Eating now....... while I can.

So, I had the lapband in 2005 and lost 100 lbs, but it had to be removed in 2008 due to erosion. I remember when I had it taken out, all I wanted to do was eat the things that I had missed so much, that I wasn't able to eat when I had the band in. Needless to say, while making up for lost time, I gained all my weight back. I got approved for a revision (bypass), about three months sooner than I expected. It is all coming so fast, I have surgery scheduled tor June 21st. I know I will have to go on a liquid diet for 10 days before surgery. So I've been obsessing about eating all the things I know I won't be able to eat later. It's like I want to get it all now, cuz I have an idea of what things won't digest like they will now. Like red meat, bread, pasta, french fries, fried chicken. Ya know.. all the unhealty make you fat foods. I have promised myself that I would never make the mistake of gaining it back again...... but this head game is driving me crazy. Am I the only one that wants to "bulk up" before I know I can't do it anymor?. It's a mind set that scares me half to death. Am I heading down a road of disappointment all over again? Am I wasting my time getting this surgery? I truely don't want to make this same mistake twice.... and it wasn't until today that I asked myself.... wtf is the matter with you? I truely am a food addict! I have very unhealthy thoughts about food, and I only hope I have learned my lesson about changing my life style with this new revision surgery. Does anybody have any comforting advice? ,...... .I'm a lil scurd!

 The week before I started my pre-op diet I thought I might go crazy and eat what I know I shouldn't be eating, but I've been eating well for months now and it wasn't as bad as I thought.  I had a Mexican dinner with enchiladas, breans, rice and guacamole for dinner one night, no tortillas.  I thought I wanted to have doughnuts or candy, but I had Atkin's Endulge Bar in chocolate coconut and it satisfied those cravings.  And you know what, I didn't mess up real bad and didn't get off track and get on the rollercoaster of carb blood sugar spikes.  You will still be able to eat food similar to your favorites, you just have to work to make them into healthy versions.  

You must change your mindset---you are NOT being deprived of the foods you love but making adaptations towards a healthier lifestyle and healthier way of eating.  French fries?  Sure, you can slice up a sweet potato, spray it with cooking spray or olive oil and a sprinkling of kosher salt, bake until crispy and you have your fries, in a healtheir version.  Fried chicken?  OMG fried chicen comes second to this recipe I know of where you pound a chicken breast flat, grill it, then top with a mixture of sauted peppers, onions & mushrooms, then put the veggies over the chicken, top with pepper jack cheese, melt in the oven...and yum!  There are so many healtier versions of foods.  I've found a lot of good recipes from the people who are on this website!  Like the key lime cheesecake made with sugar free jello instead of condensed milk.  YUM!

Maybe you should talk to a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.  The psychologist  with your bariatric center would be a start if you liked her/him.  If you don't get it taken care of now then after a year or so when you can eat more and malabsorbsion is gone you will be back where you are now and when you had the band off.

I am right with you.  I am scurd, too  I am a food addict.   It is very hard to consciously stop an addiction with a major surgery. (like we are doing)  You are going to have doubts and sabotage yourself but just remember you are not hurting anyone but you.  I have to lose 15 lbs before my  surgery.. It is killing me.   You are not wasting your time and you don't want to bulk up.  You have to be smaller, so you can have a healthy surgery.  You will die if you don't have the surgery, especially if you binge eat.   I have a friend who is 450lbs and I could just as easily be there. I am just waiting for him to die.   I had to stop this cycle of hurting myself.  I would suggest you contact a counselor and a nutritionist.  I started going to this therapist that works at a practice that focuses on eating disorders.  I originally thought it was for skinny people.  People with anorexia and so forth, but there is more heavier people there than skinny.   There is so many people with these issues.  You are not alone.  All of us are having the same issues and concerns, but we need to focus on what we will be able to do.  I will be able to dance and tie my shoes.  It is worth not having a chocolate strawberry sundae in a chocolate dipped waffle bowl from Diary Queen ever again. 

Good luck !!!!!

Thanks soooo very much for all of your replies! I'm so glad that I'm not alone! James..... everything you say is right on!..... Thank you thank you thank you!
Good luck to you all on your journey to happiness and being helthy!
(((hugs)))

you can do it.