i need understanding and guidance

i have not been doing the right thing! actually, i have been doing all the wrong things! i was so on track with everything! and so thoroughly proud of myself until amost three months ago when i met my boyfriend and got one hundred percent side tracked. i've been totally upfront and honest with him that i've had surgery. he's seen me in the past around town at 255 pounds. but of course, he cant understand what it's like. and for some reason i cant get it through his head that i Cant eat carbs, that i Cant drink with meals. and i guess i've just given up out of politeness? i know that isnt right because i know he wants whats best for me too. he did quit his second job so he can watch Dita, my daughter, while i go back to my support group. but one day we're getting a sitter so he can come too. i do not know how i havent gained weight. is it just because it isnt possible to gain weight at seven months out?? i'm at 155 now give or take two pounds. but i've been there since dec. 1st. i'm drinking my second protien drink today. i stopped buying so many of them because i was getting a lot of guff from my nut. for not eating actual food and getting weird looks from my bf for not eating. but now i eat way more than a cup of food at one sitting. i'm scaring myself to death. i am literally terrified that i am going to gain weight. and it will be all my fault and no one else to blame but myself. i feel completely alone and totally clueless. my nut. is not helpfull at all and i really dont know what to do. i ran out of my vista vitamins and now i need to get more. what should i get? i had to take five of those a day and that was rediculous. what do u recommend? i'm starting to look dead. my face is sallow and pale and my eyes are sunken in and my hair is brittle. i do have a gym membership that i'm Not using. again, all my fault, being sidetracked with the love of my life. i start a new job monday and that will be 12 hour shifts, just for three weeks for extra money. that will be good for me because it will get me away from cooking and give me some time to get back to what's important to me. the bariatric ball is in april. my goal is 130 lbs. my dr's goal is 158. i've made that. so i need to lose just 25 more pounds to feel personally successfull. i've lost 100 already! this should be easy! i'm supposed to only eat 1/4 cup of food three times a day, isnt that it? i know, i'm shockingly uneducated. i feel like giving out my phone number i need so much help! i'm sorry this is such a long post. i just really need you gals right now. i'm sorry i havent been around. you know how life goes. thankyou so much for reading. xo

hun get a grip! congrats on your new beau! TAKE HIM TO SUPPORT GROUP! he needs real education...not what you tell him! take him to the Dr with you. get him some literature on it....and if all of that doesnt work....be strong! you know the right things to do. keep doing it. vitiamins are easy. I use Flinstones complete...2 a day. one in the am and one in the pm. I just had my 6 months labs and all within normal. you have done a remarkable job in such a short time...quit beating yourself up about it. I find myself unwilling to eat unless I am getting some protien and that is BAD for me. also are you getting B12 shots?? if not DO! it really helps! I was taking Biotin for my hair....still loosing it. but I have thick hair so I just cut 5 inches off of it and it looks and feels much healthier. you calm down now give yourself a big hug and keep doing what is right. yanno my NUT had a fit when I told her I was doing one protien drink daily....suppose to get all my protien from food! HAHAHAHAHAHA! it dont happen.....and if I could stand the thought of another drink a day I would. I have so much more to loose so I take all this eating of real food slowly..I never want to gain one inch or pound back! nutti

Sarah: you have done so well, sounds like you know what you need to do: 1. VITAMINS!! holy buckets girl those are the biggies! I'm taking Centrum Silver chewables now. Don't taste great but tolerable. B12-like Nutti said, these are a biggie, you cannot get it from food anymore mUST do sublinguals or shots or you could have memory loss, nerve damage, lots of bad things. Calcium: calcium citrate - you like your bones and your teeth don't you? Iron: so many folks who are 2 or 3 years out are having to do iron infusions, yuck! Vit D, and other B's: my doc also has us take more D (in a dry form), RNYers tend to be low on this. And I have read that you can't od on B's so I bought some B50 capsules and take 2 or 3 of those a day (makes your urine bright yellow tho!) 2. sounds like the boyfriend is trying to be supportive. get him to support group with you - great idea!!! 3. Drinking while eating!!! try, try try not to do this. it washes the food out of your tummy faster and all the long termers say it can easily add to regain and possibly stretching out the stoma. Whenever people ask what they wish they had never started doing I see 2 replies: eating sugar and drinking while eating. You can do this Sarah! You know what to do and we are all behind you! Get that new man trained and it will be great! congrats on your weight loss, NOW, get to the store and buy some vitamins!! we worry about you and don't want to have to kick your scrawny butt! hugs, judi

