Where is the euphoria???

Hi Junies, I feel fantastically successful, but lately I am just not feeling that old excitement about losing weight that I felt prior to the holidays. At Thanksgiving I met my milestone goal of 100 pounds down and am working toward the next milestone of 150 pounds down. I miss the old days of feeling self-confident proud, excited and obsessed about my weight loss. It has become sort of just another chore. I know I'm at a place where I need to go out and buy smaller clothes because what I bought at Christmas is no longer fitting, but this doesn't excite me. My goal at 150 pounds off is a new Vespa motor scooter, and there's a question in my mind of whether or not I'll be able to afford it. I'll know when I get my taxes done tomorrow night, depending on the size of the refund. That's not as big a deal as the fact that I seem to have lost the excitement and self-pride that comes from this accomplishment. It's like I'm forgetting how far I've come. I was just thinking yesterday about how many times I go up and down the stairs at work, and how a year ago I actually planned my trips into the basement so I could minimize that task daily. This and many other things its like I'm forgetting where I came from! Maybe its just the time of year, winter is full of blahs, and I'm experiencing some negativity and self-doubt at work. There is that lingering grief over the loss of my brother which is still in the picture. I know that in the past when this happened I'd just stuff those feelings down with food. Now I can no longer do that, so I'm just working on getting through, you know? I know I will come across as some kind of shallow narcissistic chick but I need to get excited again! Any suggestions? Yours in pounds down, Jen -128

Jennifer, I am in a funk myself right now so it will be hard for me to offer advice but know that you are not alone, I am down 108 lbs and I do not get excited like I used to as well. I think it has to do with the outer world stresses and I see you have some as well so lets just get through this time and see how it goes. Today is a really bad day for me and I also forget where I have come from. I am feeling FAT and cranky, I can not even blame it on T.O.M. because I just got over that. Maybe you are right about the Winter taking its toll. What ever it is, let stick together and we will make it through. Debra P

I think you will find those of us who are lurking more than posting are having the same struggle during this time. Suddenly food taste better, the pouch is not so grouchy and the mind wants us to feed the body with or without real hunger. LOL What are you doing to fight this? HELP!!!!!!!!

Im another that fits this description too..... ITS getting harder to loose... I worry im going back to my old eating ways. I can eat more. MORE food agrees with me.... and its frustrating. ITS funny how we all go thru these blues together, i thought this was me i havent been posting tons due to this. We all need the exictement back some how. SURE wish we could all magically have a month were we loose 1 pound a day like those new first months. ONLY thing i would like to suggest to everyone... and its from a bariatric weight loss book im reading is try to DO some positive self talk daily and the start of our day! I am gonna try that. EVEN if im gonna say "hey i look good today. TODAY i will not snack on unhealthy foods....im gonna give this method a try the book says it will help our day Well lets keep gabbing and find ways to beat this. WE have to be obsessive to continue to keep our foods as a priority i think... LISA

Hi Lisa! What is the name of the book that you are reading??? Would you recommend it to all of us who are struggling right now??? I am another one who is experiencing all the concerns discussed on this post... I have not updated my file or posted anything in quite a while do to my lack of enthusiasm and fear of failure. I worry daily as to whether I am eating too much, if my pouch is getting too big, if I'm choosing wise foods to eat, etc. I have managed to lose 142 lbs. total, and 121 lbs. since my surgery in June. So, I know that I am doing well enough.... however, like most of us, haven't seen the scale move in the last month or so. Perhaps 2-3 lbs. at most. I know that I got off track at Christmas while endulging in all the sugar-free chocolates... and, it's been REALLY hard trying to wean myself from these (I crave chocolate most everyday!). I also worry about the need to continually have something in my mouth at all times!!!! Like sugar-free peppermints, etc. Is it habit??? Or, do I have some psychological issue going on here?!? Thanks for "listening"... let me know about that book! Please take care. Karen

You have had other factors to make you feel down. You have done great on the weight loss. Try to stay positive even though its rough sometimes. I have so much support at work. I work with mostly guys and yesterday I had a bad day. I felt so *****y. They all wanted to know whats wrong, I just said a bad day. They kept coming over to me asking if I was alright because its not like me to be unhappy. Then they said well you must know how much we care about you because we are concerned when you feel bad. That made my day and I felt better after that. It helps to have good friends and co workers. This site also helps. I dont post much, but I get on here as much as I can to read how everyone else is doing. I am so proud of everyone. I hope you feel that same excitement soon. It is such a good feeling as you already know..Take care

