OFFICIALLY TTC

Okay, gang...I'm OFFICIALLY trying to have baby #2. Met with the fertility doctor today and he has drawn up a plan of action, which involves lots of bloodwork, funky fallopian tube tests, and clomid. Amazingly enough, my insurance will cover all of the diagnostic work and even covered the clomid. I know, I know, I'm not anywhere near goal. And while I won't even consider trying to lose weight (assuming I do get pregnant), I still plan on participating on the healthy eating lifestyle that I've struggled so hard to stick with. Maybe I'll do even BETTER with another life inside of me! At any rate, I'll still be around. I know I don't have to explain myself to you guys...but here are some answers to questions that you MIGHT have cross your mind at some point. Like, why not wait until goal? When I had WLS, I had hoped to be down to 200 by my 18 month mark. THEN, I would work on the next baby, possibly losing more weight before I actually became pregnant. Well, 18 months came and went and I wasn't at 200. I won't be there for my 2 year anniversary, either. Close, but not quite there. And as you ALL know, the weight loss thing hasn't been easy on me, not even early on. I may NEVER make it to goal, NEVER make it below 200. And I figure that if I'm losing MAYBE 1 lb a month right now, I STILL won't be down to 200 in a year...so I might as well have a baby. Sure, I could kick it into high gear (read: starve myself) and hope to reach that ever elusive goal, but I've been TRYING since January to get into and stay in that high gear. Obviously, I failed. What OTHER reasons do I have for not waiting? My daughter will be 8 this fall. That's a pretty big age gap, don't you think? She'll be nearly 9 (or older) when she has a sibiling. I don't really want to put it off any longer. PLUS, I'm not getting any younger. I'll be 31 soon. In only 4 short years, my age will play a big role in a whole host of things, including ability to become pregnant AND fetal health. Why take the risk? I guess I'm posting this more for myself than anything. Writing helps me. Writing is my therapist. Believe me, this "can't lose weight/might gain weight" thing sort of freaks me out. But just seeing my reasons on paper (okay, the computer screen) proves to me that a temporary hiatus is worth having the second child I've been dreaming of for so long. I'll keep you guys updated, mostly through the "More to Lose" posts where I plan to continue to participate so that I may achieve and maintain a healthy pregnancy. Wish me luck! And thanks for everything you have done for the last two years! Without you guys, this journey would have been a lonely, scary one! Pamela -134 sometimes

Pam, Good luck on you adventure I hope that it works out for you and you have a wonderful and easy pregnancy. When it happens. Mike

Congratulations Pamela! I wish you all the best. Teah

Fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you Pamela!! I hope you get pregnant quickly. You know what, life does need go on after our surgery whether we make goal or not. I took Clomid in order to conceive my first and five months after he was born I surprisingly and naturally conceived my second - so watch out!!! Please keep us posted. It will be nice to have another little July baby baby.... Hugs, Nancy

Hi Pam! Congrats on your decision! I wish you all the best. But considering that someday I too want another child (which would make at least 18 years between my oldest and youngest - man am I crazy or what??) LOL I can completely understand. So just do what you can to eat healthy and good luck girl - you deserve it!!! Michelle

Way to go, Pamela. For all the reasons you outlined, I think it makes lots of sense. I can't wait to be cheering on another July baby having a baby... Good Luck - and I'm sending vibes that it happens in no time flat! Irene

Pamela, you don't owe anyone any explanations at all. Your life is yours and you deserve a baby no matter how much weight you lost, didn't lose, still want to lose, whatever! I struggled with ttc#1 for 6+ years and I know how hard it is. (shocked that your insurance company covered clomid by the way ;) ) Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and I hope its a short road to pregnancy for you and an uneventful happy 9 months! You have alot to be proud of, you've lost 134lbs, imagine a pregnancy still at that old weight! Hold your head high and know that you've done a great job and you've made a better life for yourself and your new baby to come! Best wishes, Deejay