Updates~ the good, bad, and ugly!

Hello all my Junebug friends~ Go**** has been waaaaay too long for us to not have kept in touch! I just celebrated, like you all, my 3 year anniversary on the 23rd. So here's the scoop... The good~ I have continued to get in my protein drink on a daily basis. I do need to go have my bloodwork done to make sure that everything is still fine, but as of last year, all tests were excellent. I still haven't had any huge complications from my surgery. I'm still walking, although not quite as much as I used to. I keep trying to focus on my blessings. The bad~ I have gained almost 30 lbs. back of my weight. Go**** kills me to say that!!! I bottomed out at 164, and am now weighing about 190-193. Ughhhh!!!! Grazing and sugar is still such an issue for me! My exercise has gone down, partly my fault, partly not having people to do the things that I love to do that take partners (ie- racquetball, volleyball, etc!). It's been a very complicated year in my personal life and I have fallen back into some of the bad habits that we've all discussed. The ugly~ After 3 years of burning off, biopsies, misdiagnoses, and mistreatment, I was finally definitively diagnosed (during surgery) with skin cancer. Basal cell/ squamous cell carcinoma to be exact. What should have been a very minor procedure became very involved and complicated. As a result, I lost all of the skin on half of my nose, was off of school for 2 1/2 weeks ****il school got out), and just today had to have my nose restitched (4 weeks after surgery) because the incision had split open~ despite everything I've done to try and protect myself. I had 3 tumors that were extremely aggressive, and would have lost the tip of my nose if I had waited until school got out. They had to biopsy the skin 3 times, taking more each time, until they had clear borders, and scrape the cartilidge to ensure depth. My nose is disfigured, and may or may not be able to be repaired without having to have the traditional "nose job". The silver lining~ Even though I've gained some back, I'm not at 332lbs. I can exercise~ even though I'm having to get up at 4:30 am to be able to walk outside before the sun comes up. I'm stronger than I have ever been~ mentally and physically, even though I'm not in as good of shape as I was last summer, that's okay. I'm a survivor~ now a cancer survivor on top of everything else. I choose not to focus on the negative, because that just leads to anger. God is using my situation to have a ministry to others. Yes, I do feel like the walking billboard of "Don't let this happen to you!" But, I sure have a whole lot more sympathy for people who have had a physical deformity and disability in a way that I could never have had before. I've discussed creating a non-profit business to go and decorate homes at holiday times for women who are suffering from cancer. Who knows what can come from a really negative situation~ that idea stemmed from my dad being diagnosed (after being misdianosed twice) with lymphoma a year ago. Finally~ the life lesson... If any of you ever have a spot on your face or body that doesn't heal completely, GO HAVE IT CHECKED OUT!!!!! DON'T IGNORE IT!!! I tried to be proactive and this still happened to me! Don't be lulled into a false sense of security when a biopsy comes back as precancerous. Guess what~ according to my new surgeon (not the one who did the first two biopsies), almost all wounds on your face that don't heal correctly, or come back precancerous, turn into cancer. Watch and see only postpones, and allows to grow, what could be a super simple procedure, producing lots more damage. And, ask for second opinions! What are the chances of both my dad and I being misdiagnosed with cancer within the same year? Kinda scary!! So many of us are struggling with old habits, but we can do this!! We are not where we were 3 years ago and we are not who we were 3 years ago! Hang in there!!! The glass is definitely half full~ maybe it's even overflowing!! Blessings to you all, Kerri

My dear Kerri. I didn't realize that you've had a difficult year. You've got a great winning attitude and no doubt you will succeed in getting the regain off. I am sorry about the skin cancer. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I guess I should count my blessings! I hope that your skin cancer is gone for good. I'll keep you in my prayers. Hugs, Lucy

Hi Lucy~ I hope it's gone for good as well!! How are you feeling? Did you have the fill yet on your lap band? Take care,Kerri

Hi Kerri. I had my fill about a week ago. I don't notice anything yet. He put in 3 cc. I got another appointment for July 28th for my second fill. I realized this weekend that I've put on this weight as a shell to protect me from the hurting I was feeling as I was dating last year. I know that is not the answer and now have to work on eliminating that shell of protection forever. Lucy

Kerri, YOu have been through alot. I am glad you are doing better. I have stayed away from the boards for a while. I just started coming back. I am stuggling with regain my self. i have gained about 30-35 lbs in the past year Depending on the day. What a frustrating thing. I really thought I had beaten the addiction. Boy was I wrong. But I am trying to get it back in control. I am contemplating doing the 5dpt. I just cant seem to work up the courage. Thanks for the reminder about checking on our skin issues. I am really fair skinned and when I grew up there was no such thing as sun screen so it is a good reminder to be careful. I know it may sound bad but I am glad to come back here and see that I am not the only one struggling. Somehow I feel not so alone. I kinda ignored my surgiversary this year. Due to the feelings of failure and all. But I am hoping year four will be better then year 3. Great to hear from you and I hope you have an awesome summer. Lynn

Gosh Lynn~ So many of us are going through exactly the same thing!!! I know my major problem is grazing/eating late at night. Summer just seems to exacerbate it since my body kind of switches to it's own timeclock~ staying up really late, and waking up late. Just know that you are NOT a failure!!! The very fact that we aren't where we started makes us a success. Not to mention, we have done some races that we would never have been able to complete before. You up for another 5k soon? I can't do any walking right now because they just put stitches back into my nose because my incision had split open. But, as soon as they take them out, I'm back to walking again. Feel up for the challenge? No matter what you decide~ 5dpt, doing another race, whatever, you are a success! Many surgeon's tell patients to expect a 10-15% "bounce back" on their weight. I didn't think that would ever be me, but...alas. I'm still going to try to get at least some of it off by the time I go back to school in the fall. Take care and let me know if there's anything I can do to be of a support. Hugs, Kerri

Kerri you have been on my mind lately. So glad to see this post and what an amazing attitude you have. i hope that things are going positively for you presently and you will be in my prayers. Monica