You guys are AWESOME! I really appreciate the fact that some of you guys are going through the same thing. Who knows. Maybe its part winter blahs, maybe its I know I need new clothes but can't afford any right now, maybe it was the other stuff. At any rate, I dug in hard on some projects at work today and had some teriffic support from my boss, who helped me get focused and honed in on a few things. That encouragement really helped me, but not as much as the kind words I've read here! One thing I really wish I could escape is the grief over my brother. I mean its so pervasive. Every mere second I let my mind wander it goes over to my loss. The instant I wake up, the last thing before I fall asleep, in the car to and from work...I am pretty good at putting those feelings on a shelf while AT work. I have made a "grief CD" of songs that contain the messages I want to tell myself, and I listen to it constantly. My favorite song on the CD is "Pretty Angry" by Blues Traveler. It sums up how I'm feeling exactly and puts in to words the things I can't say...it helps me understand my feelings. Amazing. When I first heard the song six weeks ago I couldn't listen to it without crying. I was at work and had to leave the office because I couldn't control my emotions. Now I love to belt it out, feeling the anger and sadness in the song and releasing it full tilt. Gosh. Talk about stream of consciousness but I think I needed to say that paragraph above to get it out of me. It's not related to my weight loss, but I'm thinking that like my weight loss, and like some of you guys suggested, I need to compare my progress and see the benchmarks. I was also thinking today that this weight-loss thing is not just about losing weight, it's learning new patterns. I can't stuff my feelings down anymore and when something's bothering me, I need to feel it. That isn't so fun. But as I get more familiar with this, I'll learn how to cope! Ok onward and upward! I'm so grateful for this board - you guys are AWESOME! Yours in pounds down, Jen

You know Jen, I think the end of winter has part to do with it. This is the time of year when I just want to hibernate in my cave, snuggle in sweaters, next to the fireplace and go nowhere and do nothing. Maybe you just need to add one new "thing" to do.... something you couldn't do before... be daring... For me, it was going to an exercise class and finding out that I could make it through the whole thing without giving up or passing out. I forgot how good those natural endorphines feel after a good workout...and the feeling of accomplishment. But I wonder if there is more... where you are concerned. I know you are grieving the loss of your brother. I think it's good what you are doing with that CD...it's shows you are making progress with the grief. Have you ever gone to someone to talk about it? I know this is a sensitive area to touch on, but I wonder if you might feel guilty about celebrating the joys in your life because you are grieving over your brother? Like, maybe you feel like you shouldn't be celebrating during a time like this? Does that make sense? I'm thinking your brother would want you to celebrate your accomplishments and feel alive again. I hope I didn't go to far with that....but hope it helps somehow. Hugs, Pam

By the looks of everyones posts we are all of like minds. I have friends who are further out and say it is all part of the porcess. Their comments have been earlier when we thought we were at a plateau we really had no idea what plateauing was yet. The weight has started slwoing down for us all... but as long as it keeps moving down we are still headed toward out goal. Maybe it is time for us to start focusing more on fitness goals. Maybe that will give us something more positive to focus on. Paula

Hi Jen!!! Boy can I relate to what you are saying here... I too am worried about where I am at emotionally with food (please refer to my reply to Lisa's post on this thread). It really scares me because we have all come WAY TOO FAR to allow ourselves to backslide. I suppose this is the time when we all need to really reach out to folks... as "hybernating/retreating from others" usually only makes us feel worse and that becomes a vicious cycle. So, where I too have been lurking, I should be getting on here and posting more often. It's just that sometimes I am so caught up in my own "funk" that I don't even know how to sort out my emotions and describe them to others.... then, there is the "not wanting to pull others down with you" syndrome. Have you tried journaling all of your "WOW" moments??? I started a combination photo album/journal when I began this process.... every now & again I pull it out and read some of my comments. It's really amazing to realize the milestones that we have made along the way and especially impressionable when I take time to read over past "WOW" moments. I think that we all too easily forget these things... especially when the stressors of life start getting us down. Plus, I think that it really helps to write these things down. It really gives us a better perspective on how far we've come. I don't know about you, but, my memory does not serve me well, even under the best of conditions. I hope this helps!!! You are a very special person and I hate to hear that you are going through this rough time. Please continue to reach out to others!!! Somehow, we will all get through this together. Please take care!!!! Hugs, hugs & more hugs, Karen 320/179/???