D-I-V-O-R-C-E anyone?

Well, at exactly 3 months out from surgery, and about 75 pounds down total... It is happening. I am getting the big "D" Well- We decided this about a month ago, but I am just setting down enough to tell everyone now. It's a good thing though. Really. I don't know what it is about this surgery... Whether we just realize that we actually are attractive people, and there are other (nicer!) fish in the sea, or if our spouses just begin to treat us differently or even sabotage us... but either way, I am glad to be getting rid of mine. He had always treated me badly- made fun of my weight, and told me that I was embarassing to him. I just cried and took it. He was an awful person to me. Now- the new me is beginning to shine through. I have one ex-boyfriend calling me, and a new online "friend" who is a wonderful man, and even after seeing pics of me, and learning what my weight was, still says that I am a great person that he wants to get to know better! I am thinking he might get the chance in the near future... I went out with the girls last weekend, and who got asked to dance by 2 different guys that she'd never even met? Yes- It was Me!!!! That is not something that happens to ME. I know there is a future out there now. I no longer feel trapped in this crummy relationship. The only feeling more liberating than this divorce is the actual weight loss itself. I can honestly say that I have not been this happy - maybe ever. Of course, divorce is hard, but I know now that I will make it through. He now comes up to me and tries to hug me and be nice, and I think to myself... "Too late buddy!!!" He should have thought of that when he was telling me how embarassing I was. Loser. I KNOW other people have experienced this. I am NOT just being a rotten person here, leaving because I am thinner and I know there is a world out there for me. I tried many times to get him to counseling- and to make things change. I am leaving now- because of all of the torture and verbal abuse I have been through. I am leaving because life is too short to spend with someone who is mean, or doesn't really love you for who you are. Who can back me up on this? Anyone else this is happening to? Well, either way, even if my mother in law thinks I am the devil for following through with this, (too bad for her!) I am sure it is the right thing, and I FEEL GREAT!!! Stacy

ME. I never had a good marriage. We started ours few weeks after my surgery. My husband is dragging his feet on it but i want to live life not let it pass. IM going thru very simlar. EMAIL if u wish to talk [email protected] LISA

My 2 year relationship ended with my live-in boyfriend last week too. Someone posted the other day that as heavy people we seem to feel that we don't deserve anything better so we stay in bad relationships. As we lose weight we feel better about ourselves and start to realize that it's time to get out and that nobody should remain in a unhealthy relationship and nobody deserves to be treated badly. In my situation I will probably have to sell my house and completely start over. It's scary but I'm also looking forward to it. Good luck! Julie

I can relate to the house issue. BEEN a fighting point here.... if i sell the house and split the profit i guess i become homeless. I wont be able to buy a new one at the todays values.... then it also puts my work out of business being in my home the downstairs is my daycare center...so hard!!! SO many issues pretty scary i suppose thats why i drag my feet some but i know this is best too, wish i could convince my hubby that. ONE minute he is then he isnt. SUCH a big mess LISA

Oh Lisa I feel so bad for you being that your home is also your place of business! I am able to get out and at least stay with my family for a while until I can save up enough to get a place on my own. We have to sell the house. I also feel like he is dragging on that. No one wants to be alone and lose everything like this, but I am sure it is better for us than staying with the people we are with! I am sad that you have to go through this too- but very happy to know that I am not the only one. I think the statement is true that we stay in hurtful relationships because we are afraid that this is all there is for us- I am sure that this is what happened in my case at least. I know I will be strong enough to move on and find someone who appreciates me for who I am. (Thank goodness for therapy!) The other scary thing is fighting over custody, and losing my insurance, which is all through his work. I make WAY less money than he does, so this is taking a lot of strength- the future is scary. Where will I go? Wherever it is, I just have to remember that it will probably be a happier place than where I am at now. Good luck and much strength- Stacy

Thanks stacy i so know i need to have mine ended fully. IF it were me it would have been done but he is dragging. MY sadder note is i have no living parents now and really have no one to turn towards. I am certain 100 percent I would win custody and be awarded that for sure of the kids. SO hard, yes im scared to death of all the uncertainity. THANKS for the great post to me on the topic cause i am scared to death. I have 3 small kids ages 2, 8 and 11. SO its alot. THANKS LISA

Stacy, Hang in there. I was in a bad relationship years ago and stayed because it was comfortable, familiar, ect. When I finally did leave, it was difficult at first, but soooo much better in the long run. I am much happier and free from the unhealthy strings, if you can relate to that. I am still single although I date occasionally. I would not change leaving him. I wish you and Lisa all the strength in the world. And believe it or not, we can make a wonderful life for ourselves and our kids without the men being in the same home. Keep your heads up ladies. Laura