Week from Hell!

Hello family, I know that I do not post much, but I read the boards every day. I am at a very low point right now On friday afternoon at work the principal came up to my classroom and told me I had a phone call. I went down to the office to take the call and it was my partner telling me that my father had died from a heart atack. Of course I was an absolute mess and she was on the way to get me. When she got there, the office staff wouldn't let her in the room where I was until she told them exactly who she was. I was not out at work before then because I was worried about the reaction of parents if they found out that I was gay. (I teach elementary) But anyway, she picked me up and we went to the hospital to see my dad one last time. On saturday I was at my mom's house helping her with funeral arangements. I had not been feeling well all day, but I figured it was just from being so upset. I got a sudden urge to go #2. After I went I wiped and it was full of blood. I stood up and looked in the toilet and it was full of blood. Then I went down stairs and just about passed out. My mom called an ambulance and they took me to the hospital. I was in from saturday night until this afternoon. I had a bleeding ulcer So now I am on some meds which will hopefully make me feel better. But I am on a clear liquid diet until monday when I go to see my surgeon. I was really looking forward to thanksgiving since my family is still grieving. And of course the turkey. It was not hard to not eat when I was in the hospital, but now that I am home I want to eat everything in sight. It is so hard. I used to turn to food when I was upset or depressed. And now I am really depressed and I can't even eat a thing. Any advice on getting through this mess without my best friend (food)?

Dearest Sierra, I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling...except for the food as your best friend thing. I can only send you (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))), love, best wishes, and lots of prayers!!!! As for getting through this without food, I don't know how to do it. I know that part of me thinks it would be easier without eating anything, but I know that is NOT true. Coming out is so hard. I have friends that are gay and I know how hard it was for them to come out. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be as a teacher. We are held to a whole different standard sometimes. What grade do you teach? I teach first grade at an Elem. school is one of the most improvished schools in SD. We have lots of diversity and are over 80% free and reduced lunches. Still, or maybe because of, the teachers are expected to be above reproach. It is hard sometimes. Sending you lots of love...Have a blessed Thanksgiving. Cyndi Underberg, Hartford, SD ([email protected])

Sierra- I am so sorry for your loss. And to get sick right on top of that is horrible. I hope that you are feeling better soon. I do not have many words of advice to offer on trying to cope without your old buddy food. I am struggling myself right now. What I can suggest is that you be sure to get in all your water and pray that your tool (smaller stomach) will come through for you. I found myself grazing today but had to stop because my stomach was full. Listen to your tool and it will help. I really hope that your being gay does not present a problem at school. With everything else going on that would just be terrible. There are lots of narrow minded people in the world that think it is their business what you do in your own home. I am sure you are a great teacher and that you have lots to give to your students. MichiGirl

Wow. That's a whole bunch of horrible stuff happening all at once. Sorry for your loss. Hopefully the situation with the bleeding ulcer gets resolved quickly. That many stressors will naturally turn us towards grazing. As much as possible try and talk out all of your feelings with your partner and your family. She/they are there for you and you are there for them in all things. Getting it out may help take away some of the need for emotional eating during this time. You're in my thoughts. -Daniel

blessings hon ,{big hug}.Brenda in tx

Sierra I am so sorry about your dad. I have lost both my parents now and I know it is so very difficult. Blessings to you and your family.

Sierra, I'm so sorry for your loss! I'm glad you got to the hospital and got some meds. What a terrible time for something like that to happen! I'm a teacher, too... it doesn't matter if you're black, white, purple, gay, or from another planet, as long as you love kids. I'm sure you're a great teacher! Take care and keep us posted! Traci