Always the "friend"

My love life right now is NULL. Nada, zip, zilch, zero. I AM SO SICK OF BEING THE "FUNNY" FAT GIRL!!!!! I meet a lot of guys but I am always "the friend". Why is this? I want to be more than a friend. What is a girl to do? Everyone keeps telling me that I will meet someone but I haven't and it is starting to get frustrating. I mean I am putting myself out there and there are no takers. I will admit, I am shy at times but after talking to me I come out of my shell. I look at my thinner friends and see how they get guys left and right. Is being obese such a huge turn off? Will dating change when I am thinner? It is so frustrating right now. Everyone tells me that I have a pretty face. Ok thats great, but what about the rest of Me? Am I a nice person? How is my personality. GURRRRR!!! I asked one of my close guy friends what it is about me that he likes. Again, it is my "great personality". I asked him why no guy will date me and he didn't know what to say. So what do you do? Wait around? The phrase Fear of Rejection comes to mind. maybe thats why I don't try as hard as I should with guys. All I know is that I am on this journey, I am still fat and without a boyfriend. So if anyone knows any single guys that doesn't mind having an obese girlfrined. Hook it up!!! Sorry about the rant. I feel better

Sometimes you have to be the friend before you can be the GIRLFriend That's how I met my DH. We were best friends in high school and then his Senior year we started dating. Its one of those thing where we thought dating would mess up our friendship. We've been married 15 years this Dec. and he is truly my best friend! Hang in there girlie, the right one will come along!

Ruth, I am not really sure what to say except that YOU are A Beautiful young woman!!! True love will overlook anything.I am a living witness to that. My husband who is wonderful ,loved me when I was obese and found me attractive when everyone else was saying the (you have such a pretty face) he was saying what a great booty, beautiful eyes, cute feet, sexy legs....etc etc......Mr. Right hasn't come along yet.....alot of people are superficial as well and they care more about appearance and we all know that being obese has it's steroetypes...........but i have no doubt in my mind that you will have many dates and then even mr. right will come along.....and just when you least expect it, it will happen just relax and have fun and it will,it will!!!! Love you girl! Don't forget that you are beautifully and wonderfully made!!!!

As you loose weight I think you will start putting out the right "vibe" that you havent been putting out there.................even if you think you have been........ Confidence will change everything..........

Hi Ruth, I am glad you made this post. Hunny your gorgeous, and you know what? I can already tell that you have a great personality. I believe that it will happen whenever you stop trying. Now the thing that worries me is .... these guys that want to be your "FRIEND" right now change their minds when you hit you goal. as far as these others your "putting yourself out there for" STOP THAT!! Make them come to you... your a cutie weather your heavy or thin don't let them make you feel frustrated. blessings, Valarie

I want to thank all of you for listening and all the great advice!!! Hopefully I can make it happen

Ruth, you're a beautiful young lady! Just because the guys you are friends with are superficial and overlook a wonderful person because she doesn't have a porn-star body, doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Something is wrong with them! I used to think I would remain a single fat girl forever after my divorce from my first husband. I dated a few guys after the divorce and discovered they wanted nothing more than a roll in the hay, but nothing serious. I was good enough for the bedroom under the cover of darkness....but in the daylight, I was an embarrassment. Trust me, discovering that is WORSE than being dateless. It wasn't until I stopped looking, that Mr. Right came along for me. I had finally grown comfortable with being alone, and decided I didn't need a man to be happy. Then I met Gerry. We were friends at first, and I even thought of him as a punk kid (he's younger than me). Everything just kinda fell into place and I'm happier than I've ever been, working on our 6th year of marriage. I didn't meet him until I was 35 years old. First time in my life I've been truly happy. So try to enjoy life, learn to be comfortable with your new emerging self, and the right guy will find you. They say that good things come to those who wait. I found out they were right Donna

Ruth - I had to add my 2 cents, too. Thin or fat, plenty of women and men have the same problem. Your time will come and some guy will absolutely melt at your doe eyes, dimples, curves and gorgeous hair - not to mention that sizzling personality! My friend didn't meet her husband until she was 32 and she spent most of her time with guys being the jock she is. It was a blind date that went just right. My son didn't meet his new bride until she was 32 and he was 34. Me - I met my husband at age 18, married at 21 and divorced at 30 -- not a recommended course of action! Times are different and not everyone is dating furiously and marrying out of high school. Please, take the time to enjoy your new life as a thinner you in all ways! You have such an amazing life ahead of you! Cleo