Man problems

Has anyone had problems with their boyfriends/significant others/spouses after the surgery? I know this was one of the issues that many people go through but I need some advice. My boyfriend is getting very insecure about me losing weight and keeps saying little comments here and there that I'm going to get all this attention from other men and eventually I am going to leave him for someone else. It's extremely frustrating and it seems that when I talk to him about how good I feel and how many compliments I'm getting he starts to mope around. I am not going to hide my excitement just because he can't handle it. I want us to share the excitement. Any advice????

Wow Tanya, That stinks! I am single right now, but if I had a husband or boyfriend in my life, I would be very sad if they made me feel bad about the wonderful progress I was making. I don't know how long you have been in your relationship, but would couples counseling be out of the question? I don't know if you go to a church that might offer it, or you could find a private counselor. Even a visit or two might help him get his feelings out and give you both an opportunity to talk about the changes. Maybe he just needs some reassurance that your relationship isn't going to change. I hope it all works out for the best, and I am sure you will get some good advise from our fellow WLSers. Stacy

Sounds like he's dealing with a major case of insecurity. I obviously don't know your situation, but I know a lot of people who have had relationships suffer as a result of changes in our bodies. Sometimes we change. Sometimes they change. We got used to living a certain way for a long time to deal with being MO. Now we're having to figure out how we relate to the world and how the world relates to us. Counseling might not be the worst thing in the world. All you can do is reassure and tell him that he's being riddiculous. If he can't get over it and be happy for you, then I wonder why he's jealous of your success. My 2 cents.

Obviously you did this surgery to have a healthier and better life.. which is really good for you... YOU...YOU YOU YOU... get it... The thing is you are not in a relationship by yourself and when you do something to yourself it will impact your boyfriend.. .don't get me wrong I'm not saying his feelings or attitude is right but it does make sense. He's been your man before the weight and now you are not only changing physically but mentally...he has to deal with change just as much as you do..... I don't know if you had a conversation about the surgery with your boyfriend but I would take the time to reassure him that you aren't going nowhere....I think you need some counseling but not couples counseling it should be separate because you are dealing with so many physically challenges and he just can't understand them.... quite frankly he is on the outside looking in....I think this is more than just a man being jealous over his woman and being funky about her achievements....There is something wrong when one is happy and the other isn't good luck nepo

I had that problem with my husband before I did the surg, and I made it a game. I said to him that he would reep all the benifits too. Easier to have sex and i would look better on his arm. And If he still went on about it I told him to get over it and if he couldn't there's the door. It's all about you not him, tell him to hang on and enjoy the ride! Cause if he can make it through with you think of all the fun he will have too. This all seemed to snap mine out of it!

Tanya, I can understand is concern. You are a very pretty young lady and i am sure you turn a few heads even now. When you have your surgery and drop that extra weight you will be transformed into a beauty. Your BF is suffering from major insecurity challenges. I suggest you do whatever it takes to rest his weary mind and let him know that he is the only man for you. (If that is true) He's afraid of losing what has got to be the best thing in his life--YOU. Good luck and best wishes. Bob

Oops, I see you have already had surgery-your profile says surgery date scheduled--my mistake-but what I said is still the same. Bob

Ive found that some of them just cant handle it. My boyfriend and I started growing apart even when I was in the hospital... Even though we've now broken up I've just tried to stay positive and realize that this is what I need in my life to be healthy and happy in the future. I would say that you should tell him how you feel and how the way he reacts is hurting you and you want this to be a positive thing for both of you. Keep your chin up!