Creepy wls moment!

I posted this on the Michigan board also, but want you all to give me your ideas on this too. I had my tax appointment this week. I have known my accountant for 5 years and he has never so much as looked my way twice. He checked me out the whole time I was there. I mean talking to the chest and everything! I am not sure I am ready for this kind of thing. It freaked me out! I still have 80 lbs to go and I am getting attention from men that I don't want. Has anyone else had this experience? In one way I am happy I look better, but in another I am so used to hiding in the background I feel like a chicken at a hawk convention! I am not a prude and love to look good for my husband, bought some "hottie" outfits for Florida and all to get his attention, but I am scared of this kind of thing. I am used to being the fat chick in the corner that opens her own doors and pushes her own car to the side of the road when it breaks down. Men are much more helpful to smaller women. Any helpful advice on this one people? Wendy

I had a creepy moment last night also. I was riding with my sister to see Bon Jovi and this guy in a truck was beside us in traffic. I looked over and saw him and I naturally smiled(because I always smile at people) and apparently he took that as some sort of invitation, he kept following us in traffic and trying to get my attention. Ewww.what a creepy feeling. I like you am not used to that. I guess I will have to be more careful who I smile at from now on. But on a good note I fit into a size 14 jeans this morning. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lynn P.S. Bon Jovi was awesome!

Yeah on the 14's!!! Can't wait til I get there. And I am very friendly also and it is hard to let guys know that you aren't flirting. I don't want to wear a bag over my head! Wendy

Hi Wendy, Yes, I do get attention from men in which I have no interest in because I am married too and have no intention of flirting around either, but I do like to wear a little more risky clothing too. When a man tries to strike up a conversation with me I usually throw in "my husband and I" early in the conversation to get the point across in a friendly way...they usually get the point and if not I continue to add the wording "my husband" into the conversation again. You can tie your husband into any conversation you could have with anyone. Always take pride in the compliments you get and let it make you feel good about yourself because you deserve it, just give them a smile and say thank you very much and continue on your way this is also a kind way to show you are not interested but appreciate the compliment! Hope this helps... Tina

Thank you Tina, I know this will be a good tactic with flirts. I LOVE my husband and don't want any misconception ever! It's just weird having people look at me in general. I am so used to being background fodder. When you are really fat, people act like they can't look at you or they will catch what you've got! So I learned to not look back. Wendy

Wendy, I know how you feel, I think that is one reason why I kept myself so heavy in the past was because I did NOT want all that attention, some flirty smiles and hellos are nice but the really creepy ones freak me out and I have to deal with it because I do not want to ruin this! I also have to stop myself from getting angry because you that really upsets me that some men will only help the smaller women! These are all things we have to deal with since losing the weight. Just smile and take it a a compliment, if they become really nasty/creepy then make a joke about looking at my face not my body... Well I guess this will come with practice. ~hugs~ Debra P

Wendy, I've noticed the same thing lately. It's BIZARRE! At first I didn't realize what was going on...but then I started getting these "looks" and comments from men around me. I freaked about it too...I'm so accustomed to being the invisibile piece of furniture... I'm not use to being looked at and approached like THAT! I stopped at 7-11 one morning to get a cup of hot tea. When I pulled up, I parked next to a car with a man in it. The man was eating the sandwich that he had just purchased in 7-11. When I pulled up... he threw his sandwich down, got out of his car and ran to the door of 7-11 to open the door for me. THAT freaked me out. I brought a great big picture of my husband in to work and put it on my desk....and put individual pictures of each of my 5 children up in my cubicle. And I pull the same trick as mentioned above...mentioning "my husband and I" or "Mike and I" ...or I throw out something about my 5 children... If the husband part doesn't get them...the 5 children part usually gives the pucker factor affect I'm looking for! Sometimes, it is scarey. I never worried that someone would attack me ... you know how you read about women being abducted and whatever... Now I actually look around me to make sure there are plenty of people around and avoid sketchy places where something like that could happen. It's just bizarre... Pam

That is it Pam! I feel vulnerable! I was dwelling on it after my post and realized what a protective cushion the fat is. Nobody bothers you or notices you, you dissappear, it is strange that the bigger you get the less people see you. I know about disgusted looks, but I never expected less than that. I felt I deserved those. This is all so psychological, I decided I would go see the therapist for awhile. I realized that I am scared to be thin. I have actual fears and phobias around it that I did not realize I had. I don't know why though and maybe therapy would help. Thanks for your reply's all of you. Wendy

Go Wendy! If you are feeling vulnerable, therapy may be good for you. I mean, its hard to adjust to the new people we are becoming...integrating the old baggage with our new selves. It's kind of like we have mind clutter from a lifetime of fat habits, coping mechanisms and skills...and now just like cleaning out our clothes closets and purging the old fat clothes we have to purge the old habits that no longer fit and develop some new coping mechanisms! I have had men pay more attention to me and I've had discussions about this with friends. I feel so much more self-confident that I seem to handle these issues gracefully. I kind of take it in stride. Some days this attention makes me angry, and some days I recognize how much better I feel about myself and that I'm tossing out a good "vibe" that naturally draws others, both men and women, to me. I appreciate this thread, because I too have been thinking about therapy. My brother died two months ago and I am having a terrible time integrating that into my progress. I was always the sick one, preparing for an early grave. Then I drastically improve my health, life is good, and BAM he unexpectedly dies. Now I'm the only one left. It's just me and my dad, my mom died 16 years ago. My last conversation with my brother was about how good I looked and how happy he was for me. Reading this thread has made me reflect on how little satisfaction I've been taking in my progress since this event. I deserve that pride and satisfaction. I deserve to feel a sense of accomplishment every time I exercise. I need to celebrate and its time to buy a new pair of jeans because the ones I have are too big! Grief is a big part of my life right now but so is what I'm doing for myself - and I deserve to feel some joy about it! Thanks for posting Wendy - and do what you need to do so you are in a good place. The weight loss is great but how you feel about yourself and how you handle things is priceless! Yours in pounds down, Jen -126

Thanks Jen, I too have lost my brothers. One 18 years ago and one 3 years ago. I miss them as much today as I did when they first died. I was just talking to my husband about this last night. It has alot to do with my relationships with men. I won't go into details, but it is very relavent how you deal with your grief. Please don't repress it. I have a counseling appt. for this Tuesday. I have alot of insight into what is going on, but I don't know how to deal with it. I hope they can help me. Wendy