Ravenous!

Okay, I know the difference between grazing and snacking. I know the difference between head hunger and real hunger. I think I know the difference between depression and grieving... BUT ALL OF THEM TOGETHER AT ONCE? How in the world I am even able to MAINTAIN my weight is a miracle! I find myself fighting binging... I've tried to keep up with my calories on FITDAY. ... but I find it isn't the eating so much as the "need" to eat. I may not be making sense, but I am thankful for the surgery and grateful that this binging/emotional turmoil has happened so close to surgery... otherwise I would probably balloon to an incredible size. I just keep telling myself to take a third or fourth of whatever I am craving. I can't seem to satisfy myself and it is frustrating. Grief is an incredible source of pain.

IM in that kind of mode right now but i know for me its the TOM thing sabatoging my efforts. JUSt keep being aware and im sure all will be fine. MAKE the best possible snack choices loaded with protein! all the best we all battle these issues lisa

Lisa,what is "TOM"? I see this a lot on the board. Thanks. Sharon

Hit Pat! I don't know if this will help, but since the surgery, chocolate has been something I crave. Never cared too much about it before. What I do is buy a bag of Nestles Milk chocolate chips. I checked the nutrition label. One tablespoon, or 14 grams, equals 32 chips. That is 70 calories, 8 grams of sugar, and 9 carbs. I allow myself 32 chips a day, split a couple of times a day. You let them melt in your mouth and the flavor just bursts in your mouth. It is EXTREMELY satisfying, but rich enough to where you don't want any more. You can't eat 32 chips in one mouthful---you have to split it at least in half. It's amazing how rich pure chocolate is. It completely eliminates my craving for rich foods during the day. It is a luxury I give myself every single day and it staves off any of those old binging feelings. There are SF candies by Russell Stover, and they're very good, but I can dump on just one candy because of the sugar alcohols. I think the sugar alcohol is worse than pure sugar for us. Anyway, it might help you. You feel like you're really indulging yourself because it isn't SF, it's REAL honest to goodness normal chocolate. I don't see how a person could indulge in binging after this surgery unless they lead up to it gradually. And that would require a concerted effort in that direction, and I don't see how you could find the mindset to actually carry it out. It might be that you're realllllly missing the old coping mechanisms and panicking a little bit at knowing they will no longer be available to you. Good luck, Pat! Sharon

Oh Pat, I'm sorry you are going through all of this right now. Grief can really wreak havoc on a person. I had once lost over 70 pounds (pre-op) and was working out faithfully - then my aunt was killed in a car accident. That was the end of counting calories and eating healthy and going to the gym. I retreated to my spot on the sofa, barely moved and ate everything in sight. I never recovered from that. A couple of years later, I had RNY. I allowed my grief to destroy me. Please - Pat, my wish for you is to not allow grief to destroy you. I know it's hard. In my case, someone else's life ended...but mine didn't. And my Aunt would NEVER have wanted to see my that way. She woulda busted my chops! Here's my advice to motivate you in the right direction: 1. LIVE - don't allow anyone or anything control over you. Don't give anyone or anything that kind of POWER over you. LIVE 2. Stop the binging right now. You have the power. You CAN do it!! 3. Try water loading. I read somewhere (it might have been the pouch rules) about when hunger comes back, water loading is a good technique to trick the pouch into thinking it is full like it just ate food. This might help. I know when I get antsy in the afternoon and start wanting a snack, waterloading has worked for me. It can't hurt to try! 4. Find something that releases positive endorphines that you like to do - like try joining jazzercise, or some other class, (I highly recommend GROUP activities), or dance in your living room to YOUR kind of music - these kinds of things release those "feel good" endorphines and are very effective mood enhancers. 5. Try making rules for your snacks and meals and stick to them. I have a 350 calorie limit on meals and a 100 calorie limit on snacks. I don't keep any food staring me in the face. I don't leave it out or look at it until it's time to eat. I don't buy anything that I can't or shouldn't have. 6. Try reading and posting to the "what did you eat" threads. These are helpful in keeping one on track and even gives ya some good ideas. The bottom line is, and you already know this, food will never really satisfy you because food is not the problem in the first place. You are going to have to shift your focus off the food and on to what REALLY ails you. You need to heal. Try some of the things I've mentioned. I really believe part of healing is not allowing yourself to succumb - but to become more resilient. With much love, Pam

Hey thanks! It is now the week of St. Patrick's Days and this should be over this week. I did drink a lot of tea, and put a calorie stop on my intake... it was eating at the hospital and eating with family that tended to push the envelope so to speak. I tried to "snack" on protein drinks and eat less. I think I may have reversed my weight gain to BACK at my weight I was March 1st. Three steps forward and two steps back... I'm just going to focus on outlining what I SHOULD eat rather than keeping a lid on my calories. (Easier to put my foot down and eat something I bring to the hospital than measure the calories in whatever meal is presented) By the way, girl you look GOOD!