Barbara,

First off... I think we all struggle and all slip from time to time.  So don't feel alone with this battle.  The key is to recognize it and then put yourself back on track.  It sounds like you have done that.... you are reaching out for support and you are correcting yourself and moving on.

I know I am struggling as well.  Being pregnant and all the hormonal changes going on there are times I just want to eat all my old comfort foods.  Chips, Carbs, and all the wrong things.  Plus my appetite has changed now and I seem to want more food.  So I keep hoping it is all the hormones and after the baby is born things will get back to normal.  But it is a BIG fear.  The last thing all of us want is to go back to the way we were.

I hope this helps to know you are not alone.... and please keep posting.  We all are here to help and we are all interested in what is going on with our fellow Junesters!!

Take care,
Sherri

I have struggled with whether to share this or not. I don't want people to think badly of me. I absolutely am not interested in being berated or flamed. I do a good enough job of beating myself up. I decided to share this because I think that we have demons that we are fighting at one point or another and I hope that in sharing my own failure and fear that it will help someone else know that they are not alone and that together, we can conquer and learn to manage our weight and the triggers that threaten our weight loss and/or maintenance.

Many of you have known me for a while already know this. Those who are new may not. I struggle with and often succumb to severe, dibilitating Major Clinical Depression. You may notice that at times, I don't post as much. When I'm struggling, I tend to answer posts more and my answers may be very short ... sometimes people mistake this for my being upset with them, but it's that I'm struggling to think and function.

At any rate, as for most folks these days, life is stressful and when you add stress to depression, it makes a nasty combination.

I scared myself yesterday. I was in meltdown mode, crying off and on all day. I had made some cinnamon toast and hot tea for my daughter. I had a small piece. No problem. It's okay. But later, I when meltdown occurred, I had two, count them, two slices of challah cinnamon toast. It was like I was standing outside of myself having an out of body experience as I watched in terror at the old me and my old 'coping' mechanisms in full swing... It was terrifying and I couldn't, wouldn't stop. I just melted further into a deeper puddle of tears with the desperation, anger and guilt that surrounded my unteathered actions. I was amazed at how 'easily' I was able to gobble down the toast and how much I was able to consume. Of course, I didn't come close to dumping.

I was able to get myself stitched back together and I made better choices during most of the rest of the day, but the shear force of the urge to 'comfort' myself with food and then following through as I did, terrifies me and with good reason, I think. I don't want to end up where I was and I know that it's a slippery slope that I fell on. I've picked myself up and am in the process of trying to clean myself up and get back on firmer ground.

About a month ago I had emergency surgery for what turned out to be a petersen hernia and adhesions.  Started feeling better, was back at work for nearly 2 weeks, then relapsed.  Had another surgery a week ago today.  She found the original hernia flipped over on itself choking off blood vessels and a band of adhesions choking off part of my large colon.  I had planned to go back to work today, but started hurting again yesterday.  Today...naseaus when I eat, a few dizzy spells, headache, pain in the right side again (not as bad as before).  Needless to say, I didn't go back. 

Anyone else had an experience like this?  Trying to decide if I'm over-reacting (I am a wimp), or expecting too much too soon.  I do see the dr tomorrow afternoon. 

Looking for any words of wisdom.

Thanks for listening!!

Jeannie

Alice,

Crystal is soooo right. The biggest difference between people who maintain their weight and those who don't is that when people who maintain their weight go off the deep end once in a while, it's a once in a while thing. They dust themselves off, make the appropriate adjustments and lose the couple of pounds they put on before it gets out of hand. 'l'll bet that there are plenty of folks that over indulge a bit during the holidays. The good thing is that you recognized the over indulgence, you are taking actions to ensure that you aren't going to continue the over indulgence and you can take corrective actions to manage any damage you might have done before it gets out of hand. You can do this.

Hang in there!

Barb

Here I am!  I haven't been coming to OH very often at all.  Work has gotten in the way.  How is everyone doing?  I hope all has been wonderful for everyone! 

Crystal....how are you doing after your surgery?  Feeling better?

I've  been dealing with the unconscious eating thing, especially when I'm under stress at work....unfortunately, the vending machine is too close.  But, I've started dealing better as of the last couple of weeks....I got my butt back to the gym.  FINALLY....it feels great!  I've just decided to start focusing on myself more rather than work all the time.

Well, I'm in a hotel in Mankato, MN right now.  Worked out, had a protein bar, now I think it's time to jump in the pool for a few laps.

Thanks for thinking of me and hope you all have a FABULOUS day!

Love ya ALL!

Pam  (oh yeah, and I haven't even taken my year picture)  Shame  on me I  know!