Ill be honest with you Diana, I haven't read a real book in so long I could not judge a good one from a bad one. I think it is always worth pursuing your dreams though and if you love to write then I say write! It would also be a very cathartic experience for you. If you get published, let us know and I would definitely buy a copy! Wendy

Diana, I love that you listed more than your losses. You listed your gains too! That is what this is all about! Happy Rebirthday! Wendy

You have done great Kelli Jo. Happy Anniversary and keep up the good work! Wendy

As a celebration of my new self, I would like to continue writing my story. I started this story a few days before surgery. Of course, this is as far as I got. My hope is to continue my story. So I am including my few pages here. Please read it and offer up some feedback. Do you find this interesting? Would this be something you would want to read? Would you actually "buy" this story if I published it? I know that there are a lot of bariatric books out there, and more continue to pop up everyday, but I guess I have always wanted to inspire someone with my writing. If I could help just one person, I think this would be worth it to me. Let me know your thoughts after you read this story. ***copyright Diana Bigham, 06/22/06 Defining Moments The Events Leading Up To..... It was a defining moment in life. I know this because of the intensity of emotions that I felt all at once. In fact, you have so many emotions that your brain cannot really process them all at once so you almost experience this euphoria and then a release, which in my case was uncontrollable tears quickly followed by disbelief. You hear about these defining moments in life. If you would listen to a quick sound bite, you would hear something like this.... "I was drowning in the lake when I felt someone pull me up......I knew then that I would survive." "The officer stood at my door and told me that my husband had been killed in a car accident. As I stared into the faces of my three children, I knew things would never be the same from this point forward. " "As I climbed to the top of the mountain, I had a feeling rush over me knowing that I had completed one of the greatest challenges in my life." As people tell their stories, they often conclude with a well-known phrase: "this was a defining moment in my life." A defining moment is an experience that proves to be crucial. It is a juncture in your life---a crossroad. Over our lifetime, we will experience a few of these. These are the moments when we know quite frankly that life will never be the same. We have been going along a normal day-to-day course and now we have been forced onto a new path. These defining moments can be something that we have chosen for ourselves or they can be something of cir****tance, fate, or destiny. In my life I have had the opportunity and in some cases the misfortune to experience three such events. The first defining moment was when my husband asked me to marry him. I would like to say this was a defining moment brought on by destiny. Sadly and ironically enough, my second defining moment was not my own choice, but perhaps in the end it was fate. I believe that every event happens for a reason so I keep telling myself there is a good reason or a master plan for this particular defining moment. Staring at my divorce papers in front of me, this was never a path that I would have chosen for myself. It was a defining moment that my husband had decided to choose for both of us. Regrettably, we are not able to choose all of our defining moments. People can alter our paths for us, but we have the power to continue on and to choose a better path all the while learning from our past mistakes. However, this time I had worked to bring about this defining moment in my life. I had helped to create this new path. Defining moments can feel really good when you are the one that is actually doing the defining. Instead of staring at divorce papers, I was staring at a letter from my health insurance company. They were requesting more information to approve my bariatric surgery. I felt this rush of anger come over me. How could they even send such a letter? I had sent them so much documentation that I felt a few trees were wiped out because of my efforts. I had spent the last four years in a direct assault against my weight. I did two rounds of Optifast spending close to $10,000. Both times my weight never got below 190. I had so much documentation from these two rounds alone that this procedure could have been easily blessed by the higher powers. I am sure a few of you out there have tried Optifast too so you know that it is medically monitored and that they keep weekly records when you are on the program. This served as my "medical documentation", but then I went a step further and I created a table that looked at my chronological weight gain in relation to diet and exercise attempted. In this summary table, I included my own personal observations. I wanted the insurance carriers to see me as a person not just a number. (I know that many of you right now are struggling with the process of getting your surgery approved so I am including a copy of my summary table in the back of this book in hopes of helping you in this process.) So here I was staring at this request for information letter......I had waited almost two months to get a reply back from them and this is what I got in return. It was almost like they had not even looked at what I had sent them. I felt that I had been a victim of a simple paper shuffle. I was furious. I immediately dialed up my insurance company with my letter in hand. I can't even remember who I talked with because I was so angry. If I could replay the conversation for you it would sound a little like this: "I can't believe you guys rejected me. How much more