hi judi. thanks! i made an appointment with my regular dr for this thursday. i'm going in to get my labs drawn there today because i can just walk in and have it done. i'm going to discuss with my doc about getting b12 shots. i wonder if i'm not already feeling the affects of low b12? i've been dumb as a box of rocks! then i'm stopping in at walmart and getting flintstones. i get yellow pee from one B50 a day! but i didnt know u couldnt OD on them, so i'll take more. i know my nut. was saying that u have to space vitamin D as far apart from all your other vitamins as possible because everything affects the absorption. that's where vitamins confuse me because i'm not sure what and when. i've been drinking propel with calcium too. very little carbs and sooo good. i have not been drinking with meals since. that's just silly and i dont need to do it. i've gotta go back to low fat and basically no carb! i'm making an appointment with my nut. even though i swear i feel like i have a learning disability when im' around her because i dont understand her! i'm rereading my meal schedule that my nut. gave me. thanks everyone for your help.. and pouch rules for dummies! yes! i'm putting one up here and at my bf's house.

Jaime can you post that schedule so I can compare?

Sarah, You've gotten some good guidance already but I'll add that you should do a google search for "pouch rules for dummies" and read it over a few times, then have your BF read it too. It's really a good reminder of what is important about your rearranged intestines! For vitamins I do Flinstones Complete Chewables - 1 in the am and 1 in the pm with meals. B-Complex - 1 in the am. Biotin 1000mcg - 1 in the am. Calcium - Citracal creamy chews (Calcium Citrate) 3 a day - am, noon, pm. Vit B12 injection every other week. I'm eating between 1/4 c. and 3/4 c. (2-6 oz) at my meals. Just depends on what it is. If its something soft and mushy like Chili I can sometimes eat a whole cup. You've done so well - don't beat yourself up. Just get back on the Vitamins, get your protein and water in, and DONT drink while eating. You should make a follow-up appt with your surgeon and have some labs drawn because you may have more deficiencies than you realize - the sooner you get back on your vitamins the sooner you can start to recover. You may need iron too. Hang in there - you're right to get back on track we want you healthy!!! (((hugs))) ---Bekah

Remember. This you did for you. At least that's how it has to be in order for you to succeed. You must do all of this for you. It sounds selfish. But if you don't take care of yourself...you're no good to anyone else either.

Nothing you've done is irreversible! You can get on track and while successful WLS demands a change in lifestyle, that lifestyle does not have to separate you from those around you (unles they need WLS, too! LOL). -Vitamins: everyone should be taking them! The only difference for you will be quicker negative side effects if you don't. I take 2 Flintstone chewables in the a.m. and 2 in the p.m. Same for calcium citrate, 2 hours apart from the Flintstones so the iron in the multi vitamin doesn't affect uptake of the calcium. I'm still taking 1 biotin each morning and have had no hair loss. -Drinking with meals: Why should this be an issue with ANYONE??? Who notices?? -Amount to eat: From what I see only people that have trouble with getting foods down have limited themselves to 1/4 cup at our stage. Like others said, it depends on how dense the food is; turkey chili - I can eat a cup easily; grilled chicken - more like 4 ounces max (sometimes 2 ounces). Soft foods like yogurt and cottage cheese I only eat as a snack because they don't seem to fill me up. Looks like you're doing fine here. You might want to revert to 3 small meals and 2-3 small snacks to ensure you keep a "full" feeling, but stay within your doctor's recommended calorie intake. I cannot stay within my calories and get in the recommended 90-100 g protein without 1 protein drink each day. This lifestyle is no more restictive than any healthy lifestyle and those who love you want you to be healthy! You can do it!

Hi Sarah, I can't give any other advice. The ladies have hit all the points I would have. Take a deep breath, and keep coming back here. I find it helps me stay accountable. You are really doing well hugs, Jen

Sarah, take a big deep breath.............you've done a super fabulous job so far !!!!!!!!!!!! i can't really add anything else to what the others have already said to you..............we are here for you and we love ya!!! Crystal