When life doesn't go as planned....

I am one of the June 18th dates. I hope everyone else's surgery went better than mine. I have just gotten home. I was on the intensive care floor for three days after surgery, needed two units of blood, ran a fever, look like someone beat the crap out of me, went in weighing 216, came out weighing 244! My 'cakewalk' became a nightmare. I'm a planner. I thought if I planned carefully and followed all instructions to the "T" I would have an easier time of it because I am a 'lightweight', am not ridiculously old (after all, 50 is the new 40, right?), have only had diabetes for two years and it is not severe, yet. I, apparently, developed a bleed during surgery that went undiscovered. I still don't have the full story on THAT situation. But, I was very weak and out of it, but still knew I didn't want someone else's blood in me. I ended up with two units, almost three, but I really balked at taking the third unit a day later. Whether or not I've need an additional surgery to look for the bleed was iffy for three days after my initial surgery. My blood pressure got so low at some points they were concerned I'd pass out. I have ingested nothing since Sunday but a few sips of water, protein shake *yuck*, and cranberry juice, and still don't really care if I ever eat again. I look and feel like an overstuffed sausage. I cannot even believe my body is capable of holding onto 30 extra pounds of fluids. I would have bet my skin would have split open long before this. I know why I did this. I haven't lost perspective of that, but there were actually a few moments when I contemplated that fact that I may actually die, and it all seemed foolish to me. I could have been home at that very moment eating cheese curls and watching TV. Sure the diabetes would have gotten me eventually, but not that day. I don't know what the point of this tome is...I mean I wouldn't advise anyone NOT to plan for a good outcome. I guess it's a cautionary tale that even with all the good planning and intentions, things can still go wrong. Quickly and seriously. Be prepared for that, and feel damn fortunate when it doesn't happen to you. I will come through this. I am so grateful to be home. I really wasn't supposed to go home last night, but I NEEDED to be home and had a meltdown that convinced the doctor I might be better off here than in the hospital. I am home. I have showered. A shower I will never forget. I have my cat lying on the bed with me. I am finally getting some freaking sleep...real sleep that lasts for hours. I am around my beloved family, who hear me moving around my bedroom and pop in at odd hours to sit and talk with me. Who are very relieved that I am home and getting better. As far as info that might benefit some of you: I seem able to drink decent amounts of lukewarm water and cranberry juice without consequence (I didn't even used to like cranberry juice, now I do...go figure). I am swallowing all my capsules and pills without problem, which really surprised me, but there it is. So far, none of the items I've ingested (few, though they are) have irritated my opening. The jello I've had I felt aware it was there (if you get what I mean), but it didn't hurt and the feeling passed quickly. I am happy to answer any questions pre-ops might have, just allow for my disappearing to sleep a few hours here and there. Good luck to you all. I am not trying to discourage you, just make you aware. I am in the minority, but when it's you rattling around in there, it doesn't much matter that you're by yourself. I hope the other June surgeries went well and you guys are home recovering. God bless you and others' whose surgery is still upcoming. Bonnie

Bonnie, It is good you are home. Thats half the relief. I imagin one night you will wake up and pee and pee!!! Even wtihout your complecations you'd most likely not feel good. I am glad the Lord has seen you through this. It will get better. Your taste budds will be different which seems to be a daily thing. Get your rest and due try to walk. We will keep you in our prayers! Welcome to the Looser side! Lynn

wow...........how scary! im glad your home and feeling better..............i know how good it feels to be home, and i really believe that being at home and getting GOOD sleep in SUPER importrant to healing......... best of luck to you.......... -Katie

Oh, Bonnie, that's just terrible. I am glad you are home among people who truly love and care for you. Just know that we are here to support you too and that I am sending prayers and good wishes for your speedy recovery.

good grief girlfriend- what a freaking nightmare- i am glad you are ok- and yes at home with family is always best- sounds like your doing the right things- i will hold you in prayer

Hey y'all, thanks for the good wishes. I accept them all gratefully and appreciate them. Dang, I am just so grateful and appreciative of everything! I am getting great gobs of sleep, which is good for me, I know, but I'm having bazaar dreams and wake up feeling like crap. I am already peeing like a champ and moving my bowels, so all seems well on that end. I have an ass kicking migraine that isn't helping things right now, it's just not my week, dang. I am still bloated beyond recognition. My cat is really hinky around me. I sound like me, but I don't smell like me and he's leary. Damn, I'm pathetic, I'd keep my distance, too, if I had the option. I have five lap incisions in weird places. I expected them to be symmetrical, they are not. As far as incisions go, they are pretty, I guess. There is no weeping, I needed no drains. I am just now eating a little unsweetened apple sauce. It's probably a little early for that, but I wanted to try it. It seems to be going down fine. Thanks again for all your good wishes. I am greedily hording them to aid in my recovery.