Mom worried I'm getting "anorexic" !

Today, my mom made a comment about me "getting anorexic." I'm 5'8", 184 pounds and I wore a size 10 pair of Liz Claiborne jeans today for the first time in decades. I think that's what prompted the comment. She swore before the surgery that I would never be able to get below a size 14 because that's the smallest she's ever been. I'm still 40+ pounds over my college weight and am certainly not skinny. I'm much more toned than I was in college, and feel I will look better even though I will be a higher weight when I reach my goal of 150. My family members are all relatively large and I'm probably now the "lightest" one. Is anyone else getting this type of feedback from family members? How do you handle it? FYI: I'm NOT worried about getting too skinny and am happy to stop at my goal. HW 315 SW 306 CW 184 GW 150

hi kim. i understand where you are coming from. i get the comments, too. from family, from co-workers. i have had a real problem with going to the bathroom since surgery and i take laxatives from time to time. my mom makes comments that i am taking them to lose weight. i get comments about not eating enough..."here, do you want a piece of lettuce" comments. gets kind of annoying, but i think people are just so used to seeing us ONE way. i try not to debate the comments too much, i rather ignore them! hugs~mary jo

Mary Jo, Thanks for the info on your experiences. I guess it's true that people will be insensitive not matter what stage of weight loss (or gain) that someone may be in. Maybe they just don't WHAT to say besides the obvious "You look great!" Ignoring them seems to be a good course of action. The funniest thing I've come across is waiters/waitresses who seem genuinely offended that I did not clean my plate. They seem worried that something was wrong with the food! I don't feel obligated to explain to everyone I meet that I've had WLS, so I just say "It was delicious, but I've had enough to eat." If it's something that will reheat, of course I get a "doggie" bag. God bless, Kim

HEY MARY JO... sorry to hear you still have the bathroom issues. MANY go thru it after surgery. IT actually came up at my surgeons last pre op meeting and many people swear by a tea product called SMOOTH MOVE.... sold at GNC...they say have a cup of it before bed and by morning you will go...and not in a cramp emergency type of way. ITS worth the try i cant imagine takeing laxatives all the time to be healthy. MAYBE give this product a try. ALSO this week someone on this board posted to someone else about the tea~ GOOD LUCK lisa PS: i cant wait for people to tell me i look TO SKINNY!

hi lisa! yes, still having trouble. well, today i broke down and bought some dried prunes. YUCK! but i have been told if you eat one or two a day, it will help you go. so...i am going to try it. i already ate one, it wasn't too tasty, but a better alternative than laxatives if it works! if not, i will try the smooth move tea. thanks for the tip! hugsssssss

Kim, Ya gotta love this new problems we have, LOL. I think people have just gotten so used to us being bigger that now a size 10 looks "too small." I know exactly how you feel, I'm in a size 10 now also, and have also heard the too skinney remarks. But would anyone ever say 175 or 184 is too skinny or anorexic? Never!!! I was the smallest in my family BEFORE I had the surgery so just imagine the remarks I get, LOL I may change my goal weight but only because "I" think I may not like myself at the lower weight. I have never worn an 8 and don't think I want to go any lower than that. Good luck and keep up the good work!! HW 250 SW 235 CW 175 GW 150/160?

Congrats on your progress!!! Getting down to an 8 would be a little freaky for me too. The odd thing is I'm a good 40 pounds heavier than when I wore a 10 back in the 1980s. Today, I tried on some of those old clothes from the 80s and many of them do not fit. Also: I have a size 13 from high school and I can't even get them over my hips. I also have an 11/12 suit with the same problem: the legs are too narrow. (Maybe that also has to do with difference between junior and misses sizes.) I know I need to get down to a truly healthy weight (one that's not considered medically overweight.) Wearing all the cool clothes now is gravy

I have heard similar remarks. More along the lines of "How will you stop losing?" Even though I still weigh 188 lbs. I know I do not look as though I weigh this much, I have always carried my weight "well", I guess that is how to say it...Never looked as heavy as I was...But I also am wearing clothes that I was wearing when I weighed more like 165-170ish (size 13/14). And these are the actual pants (you know how we always say we will wear those old clothes in the attic that we just can't part with? I actually can!)so I know it has nothing to do with the "new" sizing. I can't figure it out either? I definitly don't look as fit and thin as I used to, so I don't know how these things fit. I do wonder if I am trading one eating problem for another. I do worry that when I stop losing I may have problems. You know how we look forward to seeing a lower and lower number on the scale. I fear my reaction when it remains the same or increases even slightly. Laura

>I do wonder if I am trading one eating problem for another. I do worry that when I stop losing I may have problems. You know how we look forward to seeing a lower and lower number on the scale. That's so true. And the compliments are pouring in now. I wonder how I'll feel when they stop? (I know I certainly don't go around telling normal weight people that they look great!) Something to thinki about. I know my surgeon has support groups for patients 18 months and out -- I think they address issues like these.

I am glad you posted this. My mom told me the other day that I am getting too skinny. She asked me where my boobs went? She says that I should stop trying to lose weight. Some coworkers have also said things to me. I don't think I am too skinny. I am wearing a size 8 now. I am 5 6 1/2. I now weigh 156.5. My goal weight is 138. I would like to wear a size 6. I think it is because people are use to seeing us so large that it seems weird to them. Or maybe most American are overweight so people have forgotten what a normal weight really looks like. I think most people are 20 to 25 pounds over weight---and people are starting to view this as "normal". So when we get closer to being a normal weight I guess we seem "abnormal". How strange is this? All I know is I feel great and I love to shop!