Fighting with Myself!

Debra, Hun that book is just awesome though over the last 4 days I have not read it at all with all the other things going on. but it really is a great book. You can not find it at Borders or any other place except the place that wrote it, that link that Lisa had posted! thanks again hun Debra P

OK.... take a deep breath.....let it out...... I think every last one of us has had bad food days... making the wrong choices.... I sure have. We just have to bru**** off and realize that what we just did is in the past already. We need to forgive ourselves and move on. Hold onto to your hat....here comes the motivation.... Every second of every day we make a choice on how we want to live, how we want our lives to go, where we want our lives to go... We make a choice every second of every day on how we are going to live in that second....and beyond.... WHAT or WHO rules what you are doing this very second? YOU. You could turn off your computer. Go to the bathroom. Make tea. Read. Go through the mail....what are you chosing to do this very second? The thing is ... only YOU can rule this second of your life. YOU HAVE THE POWER! For example: When I was with my exhusband, things were so bad for so long. But I was determined to make my marriage work. I was miserable. Absolutely miserable. He was worthless. He wouldn't work. We were bankrupt. We didn't have sex for periods of six months or more. I wanted to commit suicide. We were so poor, we would go to fast food restaraunts to steal toilet paper because we couldn't afford it. One day, it hit me: My life is going this way because I am allowing it. I got my stuff straight. I found a full-time job. Got an insurance license. Lost weight. Bought a car. Paid the bills. I took care of everything. No more depending on anyone or anything else. Then, I looked at my marriage. I thought to myself, "I'm 26 years old. Is this how I want the rest of my life to go?" "What's the alternative?" Knowing that I had the power in that very moment to either live the way I had been.... or make a new life for myself and my children... that was a MIGHTY moment. That was when I realized that I HAD THE POWER! I had it all along. I left him. Divorced him. Best decision I ever made.... but that's a whole other long story. I'm not trying to be high and mighty.... I'm trying to motivate you. Feel that great big ball of fire in you.... that's POWER. Today, that little food demon was all over me. Reece's peanut butter cups....the little ones. I ate one. A couple of hours later, I ate another one. I reached for another one and froze. I said "I caught you - you little mother joker! I don't need you. No way. I have more power than you do. You can just sit in that candy dish for the next victim." and I left it. It's that demon that got us into this mess that we have to learn to exercise our power over him! We've got it. We've got the power. We can say NO to anything we want to! You can DO IT! When we sabotage ourselves, we are succumbing to stress and depression....it's self destructive behavior. You are your very own project right now. I am my big project right now. We have a lot to work on. Our minds, our response to temptation, our response to stress and depression and soo sooo much more. We need to exercise (and I'm preaching to myself all over the place here). We've already lived life without it. We see how that goes. Now, do we want the rest of our days to go that way? HECK NO! So, let's bust out that POWER to decide - to CHANGE anything we want to - and go for it! I was having the same problem with exercising. It was boring. I felt stupid at the gym by myself on the machines. So, I tried a class - Kickboxing no less! I felt stupid when I got there....almost walked out. But I took charge of my mind and said "NO - you are going to do this." I wondered WHY I felt stupid... it was because I was afraid of failing, quitting or being ridiculed by anyone. So, I spoke up right up front of everyone "I've never done this before. I don't know if I can do it, but I'm gonna give it one hell of a try." You know what happened? I found out that everyone in that room is battling the same demon. Just admitting it to them, made me some friends and I felt comfortable in the room. I messed up all over the place...I did my best to keep up... I made it all the way through the class. I felt soo good when it was over. I WON that battle. I can't wait to go to the next class! Okay, I'm done writing a book here. I don't know if any of this helped... but this is how I talk to myself. I always have to remind myself of the power within. I always have to push myself or force myself to do something. I need constant motivation...and when I can't find it...I make it up. Make up one motivating statement every day. Hugs, Pam

Pam, THANK you so much for THAT! I will work on my self motivation with a phrase every day! I really like that idea. I know it takes time to learn this new way and for so long it has been the old unhealthy way so I have to give this time and not get myself down! THANKS AGAIN! Debra P

Debra i think i can say ditto to everythgin you said as well as the other posts. I am having the same feelings and concerns with myself. I do notice that when i go to fitday.com and post all that i ate it helps me to understand more when i am screwing up. I think with myself i have lived a life so long with portions that were out of control that i had no clue how bad my eating really was. I do enjoy watching the calories add up on fitday because it helps me to understand where i am putting the unneeded calories in my diet at. posting on line helps us to be more accountable. But i think when i track the actual calories on line and i add servings and watch the numbers grow it helps me to learn better. Just a thought. paula

Paula, Yes I do use Fitday all the time and I can really see how I am doing which is a good thing to help stay one track. I think I am eating ok but sometimes have to many carbs as I seem to crave them a lot. It will work out I am sure because I really do NOT want to go back to my unhealthy way of life that is for sure! Thanks so much for your words of support, they mean so much to me Debra P

Thank you EVERYONE, you all are such a great support system without you guys this process would not happen. THANKS AGAIN! Debra P