Sorry....been AWOL lately...

I know I didn't even post about this, but they are re-structuring where I work and 38 people are going to lose their jobs. We are thinking the announcement of who will be tomorrow, they said by the end of the month. Here's my problem..... This job situation has really got me in a funk. I can't believe that I'm being this way. I'm just SOOOOOOOOOO worried about what I might find out tomorrow that I've been in a funk since Thanksgiving. All I've been doing is sitting watching tv and munching. Meals???? Really, is that what I'm suppose to be eating? Tonight, I had some microwave popcorn for supper. What the **** is that? I brought work home to do over the weekend and I haven't even opened up my computer bag to look at it! Unbelievable.....I've literally sat on my butt and done nothing. I did get outside yesterday for a couple of hours and rake leaves. I was suppose to get out and finish today, but do you think I did? Nope....I sure didn't. I come to the computer to come on the boards and read a couple of posts and log off....I am having a really hard time I can't even respond. I want to and then think, "Nah" I'll just log off. Go back to my room and sit and watch more tv. I've been in a zombie state. I don't get like this. I've been through a LOT in my life and adversity and bad news are no strangers to me....yet this, even though I don't know that I'm going to be one of the 38 people that lose their jobs has me totally screwed up! I really need to get a grip! This being down about something that hasn't even happened isn't reality. I'm praying, I know He hears me, I know it's in His hands, I know that the wonderful bumper stickers he placed in front of me were there for a reason. Now, I just have to take heed to what they said and "RELAX". My sister and BIL stopped by yesterday and I just wanted them to leave. I just wanted to be alone. That's horrible! My son got home tonight and I was like, "Oh great, someone here." BLAH! GRRRRR SHAKE IT OFF GIRL! I want to apologize for not replying to posts. You've all been soooo supportive of my journey and I want to be just as supportive of everyone elses, I just need to become myself again, not this zombie person that has taken over. Sorry for how long this got and me whining....I just feel soooo blah. I pray that I will be able to come back here tomorrow or the next few days and say I was all worried about nothing. Pam

You will be in my thoughts Pam. Sounds like you are allowed a little depression and worry over something major like this. I went into hibernation mode like that after my surgery for some reason. Let us know as soon as you hear something. hugs, judi

Pam Your state is understandable. Even though you may not be among the 38, you are thinking of the others and what such terrible news would mean to you. It's a miserable situation for the 38 that go and the others that stay. Even after the announcement, you will probably take a while to bounce back. I also hear you about meals...I can very easily get off track if I don't stick to a strict schedule and meal plan. It doesn't help that hunger is ever present! Take heart in your faith; it will carry you through. Let us know how the week goes. Cleo

Pam, I know how you feel I have been going through some rough times myself. I am thankful that GOD is there to help me. I have to pray, "GOD, I have faith; just remove my non-faith." It is so easy to have faith for someone else but when it comes to yourself, it is a little harder. It sounds to me like you are in a case of severe depression over this (this is a stage I have been going through). You need to get out and walk at least an hour a day (that is what my doctor told me). He said consider it therapy. Otherwise, your home will become your jail. What will happen if you lose your job? Is your house paid for? Will your husbands income suffice, that is if you are married? Will you lose your car? I know these are the biggies that people think of, I know I did. You know what? I did lose a lot of material things including my house. But, as long as you have GOD, you have everything. He has helped me through so much. I have felt like such a failure. I worked as a paramedic for 25 years and had just went through nursing school and I had a stroke. Lost the job. GOD has kept us. We don't live in a box. We don't just have a roof over our head, we have a whole house! We live with our daughter now. I have done the same things you have done. I even won't go out without my husband. I don't answer the phone still. I am seeing a doctor for this to help me through. I know that GOD uses doctors as intruments. I didn't want to go but my husband made me. I started reading the book of Job. That cheered me up alot. He lost a lot of things, more than I could comprehend. But at the end GOD reminded Job what he could do. He threw the stars into the sky and He suspended them in the space. He made the earth and it is suspended over nothing. If he can do that, he can do anything, including take care of us. I am a chatty Cathy, so I what I am trying to say is, even if you lose your job, GOD will have something better for you. He has a plan for you. Though you are in a valley, if you depend on him he will help you up to the top of the mountain. You are in my prayers. Elisa

Pam someone how I missed your post last night.........But I read it just now and I wish I was there with you so I could just give you a hug......Girl you are definately entitled to just get in a funk state sometimes we emotionally (as weird as that sounds) need to just be alone so we can really just relax our minds and think........not only do you not know for sure if you are one of the people or not but there are going to be 38 people out of a job right before christmas too.....I know the person you are and you are a caring loving person and I know that is on your mind......as far as not responding to posts on here don't sweat it lady you are one of the biggest supporters on here!!! TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!NO matter what comes your way and i know you already know this ......just know (WHAT GOD HAS FOR YOU IT IS FOR YOU)that is one of the songs that I sing in church and whenever i am going through something and i am with you knowing that adversity and trials are not strangers to me either.......that whatever God has for me it is for me and I know without a doubt that he will bring me out.........Girl I love ya!! If ya need to vent then VENT...if you need a hug we will HUG ya we are here for you!! Crystal