information do you need? I sent you an entire stack of documentation, which wasn't cheap by the way. I had to pay to get my medical records from Optifast. Not to mention I had to copy all of the materials as well as I sent this to you certified mail. I have waited for over two months to hear back from you, and now I get information saying that you need more information. I feel that you guys just sat on this information and now you are simply rejecting it out of convenience!" Shortly, after I had thoroughly unloaded on this poor lady. She said, "Hmm...I am not sure why you got that letter. I am showing that you were approved on April 27th for the surgery." "I am approved? Yes. Perhaps, that letter crossed in the mail, but you are approved. It says so right here." I am not sure how I ended the call after that because I was so overwhelmed with emotions. As soon as I hung up, the tears began to fall. It was a rush of emotions. I knew this was a defining moment for me because I knew that this would change my life forever. As soon as my rush was over, I called my insurance company back because I was sure they had made some sort of mistake. I wanted to verify this again. Many people do not get approved on the first try so there must be some mistake. I did not want to get my hopes up to high. It was better to get this cleared up right away before becoming too hopeful. If I could replay the second conversation for you it would sound a little like this: "Yes. This is Diana Bigham. I called just a few moments ago. I just wanted to confirm something on my insurance coverage. I talked to a lady a few moments ago and she told me that I was approved for bariatric surgery, but I am a little confused by this because the letter that I received said that you needed some more information. I just want to know if I am truly approved." "Yes. It states here that you are approved. Sometimes, we have letters that cross in the mail by mistake" "Am I approved at 100% on this? " I was still being skeptical about the whole matter. There had to be some catch. I was going to have to come up with most of the money myself. I was waiting for the other shoe to fall. You know how tricky insurance carriers can be on these things. "Let me look up the name of your surgeon to make sure she is in network." Aha. The old out of network trick. I knew there was a catch. "Yes. She is in network so this would be covered at 100%. " "100%?" "Yes." "Will I get an approval letter from you?" Yes. This letter just went out about a day ago so you should be getting this one soon. Two copies are sent out---one to your surgeon and one to you. Is there anything else that I can help you with today?" No. I am set. Thank you. You have made my day today!" I hung up the phone, and I began to cry again. This was the beginning of something big in my life. This was the beginning of the life I wanted to create for myself. This was truly a defining moment for me. Am I doing the right thing? When we start going down a path, most people begin to second guess themselves. Am I going the right way? Is this the best choice for me? I think we get these feelings because we are covering new ground. We have never been here before. There really is not a point of reference for us. We are navigating uncertain waters. It is natural to want to question ourselves at this point. I have always been a big believer in signs. I believe they exist everywhere around us. If we are open to these signs, we will be able to get messages or answers to our questions about our life. I personally believe there is a guiding force. The day the nurse called me to tell me that I had a surgery date of June 22nd I met my boyfriend that evening at a Chinese restaurant to celebrate. I still had this nagging question looming over me, "Am I doing the right thing?" I was looking for some sort of sign. I needed something to reassure me. Messages can be delivered to us in the simplest forms even in the form of a fortune cookie. I believe that our messengers have a good sense of humor as well as an affinity for Chinese food. And so my messenger that day showed up to deliver his message to me via my fortune cookie.... ***copyright Diana Bigham, 06/22/06 This is what I have written so far....write back and let me know if this is worth pursuing or if you think I am wasting my time. Is this a worthy read? Does this make you want to read more? Would you actually be interested in buying a book like this? Let me know your thoughts....I am just wondering.....again thanks for all of the support. Today has been a great day---very reflective and very emotional in a good way! I feel truly blessed.

This has been an incredible journey, and I am glad that I could share this trip with each of you! Thank you for all of the support, laughter, and tears. Here are my one year stats: Height 5 6'1/2 Weight Before Surgery: 244 Weight Today: 141 Total Pounds lost - 103 Size Before Surgery - 20/22 Sizes Today: Jeans/Pants - Size 4 and 6 Shirts - Size 2 Dress - Size 6 Measurements Today: Breast - 32 Waist - 26 1/2 Hips - 34 Calf - 15 Upper Leg - 20 Arms - 11 I am happy where I am at today. I enjoy looking in the mirror. I finally feel like the old me has returned. I am no longer depressed. I actually look forward to living my life. I have dreams again. I think in terms of possibilities. I laugh more, and I cry less. I do not live my life in fear. I am okay with rejection. I do not take things as personal as I use to when I was heavier. I believe that I have been blessed, and I am grateful for this gift. This has been a defining moment in my life. I want to live my life with purpose and meaning. It is amazing how taking off this weight has freed me not only physically but emotionally. Thank you again for sharing with me. I wish each of you a great rebirth day! Let's continue in success together. Diana