Link to post on the mens board
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/postdetail/11247.html?vc=0
Here is a link to a post written by Dx on the mens board, I think everyone should read it.
This is a copy of my response to the thread. I think it's worth everyone ready. His post, not my reply!! This is so relevant for us! Count your blessings, ladies. Just in case you've forgotten (fat chance!) HA! I'm so funny! 
Kristie
WARNING! FEMALE IN THE LOCKER ROOM!
Hey guys! I know I'm trespassing here, but I have to speak up! A link to this strand was posted on our 06/05 message board, and I'm glad it was! We all have our little stumbles along the way, and this website has been an invaluable source of support and information. Like you guys, we've shared a lot, hopefully helping each other stay on the right road.
Your experience with that woman was so sad because she had worked so hard to go back to being the "poor victim" of her weight. What better validation that it is NOT her fault that she is so morbidly obese? I'm not going to even try to say I understand what it's like for a man with a weight issue, but I know for most of us women, weight has been a lifelong issue and is a HUGE part of our identity. The repeated failure at dieting puts so many of us into a place where we don't even hope anymore. (It took the actual surgery to reignite my hope. I didn't really start to get excited until I saw the weight peeling off post-op. I'm afraid if I'd really had to fight my insurance company, I wouldn't have persevered to have it.) It sounds like she never really "bought into" the WLS as a tool. Or she was so uncomfortable with the new her it was much easier to go back to the body she had before.
I'm only 9 mos out, too, so maybe I should say too much, but I can honestly say I have thought, at least to myself, that it would be so much easier to go back to the way things were, I'm tired of fighting, tired of being good, tired of... Then I lurk a little, comment on some things, and re-energize my efforts and get back on the road. An episode is usually really short, and not sincere, but it can be triggered by anything because I'm so often out of my "comfort zone" as my body changes and/or I run into people I haven't seen in a while. Like you said, even your PCP relates to you differenly now.
This is a big issue we have been addressing over and over again on our board about how to 1) adjust our self images to see the new us, 2) deal with the reactions we get as "hotties" (really strange after all these years), and 3) find a way to be comfortable in an alien body without falling back into those comforting behaviors.
If only more people took advantage of the support, information, and acceptance offered on these boards, maybe there would be fewer people like her. I'm still learning, and am now teaching my daughter (10) about the most important things I've learned through this journey: moderation and exercise. These may be the most important things I'll ever teach her. (She just came through to excitely report she's lost two pounds this week. Her pediatrician wants her to lose 17 lbs. - no, I'm not projecting.)
Before WLS, it was almost impossible for me to keep myself on a diet long enough to see any real results.
I guess my point is that your story reminds me that "there, but for the Grace of God, go I" and many others. Keep sharing your stories and helping all of us as we continue on our journeys!
Kristie
250/155/135
Kristie
WARNING! FEMALE IN THE LOCKER ROOM!
Hey guys! I know I'm trespassing here, but I have to speak up! A link to this strand was posted on our 06/05 message board, and I'm glad it was! We all have our little stumbles along the way, and this website has been an invaluable source of support and information. Like you guys, we've shared a lot, hopefully helping each other stay on the right road.
Your experience with that woman was so sad because she had worked so hard to go back to being the "poor victim" of her weight. What better validation that it is NOT her fault that she is so morbidly obese? I'm not going to even try to say I understand what it's like for a man with a weight issue, but I know for most of us women, weight has been a lifelong issue and is a HUGE part of our identity. The repeated failure at dieting puts so many of us into a place where we don't even hope anymore. (It took the actual surgery to reignite my hope. I didn't really start to get excited until I saw the weight peeling off post-op. I'm afraid if I'd really had to fight my insurance company, I wouldn't have persevered to have it.) It sounds like she never really "bought into" the WLS as a tool. Or she was so uncomfortable with the new her it was much easier to go back to the body she had before.
I'm only 9 mos out, too, so maybe I should say too much, but I can honestly say I have thought, at least to myself, that it would be so much easier to go back to the way things were, I'm tired of fighting, tired of being good, tired of... Then I lurk a little, comment on some things, and re-energize my efforts and get back on the road. An episode is usually really short, and not sincere, but it can be triggered by anything because I'm so often out of my "comfort zone" as my body changes and/or I run into people I haven't seen in a while. Like you said, even your PCP relates to you differenly now.
This is a big issue we have been addressing over and over again on our board about how to 1) adjust our self images to see the new us, 2) deal with the reactions we get as "hotties" (really strange after all these years), and 3) find a way to be comfortable in an alien body without falling back into those comforting behaviors.
If only more people took advantage of the support, information, and acceptance offered on these boards, maybe there would be fewer people like her. I'm still learning, and am now teaching my daughter (10) about the most important things I've learned through this journey: moderation and exercise. These may be the most important things I'll ever teach her. (She just came through to excitely report she's lost two pounds this week. Her pediatrician wants her to lose 17 lbs. - no, I'm not projecting.)
Before WLS, it was almost impossible for me to keep myself on a diet long enough to see any real results.
I guess my point is that your story reminds me that "there, but for the Grace of God, go I" and many others. Keep sharing your stories and helping all of us as we continue on our journeys!
Kristie
250/155/135 
Sandra,
Thanks for finding this and posting a link! What a great reminder that this is a tool and not a magic wand! I can't tell you how many people I've had to set straight who say "Oh you took the easy way out...." Yeah right 6 hours on an operating table having my stomach cut in half and a month of recover and a life time of change eating habits and exercise is the "easy way" out..... I've just decided to stop explaining it and yell right back in their face "Bite my ass, you idiot!!!!" Geezes can you sound any more angry, Chip?????
Thanks again,
Chip
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