Nuff said...I'm done.

your acting like this was a direct attack on you nance and well if thats how you feel then maybe you should take a look at it..... just so you know it wasnt an attack on anyone...... and i know you can do it **** you gave up the other stuff...all im saying is think back when you were first contimplating surgery...... and how you would feel right now if you were back there.....you know a drink could kill you so why cant you use the same tool for the bad foods we eat??? thats all im saying not saying im better not judgeing just trying to understand thats all Stacy

All I'm saying is that I FEEL that this was a criticism of the people who are posting their plans for the day and what they ate the day before - of whom I am one. Honestly Stacy, what does it matter to you what people are doing to achieve their individual goals? Why knock people who are honestly trying? You continue to say you're not judging or criticizing, but people are TELLING YOU that they feel judged and criticized and you're not getting it. I consider myself highly successful in my weight loss journey - I've lost about 12 lbs. since I started doing the More to Lose posts, so that's working for me. You're talking down to me like I'm a child and I find it offensive. I'm not the only one you've upset Stacy, so perhaps YOU should take a look at YOURSELF instead of telling the people that you offended to take a look at themselves. Why is it that WE all have to look at ourselves and go to therapy and to your definition of support groups just because that's what you do? Complacency can be a very dangerous thing Stacy..... No one berates you because you don't journal or participate in the More to Lose thread. We understand that you get your strength elsewhere and we're happy for you. Once again I'll relate it to smoking. I don't know if you've been able to quit, but I do know you've struggled with it in the past. I was able to quit cold turkey on my first try after 30-odd years of nearly two packs a day (by the Grace of God). All I'm saying is that while I was able to do it, I wouldn't tell you that you shouldn't use a patch or nicotine gum, etc. You do whatever it takes to help you quit. Remember when you're pointing the finger there's three pointing back at you..... Perhaps it's time to lock this thread..... N.