What to tell the children...

I have a 6 year old boy and a 3 1/2 year old girl and I want to tell them about the surgery but I really don't know what I should tell them. They are a bit of worry warts and chatter boxes..lol Since I will be having the surgery 100+ miles away I will have to be away for a whole week. I can't just say I'm having surgery because they'll say for what, why and how do the doctors do it. Does anyone have there childrens manual out, with helpful tips? Thanks -Nicole

MY advise......... and it most certainly will differ from others, would be to wait until you get back to explain it to them. If they're worriers and you're going to be gone a whole week, they may worry more. I'd probably just say "mommy is going on a little vacation, I'll miss you and I'll be back soon". Ofcourse.... kids will surprise you. Sometimes a simple answer is all they need. I told my 10 yr old I was having surgery to help me get skinny and he said....... you're already skinny enough, but if thats what you want. And that was the end of it. Good luck either way. They're young... they don't need lots of details. Melinda

Well I told my kids 10 and 3. my 10 year old was worried especially if he saw me worry. But I told him I was gonna be fine and that I would be home in a few days. My baby just says that the doctors made my belly little and he likes to count my incisions. He is only 3 and he is really careful not to lean on my belly and hes real careful if he climbs in my lap. He always ask me did I hurt your belly. I think it is good to tell your kids...Just stay positive and if they see that your not scared they will not be either. I just told them that I was having surgery on my stomach to help me lose weight so I can be healthy and play with them. Now they are excited and ask me when can we jump on the trampoline and do all that fun stuff. Kids are tough. I think you should just tell them a simple version of whats gonna happen. well hope this help some...HUgs carol.

We discussed in like an open forum at dinner time. I just said mommy is going to have surgery and I told them when and we marked it on the calendar together. I told them(6,9 yrs.) that mom is trying to get healthy and mommy really thinks this is the best decision and that it will help me not get tired so easy and that I would like to do more adventurous things, but my weight keeps me from doing that. We dicussed things like bike riding , running and me skydiving again. I told them it will help me to learn to be happy(with therapy ofcourse) and find my same but smaller self. They both exclaimed that they wanted me to go sooner than the surgery date, so we could get this ball on the roll. I was worried to how they would take it , kids are very resilient, more so than we.Now I did'nt go into details about the possible difficulties and adjustments, we will see that later on down the road if neccessary. I also didn't get out any graphic pics. I just said what was needed and kept it short and sweet.And kept time aside always for them to ask questions.I will go into the time it takes for surgery and how long mommy might be adjusting my new tummy about a week following up into my surgery date. Kids need to know what to expect, they deserve to know. I would want to know if it were my mom and I was a kid. Kids live in the now-They will enjoy helping me get back on my feet. They understand and receive you well as long as you are not acting fearful. Take care Nicole-Kristin

I had this same problem, and even posted on another message board about this. I'm going in Tuesday, and so yesterday I took the kids to breakfast and I told the two little ones (six and nine) that I was going to be going to the hospital to have my belly fixed so that I could lose weight and be able to have more fun with them. I actually stole this from someone else. They asked all kinds of questions, but their questions mostly had to do with exactly how skinny would I get, would I be as skinny as this person, etc. Then my six year old asked when Daddy was going to lose weight, which I found very funny! Daddy didn't think it was so funny. Good luck to you! It's not easy, is it? Jenn

I have a four year old - I really considered not telling her anything. But in the end I simply told her that I had a problem with my stomach and that the doctors would fix it in the hospital. She did well processing that information. I wasn't going to let her visit me in the hospital, but my husband decided to bring her one evening. She was a little freaked out for the first few minutes (I was still on the drip) but soon was chatting away to everyone. She likes to look at the bandages on my tummy and knows that she needs to be careful with me. Good luck deciding what to tell your son and daughter - I'm sure you'll figure out what works best for you and your family. Elizabeth

Thank you all for your help. I ended up telling them that I was going to a place to learn how to be healthier and when I come back I will have to take it a little easy and no nerf gun wars.