Feeling weird.

Can you relate? I've lost 152 lbs. When I was at 399 I had an easier time looking people in the eyes than now. I'm not sure I'm shy, or why. Down here in the south, we "speak" ..meaning.. if someone passes by you, you say Hi, Good morning, How are you..etc ... Nway, I've always been a friendly, outgoing person and would look folks straight in the eye. I find since I've lost weight, it is hard for me to do this now. I can remember once before when I lost weight, feeling the same way. I have had trouble w/ my B12 levels and am wondering if this could have something to do with it... or if it is just that I don't feel comfortable w/ the new me. And by me having another person still to lose, I'm wondering will I freak out when I am "thin". What about ya'll? Thanks.

I just posted about this on another thread. It is fears that are coming out of us without the protection of the fat. I am becoming much more fearful, well at least I feel the fear now that the fat is leaving. I still have 65-70 lbs to go and I worry alot about that too. I am in counseling to help sort it all out. We put up a wall with the fat and the walls are falling quickly, so we are scared. I don't have it worked out yet, but maybe counseling would help you also. I think everybody who has wls should have some counseling because you don't realize what was really the core problem until after the surgery and weight loss. Wendy

Yes, my last insurance had a great plan for therapy. I'm gonna look into it with my new plan, but I have found some support groups that are going on now, that I want to try to attend also. You hear how people get more confidence, so it is weird to get less. Thanks Wendy.

Okay - I have had a hard time with looking people in the eyes since high school. The reason? (this is crazy, I know) But, everytime I looked a guy in the eyes will talking to him, he kissed me. So, noticing that this was happening to me - I started to expirament - look at guy in the eyes....get kissed.....talk and look all around & NOT into his eyes..not kissed. The final straw was when i was talking with one of my girlfriends (feeling safe, cuz I was with one of my best friends) and I was lookin' her in the eyes while we were talking and I SWEAR she tried to kiss me. THAT WAS IT. Ever since, I have a terrible time looking people in the eyes when I talk to them. I hate it because you hear people say "you can tell when someone is lying because they don't look you in the eye or they look to the left" - WELL that's not the case with me - I've just been conditioned NOT to do it. It really stinks. I've been trying really hard to practice looking people in the eyes again - but I always get to feeling like I'm having a panic attack or something. But your problem is TOTALLY opposite - I wonder if in your case, because you have less "protection" (fat) around you to shield you, that maybe you feel a little exposed or 'out there.' Like BEFORE your excess weight covered you and was a form of modesty - so you could look people in the eye more easily because you were covered. Now, you have less to cover you - so you subconciously feel less modest - like you are revealing more about yourself when you look someone in the eye. That's my uneducated stab in the dark. Hugs, Pam

Pam, Okay first of all, that is so crazy. Wow. You must be really kissable. But I can see why you would not look anyone in the eye. I will not slow dance with anyone, cuz of a bad experience I had as a teenager. So I can relate. I think you may be right. Oddly enough, I was never a heavier person that covered up. I mean, it's hot here, so even at 399 I wore tank tops... and I still do. But I never thought of that, fat as protection. I do feel like they can see more. I think that is the feeling I have. And I can remember this when I've lost weight before. As well as, I think I realize that people look at me differently, and I don't know if I should take that as good or bad. Thanks.

I find myself avoiding eye contact because it is almost embarrassing to notice people jaws drop and start whispering to other people to verify if it is me. I also notice that if i give eye contact to someone it more often than not makes me more approachable and they stop me and ask me how i did it and all that stuff. Sometimes i do it to avoid conversations with some nosey people i just don't think i need to share my surgery with. There are people that woudn't give me the time of day when i was heavy. I have a hard time when they want to be buddy's now. I am the same person and if they didn't have much to do with me before i won't let them after.

You know what.. I feel the same way. There are people who are so interested in me now that I've lost weight. And some that treat me so much better now that I've lost weight. I actually told one guy at work that I really appreciated him, cuz he treats me just as bad now as he did before, and atleast I know he is real. You know you hear that heavy people are discriminated against and viewed differently, but you hate to really believe it, until you see it for yourself.