problems with family support

hi everyone,

I haven't been on the board in a long time. It seems like when I have a problem I come to you all. Sorry about that. I have been having problem with my husband and his support tactics. I know that there will be times that I am not perfect when it comes to staying on the wagon (such as Christmas time). I watch out how much I eat extra. and I make myself very aware of it. Then when Christmas is over, I go back on the wagon. I eat good food, it is just when the cookies and candy comes out I partake in it. I am talking one day. My son got a box of his favorite chocolates and I had 2 pieces of it. When I went to get my second piece, my husband just rolled his eyes and shook his head, very obviously in front of everyone. Use to, I would have ate the whole box. He doesn't see that I am doing it in moderation; he just thinks I should be absolutely perfect in everything that touches my mouth. I know I am not suppose to eat sweets, but I feel like if I am in control at Christmas then I can cheat a little. Am I completely wrong or what? My husband's idea of support is trying to catch me cheating so he can say, "you know you are not suppose to be eating that!" He says it in crowds. (I was at a banquet and I got a scoop of pudding). I don't go out that often. Our church has banquets maybe 2-3 times a year; there is Thanksgiving, and there is Christmas. I just wish there was a better way for him to support me, but he doesn't know how. I have not gained weight. I have stayed at the same weight. I feel I look pretty good, and I sure don't want to get back where I was. Any advice?

Hi Elisa, I am glad you come to us!!! Cause I come to "us" too!!! As far as you eating a cookie here or there or a couple pieces of chocolates......I have done the same thing. We are human and we should be able to have a little something once in a great while. I am not sure how the others feel on here but I am still alive and if I want to enjoy a little something once in a great while (like a small scoop of pudding) well gosh darn it I am going to enjoy it and have it! My doctor when I first started out told me this surgery was to help me and it has it has helped me realize that I dont' need to eat the whole bowl of pudding or the whole box of chocolates or the whole dozen of cookies.....but to do everything with discretion and in moderation! As far as your dear hubby goes tell him to back off LOL...it sounds like to me that you have your head on your shoulders and are very much aware of what you eat and how much you eat, you are doing fine girl!!!! ((((((((((((((((big ole' hug))))))))))) to you!!!!

Crystal,

Thanks for your response and support. I have been trying to explain to him how I feel and I could not have said it better than the way you did. Since my stroke, I get upset easily when trying to explain something, because sometimes I can't get the right words out. If nothing else, I will print it out and let HIM read it! LOL Anyway thanks for cheering me up and your great support.

Elisa

I agree, Crystal said it all. 

I also have problems with family support.  My husband still wants, greasy, high fat high calorie food.  His mom lives with us and is the same way.  She is old school and wants potatoes with every meal.  She made him fresh polish sausage, fried of course, he wanted mac and cheese to go with it, she also fried potatoes, fried cabbage and green beans with fried bacon and onions.  (see a theme?)  They both got mad because I would not eat what was on the table.  She got mad because all the leftovers, I threw out.  She claimed she wasn't cooking any more.  HA, back at it the next night. 

They both have high cholesteral, high blood pressue, depression issues, diabeties and continue to live like this.  Some days it is so stressful I want to walk away.  I don't want my 5 year old to develop these habits. 

Lately, I step back take a breathe, and make my own food.  I can't worry about hurting her feelings anymore, it's my health too.   I have left behind the 8 medications a day I took and I am not going back.  As Oprah has said on her shows this week, we have to Love Ourselves.

God Bless

Pam