Next Week! Can I make it?

Hey everyone! While working today I looked at the calendar and it hit me....my surgery is next week! I have known all month when the surgery was scheduled. But I mean, it HIT me today like a ton of bricks. I have been very excited (and still am). But of course like all others on here, the what-ifs are flooding in. I am a 29 year old single mother of a terrific 9 year old boy. It has been just the two of us for most of his life. I am having the surgery done while he is gone to his dad's for the first 2 weeks of his summer visitation. So 4 days from now I will watch him walk away from me and I will have to think about the slight possibility of never seeing him again for 5 days until I wake up from surgery. Every time that wave of fear comes across me, I try to make it go away by thinking about all the people who go through this with no complications. To top all this, my father has recently been diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. He is stable right now...but living day to day. Other than my son, my father has got to be the other person I am closest to. I have been going to stay with him every single weekend for about 3 or 4 months now. He lives 2 hours away. So in one way my mind has been very occupied. But my emotions have been in so many million directions. I do not have anyone to really help me out after the surgery. I was lucky to have a friend decide to take off work to take me to the hospital. I was planning on driving myself and then calling someone to come get me when I checked out. So when I get home, I will be completely on my own. The people on here have been so great! I come here to read everyone else's story and feelings to know that I am not alone! Good luck to everyone. I have realized that even though we may not know each other personally....we still have a common bond that is really great. (OK...I do sound really emotional don't I?) Sorry! I can't wait to be on the other side! Thanks for listening, Christina

I had to stop reading. You have me getting teary at work. I am a single mom of an 8 year old so I understand. Stay positive it will be all worth it in the end (so I'm told).

Christina, I have had the same worries. My surgery is in 2 weeks. You just have to think positive and have faith that God will get you through this. When I think about something bad happening to me it scares me to death. I just know that we'll both do great. We will be able to do things with our kids that obese people can't do. I'm so sorry that you don't have anyone close by that can help you. I will be praying for you. Tabetha

Thanks to both of you for the reply! It is the fact that I know there is all of you out there that keeps me going. We are all going through the same things. I am not going to let the what-ifs keep me for doing this for myself and for my son. I have always felt that my weight is the only thing that holds me back from doing anything I want. Well I am ready to do what is necessary to over come this. I always have said that I would like to take my son here.....or take him to do this....etc. Well, I am ready to feel comfortable enough with myself to get out and live life like he and I both deserve! Good luck to all of you! Let's keep in touch so we can discuss everything after surgery! I am sooo ready to not feel overweight! Thanks again, Christina

Christina, I can soooo relate to what you are going through, I am also a single mother and my daughter is 8, My date is set for June 9th and I have to tell you that I have had the what if's really bad with in the last two weeks. I have talked with my MFT and also been reading alot, as well as going to support grp, I have to say it has been helping, you are my age and we are at a good time in our lives to do the right thing for OURSELVES... instead of evrybody else first, ya know??? God will take care of us both, have faith and know that you are not alone, I am hear with you.... I would really like to know how everything goes for you so let me know, I am not to far behind you... We are to important for God to let anything happen to us, he knows our children need us, just like we needed them.... You can email me if you would like.

Dear Christina, I like you am a mother of two beautiful girls (granted I am not a single mother, but a mother none the less) and I know exactly how you feel. I have been worrying about the possiblities of having really bad complications or possibly dying. I have thought about the day I have to wave good-bye to my daughters and give them hugs and kisses and tell them I love them and worry if that is going to be the last time they will see me ever again. The thought alone has made me have a few break downs. But since my very last break down which was about a week ago I have come to these conclusions. 1. If it is God's will to take me during surgery or after surgery then so be it. Who am I to argue? It was my time to go as my work here on earth has been fullfilled. If I wasn't meant to go that way I would die another way. That may be morbid to many but that is how I have to get through this. 2. I look at all the success stories and think of all the mothers out here who have had the surgery and have made it just fine. My thinking is "if God didn't take them from their babies then I should be just fine". May not be the best logical thinking out there but it works for me. 3. Last but not least, most importantly, I have recently come up with exactly this thought and wow it is really working wonders. Here is my conclusion about the surgery. God and I have a great understanding. I understand God's will, God's way. God understands my determination to live for my daughters (as well as for myself and my husband). But my determination lies with my two daughters. God understands that I feel and know that there is no one else better to raise my daughters then myself. God understands that my determination is to wake up from surgery and every day after ready to fight for my healing process. God understands my determination to live my second chance at life to the fullest and to live it the way I was meant to live it the first time around. Though it is easier said than done you have to put it all in the hands of God. I have done exactly that but I have also taken the worries and fears back only to be hit with them ten times harder. It's to much stress and toll on your body and you have, have, have to keep the faith. There are no ands, if's, or but's about it. Everyday we get into a car we take that risk of the possiblity of getting into a car crash. Every day we walk out of our homes we take that risk of something happening. Every night we go to bed we never know if that will be the last time. We have no control over that and to only worry about it takes another hour of your time left on this earth. Give the worries and fear to God please. Trust in Him and pray and believe. You have to for you and for your sweet, sweet, sweet son. What your feeling is normal and I don't know a person who wasn't scared whether it was a little or a lot. It's okay. If there is nothing you remember about what I have said in the above at least remember this saying "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it". Yes it's going to be a tough road ahead once the surgery is done but you will fight that battle and in a year you will remember everything you were feeling then. And th

I couldn't finish the rest of my post! Sorry. But I wanted to end my original reply to you by saying as mothers and as human beings we all have the right to be very scared and that is okay. Allow yourself to really feel what your feeling and then release that feeling and do your best to keep the faith and think positive thoughts. God will be there with you in surgery and will guide the hands of your surgeon. You will be just fine and your precious little boy will have his mother back with him. And together, just the two of you as it was before, will be living a whole new different life for the better. You have many things to still share with your son and to teach your son and he has many things to learn from you. May God be with you and your son and God bless you sweetie. We are all here for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers from this day forward. I can't wait to see you on the losing side and look forward to your amazing stories of weight loss. Regina

Christina, You are feeling all the same things that just about everyone goes through, at some point or another, in this process. Believe me, I have heard about it before on other message boards, and I have experienced it myself. In fact, I have been working hard to keep my emotions in check today! One week from today, at this moment, I will be in surgery, so I am going a little batty. I am sorry to hear that you do not have much in the way of familial support during this time. Is there any close friend who can come check on you at your home after you are released from the hospital? If you go to church, perhaps a clergy member or fellow church member can come by? I hope all goes well with your surgery. I know everyone says "you'll be fine", but the reality is there are things that can go seriously wrong. The trick is, I guess (because I am still struggling with it myself), to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, just in case. Make sure you have your will and advance health care directive in place, and that you have distributed copies to more than one trustworthy person; I just finished preparing those things today. I will get them notarized so there is no question about my health care wishes and, worst case scenario, my wishes in case of my death. It never hurts to be prepared, though, so you can be certain that your son is cared for. Make sure to specify that any life insurance or other liquid assets are put into a trust for your son, so it doesn't end up directly in the hands of your son's father. I don't know anything about your son's father, but it is better to be safe to set aside that money for your son in a trust, as opposed to giving it directly to his father. That way, you are sure your son will get the inheritance, not your ex. On the bright side, remember that thousands and thousands of people go through this surgery with no major complications. I don't know about you, but I had about a dozen pre-op tests and they all came out fine and the doctors I have consulted with feel that I am a good, reasonably healthy, candidate for this surgery. Good luck and we'll be on the losing side soon!!!! - Beth