WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU....

thank you pam. yes, i know we share this wonderful problem! not taking the laxatives i think is a good thing for you. believe me, when you have a problem with BM's, it is very easy to fall into this when you find something you THINK "works". i have been doing better i think. i have only been having one cup of tea per night and taking my normal dose of colace. i think coming here and opening myself up to everyone has made me face facts. i am really trying. i also had my son's basketball banquet yesterday and one of the kids on his team, his grandmother was there. she works in my pcp's office. i also did talk to her about my "problem" and she made me promise to call on monday. she even said i can just ask for her and she would set things up to come in. i can understand not wanting anything to interfer with PS. do you have a date???? i am so excited for you! what are you going to do first? i have been thinking about that a lot, too. after your PS though, you also HAVE to talk to the doc about possible obstruction. i know it can take awhile for us to get regular, but cmon. this has been a very long time! hugssssssss

Mary jo... First of all i am so happy that you feel comfortable enough with us all to bring this to us. My first impression and thoughts as i read your post were that perhaps it is not that the medications are not working.. but that they have already worked and there is nothing more in there to clean out. Possibly the bloated feeling is gas that is still being created since there is nothing else left in the intestines. Maybe switch to a gas x or tums or something for a while instead of more laxatives that will only create more gas. I DEFINATLEY think you should consult your doctor, nutritionist or perhaps the phyciatrist you had to meet with prior to your surgery. You are a new person now and have different eating issues. I myself started having anxiety attacks that i NEVER had before. I spoke with my doctor and he very gently pointed out that before i had eaten all of my stress away. That now i no longer had that option and he wanted me to seek counseling to help learn new wasy to cope with my behaviors. I was sexually abused as a child and i have always felt my weight was a protective measure brought about by that. Which many people with eating disorders, often have these issues. Eating disorders wheather they are Bulemia, Anorexia or Overeating are a source of control in our lives. When we can no longer overeat as a control mechanism so we may take other measures to regain control. Bottom line the disorders can easily be interchanged to fill a deeper emotional issue. Several months ago i recall a post that you were relating the info you had gotten from the Dr's office. It was either a nurse or a nutritionist that was sort of getting on you for being too thin and losing too much weight. I remember how mad and defensive you were that this person had the gaul to tell you to stop losing weight and trying so hard. I had mixed emotions... my first thought was reading the weights that were there and being so apauled that you thought that was still too heavy. But i said to myself.. i have no idea who this person is.. she may be very thin boned and short.. maybe that is appropriate. Your pictures looked great and you still looked healthy. That combined with how upset you were about what this one lady said i knew you would not see otherwise yet. I know with our weight loss we get people who want to sabotage our loss and are happy with us at certain weights because it is more comfortable for them.. so i thought maybe that weighed in as well. That mayeb i was complaceant for you being that low because i woudl have been happy there. I made all kind of excuses in my head as to not say anything or express concern. But as time progresses and you still try to shoot even lower than your intended goal, my concerns increased. You posted some pictures that you looked so great and so thin.. but I was concerned that in your face you didn't look as healthy through your eyes as you once did. The fact that you have realized this ans see their may be a problem should send a warning of to you and perhaps you do need to see the nutritionsist once again and be a bit more open minded. I can see how it woudl be so easy for me to do the same thing.. get so excited and wrapped up in the loss that we keep going and make up for it in another way. It seems that each of us learns to control food in a different way after the surgery. Myself have turned to food storage. I can not eat it... but i can store it. I am up to almost a year supply of food for my family of seven. My husband now cooks dinner for everyone (something he never did before) We each take control of food in a different way to replace the other relationship we had with it.) The hard part is making sure it is a positive relationship with it and not replacing it with just a different problem. We have worked very hard to get were we are at... we don't need to replace it with yet another self inflicted problem. My doctor wouldn't even give me anythign for my anxiety.. he instructed me to go straight to counseling to help learn new coping mechanisms. It is kind of nice because i am finally at the point that i want to shout about my weight loss to every one taht will here i am so proud. And every one is sick of it. LOL i just do not think they understand how liberating this has been. But i know all of you guys do. And i appreciate you so much for it. It is nice to know that you guys have all been there done that bought the T shirt. I think this is one more area that as time progresses we will all find we have an issue here or there that we never thought possible. I love you and appreciate all of your efforts and care of posting you make for us and help to encourage us to make us all stronger. Thank you for being YOU!!! Paula (WOW speaking of diareahh... i guess i have it of the mouth tonight- sorry for such a long winded response)

(((paula)))) you gave me a lot to think about today. yes, i remember posting about my 6 month appt, when the NP told me i probably wouldn't lose anymore and i should start maintaining. i was 138 that day. this morning i am 119.6. now i had set 120 as my goal for me, so i thought 138 was too big. my problem now is knowing when to stop. i read other posts and think, well maybe 120 is still not the right weight for me. EXAMPLE: someone posted on the main board the other day that they are 5'7'' and their goal is 126. i thought wow, that seems small for someone who is 5 inches taller than me! so i went to the BMI scale and found that would make her BMI 19.7. in order for me to have a BMI of 19.7, i would have to weigh 108! so things like that get my mind going. btw, i don't think i would really want to weigh 108, my head tells me that is way too small. but it is just the point that i start thinking... then there is the new way of eating. i am sooo FAR from perfect when it comes to eating. sometimes i make bad choices, but when i do i find myself not wanting to eat anything the rest of the day. EXAMPLE: yesterday... B-had my ff/sf vanilla latte L-i ate a slice of bread with a piece of cheese and ate about 7 or 8 tater rounds - BAD CARBS! S-ate a string cheese then nothing. drank water and crystal light and fell asleep for about 6 hours between 3-9:45. i was just exhausted. when i woke up, the kids had made nachos, so i ate 2 of them. i felt like i should eat something because i barely ate all day, but it was too late. so, i guess there are really things i need to talk to the doc about, more than just the laxatives. thanks again, paula. i really appreciate everyone making me take a deeper look at what is/ is not going on here. hugsssssss

OK after my big long huge post.. i just have to share with you... i hate to throw up ... i can't even make myself throw up anymore. Even if i eat too big of a meal and i know i would feel better to get rid of a bit. I can't.. my body just wont let me. But now i am twisted and you have got me thinking.. HMMM laxatives.. never tried those. I just had to share to prove i really do understand how easy it coudl be. Even though your post is sort of a warning for us all... the desire for thinner is still stronger than logic. LOL I have to take glucophage for my diabetes.. and it pretty much give me diareah all the time so i usually steer clear of anything that will make it worse..But i have upped my protein so much that i may have to start.