Follow up to yesterday....

First off I would like to offer congrats to the people that reponded yesterday. Denise, Pamela & Nancy. Great job on the weight loss so far and any other demons you may have over come in your lifetime. I want to clear something up. Iwasn't saying that there is one way to approach this lifestyle for everyone. I was making an observation and offering some opinions. I also want to say that I don't eat 10 meals and 10 snacks aday. I know it came off that way. I eat about 10 times a day depending on the amount of exercise that day. What I call a meal some call a snack. I understand that this is a struggle, it took me years to get to the point that I needed to take this step. When I did I was ready. I understand compulsive eating, I did it. I understand closet eating, I did it. I also understand that everyday is a struggle, When you go to a family gathering and there is all kind of food there that looks soo good but you can't have it because it might have sugar in it. Some of us don't have a problem with sugar. Some of us are eating cake and candy. Some of us are able to handle small amounts of those foods. I don't know if I can and I choose not to. The reason being is that I live everyday thinking that I'm 1 hershey kiss away from 500lbs. I understand the need to journal what your eating. I did it in the beginning I also now how easy it is to fake it too. You know the thinking that if I don't write it down I didn't eat it. I did that when Iwas working with a Nutrtionist a couple of years before my surgery. I do think that any weight that has been lost by us is a success, but the question that I ask myself sometimes is how many of us have used this surgery to make a lifestyle change and not just a way to lose some weight. Have we maxmised this tool to it's full potential. I don't know, I guess that's up to each of us to decide for ourselves. I would like my help and support to any of the people on this board. I do tend to get preachy sometimes. I don't think that I'm better than anyone I've been there I've made most of the excuses if not all of them. I understand what it's like to struggle with weight. Everyone of us was given a tool to use and put on a path to follow almost 2 years ago. Along the way there have been bumps and detours did you throw in the towel, resort to tthe guilt trips say "Today is shot there is always tomorrow." I like to think that we need to live for today because tomorrow never comes. Well I think I've talked enough. Mike

Mike, I read your previous post and here are my comments. As you say we are each one bite away from returning to our old habits and many continue to struggle. We need to lend our support to their struggle. Each of our bodies is different and each Bariatric program is different. I have lost 255 lbs going from 415 to 160. I exercise approx. 3 hrs a day, however, I eat 3 meals per day, which is compromised of lean protein and complex carbs and if I have a snack I make it protein. I weigh myself each morning; I keep my scale in the kitchen as a reminder that I am accountable to the numbers on that scale. This is what works for me. If I eat white/simple carbs I am like a heroin addict....I am sure you get the picture. Abstinence is the only way for me to live. I have noted that those that post there meal plans are early in the day and are not posting really what they have eaten (therefore, what their true calorie intake per day can be much higher). I can understand your concern, however, if you have followed the daily posts you would see that many are having trouble sticking to their eating plan. Head hunger, emotional and stress eating being much of the culprits. I would sincerely doubt if the truth were told anyone on this board is eating 400 calories. In addition, many do not expend the calories you do in an extensive exercise program. Remember this all boils down to calories in versus calories out. We all struggle with our old demons day in and day out. I am a compulsive over eater and can revert to my old ways in a blink of an eye. Here by the grace of God go I. Mary

Hi Mary: I had a revelation from your post. Here's my problem, I AM A WHITE/SIMPLE CARBS ADDICT!! There... I've said it... So where's a 12 step support group when you need one! I think you're right abstinence is probably the only way. Now, if I can just get my mind and body around this absolute fact. Have a great day!! Denise

Denise, There is a 12 step program for food addicts http://www.oa.org/index.htm. You will find the 12 steps and traditions on this website. Remeber 1 step/moment at a time is the key to staying on track. You may be interesting in joining one of the local groups. Keep in mind that food is our drug of choice. Mary

Hi Mike, I was reading your post yesterday and although I did not comment I and found it very interesting. Getting through this journey does mean being brutally honest with yourself. I took a look at the calorie calculator and it said to maintain my current weight, I should be eating 2400 calories and to lose weight I should eat 1800. I've heard the story about eating too few calories and I definitely know what can happen when eating too many calories. I think i'd been averaging 1200 to 1500 calories and for the several months we've been posting my weight has been plus/minus a few pounds but has always gone back to 183. Then I stopped counting the calories and tried to just eat healthy, but still my weight has been stable. I'm not complainng, because I'd rather be stable than gaining. But how do you determine the right number of calories for you. I'd hate to start eating 1800 calories a day only to find that I am still not losing, but gaining. When I last talked to my nutritionist she said don't focus on calories, just make good food choices. That sure helped me a lot... I've been listening to my body and its been saying eat a snack, its ok, yet still I don't lose. Then if I don't indulge in the snack, the mental battle is brutal. I know that if i want to lose, I have to get snacking under control. I haven't had very many problems with tolerating what I eat. My greatest fear is gaining the weight back, I never want to be where I was before. But if my body is constantly going back to this one number, maybe it is telling me that 183 is a good weight for me (although I still think its too high). But exercise may be the key for me. No matter how hard I try though, I can't muster up the energy or time to work out. This weightloss journey is definitely hard work. Thanks for the post, I am definitely rethinking my plan of attack. Teah

