I AM SO ANNOYED BY THIS...

tiff, don't you dare change anything in your profile! it is YOUR profile and YOUR feelings, and they are just as valid as this woman/s feelings. no one is forcing her to take down what she has in her profile, because even though when i read it i got pretty ticked off, that is still her feelings. keep everything just as it is hun! hugssssss

I dont know hard....... YOU know we are all in the same boat and were morbidly obesete or we wouldnt have been eligible for the surgury. I will add someone at 250 and maybe about 5'2 in height is feeling and looking like a 300 lbs 5'5 person. We are all the same OBESITE and need our tools to achive our great health. ITS hard but i guess some people consider the profile a personal journal and loose track others read it and can get hurt by words. its hard. BUT glad you got our your anger in here then waste your time EMAILING the person you saw the profile of...hope i said this right im not sure if this post came out right... WELL (((HUG)) maryjo !!! LISA 310/204/???

THANKS mary jo yes its a sllllllllllllllloooooo creep to the onederland gates. I feel i been in the single 200's digits forever now. I am 2 days TOM now and the appetitie is better and the weight drops at this time for me. HOPEING to cross over this hurdle next week. EVEN thru the strawberries and nuts thing in this week and it helped i think.... Well thanks for noticing.... i think i have everyone on the edge of there seats routing me over this darn hurdle. I just hope i am happy when there i am still pretty plagued with depression. THANKS lisa

Obviously I can relate to how this woman feels cuz I started out with a BMI over 64...but, I also relate to what is referred to as the "lightweights" and for this reason. When I was younger, and weighed say 225, I can remember feeling I was huge. I never felt worthy of anything and even when I got down to 165, I still wore a size 18. I look at those pics now and wonder what was I thinking, I looked great. Now, at my highest weight, just this year, I thought I was hott. I didn't like my health issues, or my weight bearing problems, but I thought I was pretty and looked okay. Now, that I look at the before pics, I think, my word, I was that big. I didn't have a clue before. So, I do understand ya'll thinking you are "huge"..however to make references like whale, well one insulting themselves is never appealing to me anyway. I can see where someone with low self esteem would twist the comment around, but I would view it as that is how that person felt about themselves, not me. I feel we are all in the same boat, and although you may only have to lose a 3rd of what I have to lose, your battle is just as important as mine. I would say the only difference in us is this... however, no one has ever offended me on this board concerning these issues... those of us whose BMIs were/are that high...have experienced not fitting into chairs, maybe even breaking chairs when we sit in them, being turned away from rides cuz of our weight, even now I have to request not to be put in a booth at restaurants cuz I still can't fit in most, not even being able to find clothes at the large woman's stores, having other heavy people insult us...this is just to name a few. These are things, that when I talk to my other friends, they cannot relate too, cuz even though they were obese, they have never been Super Super Obese like I was. However, that doesn't make me defensive, or dislike them cuz they didn't suffer as much. I am thankful they didn't. Sometimes people lash out at "easy targets", and unfortunately, with that lady's statement, "lightweights" were an easy target. We don't all feel that way.

Not that I'm trying to stir this back up, but I've had experiences kind of like this, too, and it really is hurtful. One particular instance occurred at my first local support group meeting. There was a woman who started out over 500 lbs and is now down to about 110. She made several remarks about what a waste it was for someone like me (250 lbs.) to have the surgery - that it should be reserved for people *****ALLY need it. That was really hard to take, especially at 9 days post-op. She didn't know that I am a disabled veteran with severe knee problems, or that I had a long list of other health problems, most related to the obesity. After a while, I finally convinced myself that she was jealous that I took action before I got so large, or my health reached a point of no return. Trust me, without this surgery, I would now be bigger than I was in June and my blood sugar would be out of control. I took action because it hurt me to not be able to really be a part of my kids' lives. I was tired of watching from the sidelines. Maybe because I had been thin and healthy when I was in my late teens and early twentys, (always had a weight issue, but managed to keep it under wraps for a few years) but I didn't see much value in the life I was living anymore. Not suicidal, just felt it was wasted and out of my control, my kids and hubby deserved better, etc. It's just that I think we all have to hit our own "rock bottom" before we can even consider something so drastic. I can't begin to imagine going on indefinitly with no hope - the 10 years of futility were enough to make sure I never out eat this procedure. I hope we can all respect that as much as we depend on each other through out this journey, it is an intensely personal one. We can help and support each other, and understand what we are going through better than anyone else. At the same time, we must each heal at our own pace and in our own way. It's not about who has overcome more or gone through the most pain, it should be about beating this demon and regaining control of our health. Back to the girl at that first meeting. 8 years after wls, she is anorexic with body dismorphic disorder. She is afraid of food (her words, not mine) and wants a full body lift that no plastic surgeon in the area will perform because of her other "issues". In my opinion, she is no healthier than she was before. I'm not sure that she is any happier. I hope that by using this mb, we are helping each other to see the bigger picture and to understand each others' pain while sharing and celebrating with one another. And to heal the very real scars we all have on the inside. Kristie

i can understand both sides of this issue. it is very hard to have lost over a hundred pounds and still be obese. to be at the weight many other people just started at. some people can take your own criticisms of yourself (man i looked like a cow at 200 pounds) personally.. (well, if she looked like a cow at 200, i must look like a water buffalo at 300!) I don't take it personally. i think at 268 pounds i look fabulous. even though i weigh more than other people BEFORE they had their gastric bypass surgery. i don't think i look like a cow, no matter what anyone else says. please take into account the pain and self consciousness it seems like this person is feeling. it wasn't right of her to try and make anyone else feel badly about themselves, but obviously she is uncomfortable still and needs to work on self esteem issues. i would consider her ignorant. i would consider her in pain. just be patient with statements like that. people who are hurting say things sometimes that can be considered hurtful. but you are in control of your own reaction them. Holly

holly, you have a wonderful attitude about yourself, that is great! yes, i understand this person still needs to work on self esteem issues, she actually has yet to have surgery, so hopefully she will find some comfort when she begins her journey next month. i agree, she is not ignorant and i should not have worded it as such. BUT... "people who are hurting say things sometimes that can be considered hurtful." in the heat of the moment, when someone has said something I consider to be hurtful...i guess i am just as human and i can say things that may be considered hurtful to someone else.