happy and depressed at the same time??

Ok this is going to sound really weird and I know alot of you are going to probably flip out.......but here it goes Today really excited because I was wearing a size l instead of a 1x or 2x blouse it really looked nice on me with a flowered skirt. Then hubby and I went to home depot to look at some stuff for our new house and we passed a mirror.......and i looked at myself and thought to myself OMG I STILL LOOK SO FAT....i could see the bulge in my belly the fat on my back....my hubby bless his heart saw me and must have read my mind and put his hands around me and said you are so beautiful you have done sooo good.......and i said but look at my belly bulge, back fat....he said first of all i don't see it second look how well you have done in such a short time...give yourself a break i know i am being hard on myself but does anyone else feel this way.... I mean in one hand i can do so many things and feel so great and then the next i am all down on myself........ WILL IT EVER END??????

Hug Crystal! I think it takes awhile for your brain to catch up with your body. Bless your DH for being so supportive! That helps SOOOOO much!!! Hang in there... it will get better. Your doing awesome!

Buffy thanks for the hug...i just sometimes feel so great and the next minute still feel ugggghhh (not trying to have a pity party just ugggh)

I 110% agree with you. The other day I fit into a 16 dress and I was like WOO HOO (I think there sizes are wrong because I fit into like 18/20's right now) But anyway then I looked in the mirror. And even though I felt slim(mer) and thought I feel almost a little sexy...BOOM fat saggy arms and I thought it looked horrible and I didn't anything like I felt but I still baught that dress (stupid huh? lol) My husband I think wanted to be carefull because my moods ahve been BAD so I sorta feel for him. I know he don't want to dish me a load of bull but at the same time he didn't want to say oh you look great in that! Anyway *hug* I think from now on I just wont look in the mirror hehe then I can continue to think I look good! But just so you know, everytime I see your picture I think...Wow she is gorgeous! You don't look like you even need to loose weight. You're beautiful. And me on the otherhand...a couple weeks ago we were getting a home inspection on a house we're buying and the inspector thought my husband was my son! Can you imaging the laughter and then the heartache hehe. Anyway I am rambling. GO CRYSTAL!!! Robin 250/203/130

Thanks Robin for sharing with me your story....and understanding...congrats on buying a house! I am a associate broker with Coldwell Banker..here in NY. The home inspector probably wanted to crawl into a hole after making that remark. I checked out your profile and your pic and i think you are beautiful as well!!! This long road we have ahead of is.......it will get better..i just needed to vent and see if anyone else was feeling the same way, so I really appreciate you sharing. Crystal

Absolutely understand...read my blog from yesterday... We need the opinions of others for validation. I read a blog from another VA woman who was going to a therapist for continued self-image problems. She could never accept compliments from others about how good she looked. The therapist said the compliments are like gifts being offered. You would never refuse a gift, right? So accept the compliments and realize they are heartfelt. Concentrate on what you DO like about the new you (beautiful fingers and wrists sporting that lovely jewelry?) and ignore the rest until you work it to where you like it. If you were like me, you could just remove your contact lenses and all the bad things disappear - poof-da! Like magic! Have a really good week Crystal. You're doing so great!

Cleo you always cheer up and make me smile!!!!!!! I hope your surgery goes great! (thinking about breaking and entering to get those ww ice cream) LOL

Crystal I am on the same boat as you!!! I fit into a top the other day that I have not worn for 3 yrs. I looked into the mirror and then I turned around and saw the back fat still. Personally, I cannot see my weight loss yet. Everyone says I look great but I don't see it. My friend suggested to take some new pics and compare. She said it will help you see how far I have come. I am gonna try it, maybe you should too. Lots and lots of huggs to all my OH friends. We will get through it

Ruth thank you for your support and understanding........i love you guys

Cheer up Crystal. You are a beautiful girl and you're looking fabulous. There's a girl in my support group that probably weighs 135 lbs now after having RNY 11 months ago and she says she still she's herself as weighing 300 lbs. It's a mental thing that we all will probably go through and we all need to get over it. We're taking the right path to get to where we should be and you should be proud of yourself. Does your bariatric department have any sort of psychology or emotional help program, mine doesn't well not much of one anyway. Anyway, don't be so hard on yourself. Think about where you were and how great you feel now! We're here for you if you need to vent! Hugs!!! Michelle