I AM SO ANNOYED BY THIS...

not sure if this is allowed or not, but i am gonna go with the idea that it is. so i am following a post on the main board, and i happen to go look at the profile of one of the post-ers. in her profile is this: "Which reminds me: the women on this site who start out weighing 250 lbs or less need to stop calling themselves "huge" and making references to various large land and sea mammals when labeling their "before" pictures. If you think 250 is huge, sweetie, call me when you've gained another 300 lbs. if I weighed 250 lbs, I'd dance naked through the streets. Well maybe not. But I would be pretty damned happy about it, let me tell you." WHAT? grrrr, this really makes my blood boil! i was even going to email her and tell her what i think, but then i thought about and realized some people are just ignorant! hugs~mary jo

Hi MaryJo! Hello my friend! First of all, I want to say how much I enjoy your posts and I truely feel that this (June 2005) MB is the best.... as we are all "in the same boat" as far as timing, etc! I always look forward to hearing how you are doing.... I may not post often, but I am often here!! I appreciate your frustration and I am sorry that the post you quoted upset you so.... That person does not understand what it is like to be 250# and unhappy with ones body.... Similarly, you might not understand how it makes one feel to hear a weight that you desperately want to reach be referred to as "huge" or a "whale"... I personally cannot remember being 250#... since maybe grammer school. I will also be jumping in the streets if I make it to 250#... I do not think I am "ignorant" to also be "just a bit upset" when I hear people refer to that weight with those terms... Let's just all be a bit more understanding of how each other feels.... I do not want this to be a flaming thread.... just a thread to remind all of us to be more understanding! Take care, my friend!!! Please do not be upset at me too!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Sandy P

no way, would never be upset with you! just as i should not be bothered by what this person feels. maybe should be a little more understanding of how i might feel if i were in her shoes. i just feel as being a "lightweight", my feelings should not be swept under the rug, just because i had 100 lbs to lose versus 200 or 300 or whatever the case may be. we all qualified for this surgery and the number 1 reason we qualified is the same for everyone - because we are/were obese! i can appreciate what you are saying, for sure. i just don't think one persons' feeling are more justified than mine because of how much more they weight than me or how long they have been overweight, etc... i love ya sandy, i am glad you are doing well! we DO have the best board, all the junebugs! and i hope that i do not offend anyone by this post! hugsssssssssss

Thanks, Mary Jo!! Well said!! We all have the same battle to fight and each other's help here on the June board makes this battle quite a bit easier! I understand how you feel and I am sure everyone else does too! I promise I will be more sensitive to how "you lightweights" feel from now on!! (I am teasing, I hope you know!!) Have a great night!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Sandy P

silly girl! you have a great night as well! hugsssss

Mary Jo, I completely understand. It bothers me too. Whether it comes from someone with much more weight to lose or someone with no weight to lose. It bothers me because I feel attacked....which makes me feel defensive. It bothers me because a statement like that makes it seem like my health issues and my feelings are not valid or REAL. In reality, I know that my health issues and feelings are real....VERY real. It's just hurtful, that's all. It hurts me because I am not the type of person who would attack or belittle anyone else who is suffering....whether they appear to suffer more than I am or less. When I first read it, my blood began to boil. But the more I look at it, the more I realize that the author is hurting. Looks like he/she is hurting pretty badly. The lightweights didn't DO anything to him/her....and they are not the root of the problem for this person. It looks like this person (maybe for the moment that they typed this) felt like some of the lightweights didn't understand what HE or SHE was going through. How could we? How can any of us understand until we walk in each others shoes? That's why it hurts so much. Suffering is what brought all of us together and it's painful when any member of our family minimizes or makes light of our greatest struggles. You can't build a home without pieces of all sizes, shapes, and colors. We have a wonderful June board. Everyone here is so understanding of each other and we never attack or judge each other, no matter where we are in our journey. We are just in this together. Pam

i couldn't of worded it any better, pam! i feel the same way as far as being "attacked". true, we couldn't possibly know what that person is going thru at a much higher weight. but i am willing to bet that someone who started SMO wasn't happy or painfree when they were just 200, 250 or even 300 lbs. if it wasn't for this surgery, i could have very well ended up there myself! thanks for your words, pam. we DO have a wonderful june board. we are all very supportive of each other and care about each other's feelings. i will be here long after i reach "goal" (if i ever get there!) to support all my new friends! love to you all!

Wow, I am very impressed with my June buddies. Well said all of you and thank you for your caring and support. Nothing in my life has hurt me more than fat/self-esteem issues. I feel like someone is digging me out of a deep, dark grave where I am experiencing the beautiful, fresh light of day. Knowing that you all understand means so much to me. There is no room for judgement here. We have all been in pain and need each other. Good for all of you for your maturity, respect and love. Jo

you hit the nail on the head, jo! love ya!

Well, you know.... I am one of those people who has a before picture on my picturetrail account where I weigh 247 lbs and I labeled it with "beached whale". After seeing your post, Mary Jo, and reading what was in this woman's profile I think I might change it. I never thought to put myself in someone else's shoes who would just be happy to be that weight at all. But in someone's eyes who did start out at 250 or less, that IS huge to them. It was to me, it was how I felt. Tiff 247/173/125