I am so upset

The past few days have been just awful. family and work are both so hectic . I am feeling scared about approaching surgery. I hate my boss and co-workers (I am a kindergarten teacher in a childcare center) and I am not sure I'm too crazy about the kids right now. I plan to leave for surgery and not return but find a new teaching position over the summer. I am eating like crazy. I don't have to do the liquid diet but I am starting to consider it because I am afraid I will pack on the pounds in the weeks before my surgery. So I want to cry and I am falling apart tonight. fleeing a bit overwhelmed I guess.

Hi Laura, I'm a teacher too and this time of year is just horrible. With your surgery coming up and all the end of the year stuff ...well no wonder you are overwhelmed. (Big hug) Everything is going to work out fine. Take some time for yourself tonight. Don't worry about anyone else. Go for a walk or take a nice long bubble bath. Baby yourself a little. You are taking on a big life change and it is not easy. You don't want to put on any more weight if you can help it. When you feel the urge to eat, go ahead and eat. However, maybe change the way you are letting yourself eat. Take one or two bites, then give yourself something to do for a few minutes. Come back to the food and see if you still want it. Many times, you'll find you are no longer hungry. It's anxiety, girl! It will be ok. We're all here for you. Mary

Yep I your right! I am not really hungry. Thus if I stay at the computer I can't eat. Thanks! I't's difficult to know I am leaving my job and families that I love but I can't say anything. I really don't want to finish out the year. anyhow just venting and I appreciate the hugs and support. Laura

Hey Laura We are here for you anytime.. I am surrounded by tons of support, but yep, I'm still a basket case... Tons of emotions, crying one minute and laughing the next. I yelled at my husband earlier for no apparent reason, now he is mad at me too.. So here I sit, reading posts and drinking a JB & Coke... I know I shouldn't but it is making me feel better... I hardly ever drink so one and I am buzzing!! Hang in there and feel free to email me anytime.. I would love to talk to you... Donna

I am dropping in from Alabama. I am originally from Texas. Had my surgery in Alabama. Eat what you want to eat, if it will ease this time for you. Unless you are doing the lap band, it won't make a difference. Enjoy your last meals. The truth is that what you are sensing now will not exist after surgery. You will not feel hunger, except on rare occasions when you actually are hungry. It is normal to feel anxiety before the surgery. Don't make any life long decisions at the moment, you are not in the frame of mind to do that. Do something relaxing. It is fine to eat and you may pack on a few pounds. I had to wait 19 months before my surgery. I didn't diet during that time. I actually lost weight when I quit trying to diet and kept myself all up in the air over what I weighed. I weigh 173 pounds today. I am about 30 or so pounds from my goal weight. I eat what I want...I just don't want much anymore. I ate out today and had a chopped steak, broccoli, and garlic mashed potatoes....I brought more than half of it home in a doggie bag. I may eat on this for at least two meals, maybe three. I have always tried to eat healthy, but I use to be so hungry all the time that I didn't know what to do. So eat. If you eat, you will stop worrying about it...give yourself permission to eat...and you will probably eat less and will stop the obsessive thoughts about it. I taught school for a number of years. Now, i teach at a university. This time of the year is so difficult. No one who has not been there can understand the stress of closing down a school year. It is not better in a university. However, after 35 years, it just get to be something that you learn to expect and plan for. Be sure to make time for yourself in little ways. The ideas of having a bubble bath, reading something fun before bed time, painting your toenails an off beat color, looking through magazines and catelogues for the clothes you are going to purchase after you reach your goal weight,....all of these things can be helpful and enjoyable distractions. You will be a new person after surgery. It is very hard to explain this to you until you experience it...but it is a wonderful journey and many of the things that make you so tired now and feel so stressed will not be as difficult. Stress is still stress, but you will have more energy to deal with this problems in your life. Surgery will not make you magically relieved of all of the problems, but it will open new doors for you to walk through. So hang tough and don't back out...stay for the full ride....just don't burn any career bridges yet.