I'm so frustrated

I'm so frustrated with myself. I seem to have lost my way. I had my surgery in June of 2007 and lost 90 pounds. I worked hard, was thrilled with the progress and am happy to report that my health improved tremendously. I no longer have diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholestrerol...however, I haven't lost any weight in a year. For awhile I remained pretty constant at my weight but recently I've noticed the scale climbing. I'm scared, and disgusted with myself. I don't want to head down that dark road again and I know what I have to do but can't seem to motivate myself. I know this surgery was an effective tool to get me back on track but as we all know, only the body goes into surgery...no quick fix for the brain or our own self destructive tendencies. I had my surgery at the same time as two of my close friends. They have been hugely successful! They've both lost over 100 pounds, had plastic surgery and look fabulous. I am delighted for them and proud of their progress...but you can imagine the feeling of failure for me...especially with their success staring me in the face and reminding me that it can be done. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I will try to get back on track before I slide any further. Wish me luck!

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!  You lost 90 pounds !!!! You have conquered your co morbidities. a My goodness My Dear.. you are a success.  A little clitch is not a failure.. It will come back to you..
 Goodluck to you.  And please keep us posted on here.  I know we don't often respond, but like mysself I know that there are others that read this forum.. and really do care.  Alice

Thanks for responding, Alice. It may sound silly but sometimes I feel so very alone in my struggles. I need to get my mind into a better place. Your pep talk made me smile.
Take care.
Diane

You are not alone in your struggles. 

I have lost 120 pounds and hit a stall that has lasted 12 months.  On the positive side, I don't take the 8 prescriptions that I did and I didn't gain any of it back.  I have 90 pounds to go to hit my surgeons level.  Will I make it, I am not sure.  I do know that I am healthier than I was when I had my surgery in 06/07.  My quality of life is so much better.   I have resolved that even if I don't get the additional 90 pounds off, I was successful and I am happy with my results.  I am a solid size 18, which I have not seen since college 20 years ago, but I am no longer a size 30/32. 

Huggs to you.

WIsh you the best

Pam

Sounds like a common thing.  At my 1 year appointment I had lost 110lbs and have not lost any weight since.  On the up side, I have not gained any weight in the past year.  I still have 38 lbs to go before I have my excess skin on my stomach removed.  I just started going to weigh****chers.  They have an at work program. My company reimburses me for it.  I figured it will help me and keep me accountable.  The first week I lost 3.5 lbs.  The second week I gained .25 lbs.  Today I stayed the same.  Didn't get my exercise in last week like I should have,.  It is frustrating to no end.  I talked to the exersice guy and nutritionist at my doctor's office - they have advised 1200 calories, exercise before I eat.  Try to walk 60 to 90 minutes a day and begin strenght training 3 days a week.  This is what my goal is for April. 

Diane - keep in touch - together we can encourage each other and reach our goals together.

Delores

oh Diane, please know that i believe i feel exactly as you do. my sister had surgery a whole year after me and has lost 120 lbs and is currently standing in front of me in a baggy size 4. i am so very happy for her but i feel crammed into my clothes and my girdle i have to wear to contain all my tummy skin is pinching my side.
and she's making dinner, which she will eat a few bites of, and i will want to devour a whole plate, because, i'm just that hungry.
so we arent where we wanted to be. but, we are successes in medical terms right? no meds, no high blood pressure, diabetes! that's a huge success.. lets say u gain all your weight back and have to go back through all your diabetes crap, sleep apnea? you'd give your left arm to be back to that 90 lbs thinner.
right? i get so upset about myself a lot of times, but u know, i'm not considered the fat girl in the room anymore. i dont have to sleep with an embarrassing sleep apnea machine anymore.

we do have food demons, and i bet you have a ton of emotional eating issues as i do. hang on to the successes you do have. dont let your ideals get in the way of your contentedness.
there are groups for post ops that deal with emotional eating. and i will be starting my class with a post op psychologist in may. i'm looking forward to it. there's gotta be a way to change our fat brains and hearts. if there's any way at all, collect cans to pay for it! : but please, call the psychologist associated with your bariatric center.i have heard nothing but ultra positive, life changing stories from people who did serious mental work with theirs.

that's really all i have to offer, but i noticed there were a ton of reads and very little replies.
something i do too.... is, write down how much u weigh on a piece of paper Every Morning and put it on your fridge. i dont care if i cried myself to sleep with some pizza, the next morning, i write down my weight. that way, 20 lbs can absolutely not creep up on me. i have an absolute highest weight i will allow myself. if i get up there,for a couple days i will boost the hell outta my protein (think nectar protein, omg so good) and move around the house doing my chores at a faster pace. and i'm back to my normal.. (which i'm still not happy with) but hey, we do have to hold on to our successes and take serious steps to control the fat brain, and 30 mins of some heart pumping movement a day.

okay that was long.
we all love you. we all love eachother here. you are so not alone and i do understand. we are all in it together, lets stick together.
xo

Your timing for responding to my post couldn't have been more perfect. I've been feeling pretty down on myself lately. I have been gaining...up 15 pounds from my lowest weight. I have to put the brakes on and FAST! Your comments made me smile and I feel less alone in my "boat"! I should focus on the success of my journey...I just don't want to go back where it all began. I wold love to do some post op therapy but insurance won't cover it. I'll look into it though. Maybe I can find a group somewhere and just pay the freight!
Thanks for the kind words, encouragement and love.
Diane

glad i could help! you'll get that 15 lbs off. keep the carbs outta the house :) i work at a fast food joint! hah! it's sooo hard being around burgers all day, and, it's so sad seeing morbidly obese ppl come in and biggie size all their food.... but, it's okay because they get a diet pepsi :/

the psychologist associated with my bariatric center does a 6 week course that costs $250. that's what i'm going to. my insurance doesnt pay for crrrrrrrap! but, i figure this is a steal. hopefully ur bariatric center can refer you to a good doc who does the same thing.

but otherwise if there is nothing, support groups rock!  and their free!)
the dedicated members who go faithfully are such a help, really.

i'm excited for you about getting back on track :)