Feeling Comfortable in Our Own Skin

Many of us have hidden behind our fat for one reason or another for a long time. Even if we don't realize it consciously, we use our fat to avoid sexual attention, to remove ourselves from social situations, to give ourselves an excuse for not fulfilling our potential in life. As we lose that protection of social invisibility, we have to take a hard look at what we are hiding from and why? Those of us who use it to hide from sexual attention, have often been victims of sexual abuse of some type at some point in our lives. As we lose the fat and start receiving attention from the opposite sex, it often leaves us feeling very vulnerable and exposed. At this point many start trying to sabotage their weight loss because it is much safer to be invisible. We are so used to our invisibility that the new attention, both sexually and socially, can be unnerving to say the least. For those who have been overweight their whole lives it may be the first time they have ever experienced this kind of attention. It is going to take some time to learn how to handle it. Most of us eventually learn to smile and say thank you graciously. Others, say, "Oh no, I am still fat" or roll their eyes. Another small but visible group let it go to their head and become very promiscuous, trying to make up for lost time. How are you going to handle it? It takes practice but we can all learn to smile and graciously say thank you. In time, we will learn to see ourselves as others do, the beautiful emerging butterfly. None of us emerge from the cocoon of Morbid Obesity unscathed. We all carry the scars of the emotional wounds that we have sustained. How we heal those wounds will determine our future. 07/08/03 272/140/135

Mary: What a wonderful posting. Here's hoping we all find our own way to fly! Rhonda

Mary...well said! I find myself experiencing feelings I long ago tucked away. But "deal" I will and survive I am! Celebrating a first year anniversary, minus all the health issues of one year ago. High Blood Pressure (meds) Sleep Apnea (CPAP machine) High Cholesterol (meds) Cellulitis (several times in late 2002 and 2003) Edema etc. you get the picture...ALL resolved! 244/126 minus 118 pounds, just a few more to goal! Ann N.

I can relate...the funny thing is for so long I hid from attention and also secretly resented everyone for not noticing me. I am 26, almost 3mos out and have lost 72lbs. Last weekend I went to a rock concert (festival of sorts) and was getting a lot of looks. Of course being me I felt like something was wrong...why are people staring at me? Then it hit me, I am no longer invisible. I have mixed emotions to say the least but am in counseling. Life is a work in process and I am ready for it.