Hi Mike: Thanks for your insightful posts... I'm thrilled that it has generated more discussion on our July babies board. I checked out the website you posted and I was also thrilled with it. According to the waist-hip ratio, I'm not doing so bad after all... It says I should be eating around 2200 calories to lose. Funny thing is that makes sense somewhat. I recall one of my doctors long before the surgery saying that I should eat 10 times what I weigh to lose weight to keep my body from thinking I'm starving it. I may try this for a week and see what happens... what have I got to lose!! HA HA!!! Have a fantastic day and thanks for bringing life back our board. Denise

HI everyone. Mike I do the same as you. I eat something small every 2-3 hours to keep my metabolism going (this was my dr's suggestion). It does work for me. But, I think it is important to remember that every person and every "body" is different. Metabolic rate differs in each person. Some of us have a higher metabolism than others do, hence the rate of which we have lost weight and what we are currently losing. Other's have a tendency to gain it quicker too. I think it is important to not judge others. No one here can predict or pretend to know each person's lifestyle and the emotional triggers that they deal/struggle with. We are all unique and our needs and demons are different. If you (meaning the person reading this post) are one of those people who claim to have been able to make this lifestyle change and don't slip, then my hat is off to you. I however can admit that I am far from perfect and ever changing. I start each day off with the "I can do this" attitude and some days I'm very successful. But I can also admit there are days that aren't so good, but I do not beat myself up over it, I just dust myself off and try again. But just because there are those who are still learning to make that change or needing to tweak their changes slightly does not make them any less successful than any one else or mean that they haven't used the tool to it's potential. That is the reason we come here. We find strength in our peers who are going through similar issues. I think that in itself is a positive thing. And realistically, what does it matter at this point? If we haven't used our tool to its maximum potential is there anything we can do about it now? Nope, just move forward and continue down the road to success, even if it takes us a little bit longer than others. To everyone on this board, be proud of all you have accomplished and WILL continue to accomplish with the love and support of your fellow July Baby Losers! Michelle

Excellent post, Michelle. I feel very much as you do - we are all so much alike, yet so very different. I too am a white / simple carb / sugar (guess that's white and carb) addict. I truly believe that abstinence is the only way to deal with it, but I've never been able to be 100% compliant. As far as my alcohol/drugs/tobacco background, I was able to (with the grace of God) remain abstinent from those things, but with food ~ well, you have to eat, so it makes it that much harder. My biggest, most concerning problem is stopping once I've started. I can go all day without eating and not have a problem with cravings, but once I ingest something solid - even protein - I start craving and all I can think about is eating. Once work settles down, I'm going to see about therapy. I'm still learning a lot about myself - that's what life is. I'm on a constant quest to better myself, find balance and be happy, healthy and content. For the most part, I do the best I can, as I know we all do. Thanks again Mike, for an interesting subject. Hugs, Nancy

I wasn't honest with myself for a long time after surgery. Why did I REALLY eat? I always said that it had to do with the taste of food, pure and simple. After two years, I've realized that I have serious issues with food, and there is nothing simple about those issues! I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm stressed. I binge eat when I'm angry (as if eating is getting revenge on whoever or whatever I'm mad at). I eat compulsively because I'm always worried that if I don't fini**** off, it won't be there later. And so on and so on... I'd like to think that although I am not 100% perfect in my lifestyle, I am a far sight better off than most normal weight individuals. I exercise regularly, never smoke, rarely drink. Most of the time, I am choosing healthy foods in healthy portion sizes. I am very proactive with my health, keeping up with doctor and dentist appointments (and those of my daughter and hubby, too!). My daughter is making healthier choices now and also exercises with me at times. If I am honest with myself, I'd have to say that yes, I have made a lifestyle change. And although I haven't reached my goal weight, I have been able to accomplish my goals. Sure, my lifestyle still needs tweaking...but whose doesn't? We're human and Americans (well, most of us), living in the land of plenty. It's definitely not an overnight process! And Mike, there's nothing wrong with what you said today or yesterday. We all have our own ideas, and it's just fine to share them, even if no one agrees 100%. And even if no one agrees today, they might just change their minds tomorrow! Cheers! Pamela

i find nothing wrong with your post you obviously have had a lot of success with this and can offer some support.....i always tell newcomers that this a tool we are reciveing a do over if you dont use it correctly IT WONT WORK.....dont be shyed away from offering support or speaking your opinion!!!! i worked hard at this surgery since day one reached my personal goal in 9 months and have been maintaining ever since....... the reason most dont lose or consider themselves slow losers is because they arent using the tool correctly..... and using the tool correctly is also attending regular support groups..... not just getting your stomach re routed and boom thats it your skinny ...unfortunetly it doesnt work like that...... keep up the support most dont have any other then this board Stacy