Fall off the wagon???? I did....

I know I'm really hard on myself when i break the rules. But you know what? There's no sense in beating ourselves up over it. Every last one of us is prone to do it at some point. We just gotta shake it off and start again. I started falling into it with one of my closest friends. She talked about having the surgery for years and never did it. Suddenly, when i had it, she was totally against it. It has been hard for her to see me losing weight. Part of it was that i was always the larger one.....that made her feel more comfortable in her skin. I know that's what it is because she had a slip of the tongue one day and said "Now I'M the fattest one in the office." (now you know this hurt my feelings....but it made me understand her more too) This slip of the tongue came during a period where she always wanted to have lunch with me. I believed it was because she didn't want to lose our freindship over this and was genuinely touched....so I went. It took me a few weeks to catch on to what was really happening. What was really happening, was she had pinpointed my weaknesses. If we went to the mexican joint - i would eat wayyyyy more than I needed to because it was sooooooo good.....I wouldn't stop until I was stuffed. She knew I couldn't resist the chips and salsa... and it was the same with all the other places she would pick. Then I noticed that she seemed to be encouraging me to eat...kind of smirking...but trying to hide it....it was like she wanted me to follow her lead.... OMG!!! I felt like such an idiot. I'm not sure she knew herself that she was trying to sabotage my weight loss.....or maybe she did. BUT I WAS FALLING FOR IT!!! So, I changed tactics. I went back to measuring and eating protein first. I ordered a box with my meal and packed up all but 3/4 cup of food. When she suggested a place where i knew i would be challenged, i said "No, I'm just going to Wendy's for chili" or "I brought my lunch." I caught myself. I was eating until i was stuffed! WHAT WAS I THINKING??? One of the beauty's of this surgery was not being hungry and i was not taking advantage of that tool. Another beauty of this surgery was having limited space for food and i was pushing the limits. You know what I found out when i got back on track? I found out that I felt so much better stopping at 1/2 to 3/4 cup of food than i did when i was stuffed. It wasn't going to be my last meal. Even though i probably COULD eat a whole small chili....I didn't have to....i could eat half. I wasn't going to be hungry a few hours later. My tools still worked WONDERFULLY. I was still a success. And you know what else? Being the stronger person has prevented the "not so innocent" friends from being so pushy. The bottom line is: In our previous life, getting back on track was so very hard as we were on our own. Now, we have these great tools. We just have to take advantage of what we have working for us. Are we gonna mess up? YUP. Are we gonna eat something we regret at some point? YUP. Are we gonna dust it off and get back on track? HELL YUP! I'm convinced that TOGETHER we will all make it through! Pam 250/157/??

Dear Pam, You are SO RIGHT!!! I have a bf (do you still call them bf if they are 70 yrs old?)who is ALWAYS encouraging me to eat!!! We used to go for dinner several nights a week and now I am happier at home most night where I know the ingredients and can also control the portions. I've lost 80 pounds in 6 months and now he tells me he's lost 15 without WLS. I am on track and will not let ANYONE get me off. If I backslide like I did the other night with potato pancakes, my pouch tells me and I can then stop, and go back to protein, water,water,water. Love, Betsy

Sure... I think you can call them a bf no matter what the age! I have another bff that I have been friends with for over 20 years.....I think she has moved over to sisterhood. or some other kind of relative.... And you know what else....LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY WE ARE SAVING!!! Lunch with friend: $10 Lunch at Wendy's: $1.25 Pack a lunch of leftovers from dinner: ~pennies~ RIGHT ON!!! Pam

Pam, How inspiring!! You are right on... It is you that controls you, not your friend and you can do it girl!!!! What a positive and upbeat message. I love it. Thanks Pam!! Jo

THANK YOU PAM!!!!!!!!!!!I needed that pep talk!!!!!!! I wanna do this right , i got to quite messing up!!!!!!!!!!!! DAWN 271/188/160-maybe oneday!!!!!

WOW that sounds alot like my older sister she hates that I'm not the "Biggest one" anymore and that she is "bigger" we are only a year apart and she can't even hide how bitter she is. My poor mother is always getting upset with her attitude and the fact that she keeps saying I took the easy way out ::rolls eyes:: If I had a dollar for everytime I heard that one sheeesh. I'm really bad with eating till I'm full and I need to slow it down but eating slower has been hard for me. I need to take charge and watch it more, I have my good days and bad but I seem to be okay with telling my sister no when she waves candy and ice cream in my face. I loved your post!

Way to go Pam!!! Rock on Girl!! Beverly GirlNextDoor_

That was a great story. My husband is sort of that way. He sometimes gets mad at me when we go out to eat. Like last night we went to Michaels Deli and normally I order a sub but I was feeling like a salad. So I order a grilled chicken salad with light Ranch dressing. It was so good. He got mad at me cause we paid like $7.00 for it and I only ate like a few bites cause I was stuffed. He kept saying I cant believe that I paid that much for a salad that you only ate two bites out of. I tried explaining to him that I cant eat untill I feel like my stomach is going to burst. He just doesnt quite understand I guess. Somethings I can eat more of and others I can only eat two bites of. ITs weird. I also feel guilty alot because I waste so much food. Expecially when we go out to eat. I try to order off of the kids menu alot but alot of what is on a kids menu is all fried and greasy. I get sick off of that stuff. Men what are we gonna do with them..lol Brittany

Pam- I am over here spying at what life will be like in 2 more months...... but I had to say, what a great post. I needed to hear that today. Thank you-