Hi Everybody!!!! Article on Regaining

Hello all!! Haven't written in quite a while. Need to get back to old habits and start reading this at least once a week. Happy anniversary to everyone. Hope you are all still doing well. I have gained a little. 11 pounds and now working to get it off before it becomes 20. I still wear the same size but the weight still needs to come off and it will!! I am determined not to go back where I was! Anyway I found this article and thought ya'll might like to read it. Best Wishes to you all, Deloris REGAIN: Part 1: (SETTING THE STAGE) You dreamed this would be the last time you would need to lose weight. Weight loss surgery was the answer to your weight loss failures of the past. You were doing so well. Weight seemed to fly off so to speak in the beginning, almost effortless. No matter what you did you couldn't possibly take in enough to not lose weight. For many this was the first time in your life you didn't experience physical hunger. You felt full on so little. You were limited in the variety of foods you could have. Sugar, fats or large portions made you sick. If you didn't chew well enough, or slow down to eat or if you drank with our food you got sick. Dumping syndrome, although not an intentional part of weight loss surgery works as a strong behavior modifier. Who wants to experience nausea, vomiting, sweating, chest pain, palpitations, diarrhea, fatigue, and lethargy and have to lie down for one cookie? But over time your motivation wore off. Fast forward a year or two, you heard the window slam shut, the golden period tarnish and well quite frankly the honeymoon is over. This is normal & expected but you still are surprised & horrified! Denial works for a while but after the ` 10-20 pound bounce back weight' hits you decide you can no longer live in denial. Your clothes don't fit and you are scared to death. Many think their pouches have stretched. In reality it could possibly be a mechanical problem, but most likely it is the honeymoon period ending. You are then faced with the questions, "Did I use my time wisely?" & "Did I make the lifestyle changes needed to be successful long-term"? If you answered yes to both of these questions then congratulations & do not read any further. But if you can't answer yes to these questions and you find yourself OFF-TRACK, keep reading! You remember hearing about it months ago, bariatric professionals educate regarding its existence & significance; it has many names, `Window of opportunity' , `Golden period' & `Honeymoon phase'. Did you really believe, understand and utilize it? Or did you think that weight loss surgery was magic and you were invincible? The first 12-24 months after weight loss surgery is a time of change, growth and rebirth for many. It is the beginning of a wonderful journey. It affords us to experience life unchained by Morbid Obesity and all its limits & complications. You have heard this mantra before a thousand times, weight loss surgery is only a tool and they operate on your stomach not your brain! What you sometimes forget is it isn't the end of your food issues. You are not alone! Do not allow yourself to be alone! It is in isolation that you continue to struggle and stay off-track. Your surgery hasn't failed; you are just not using your tool to its potential that is all. It is there still; you need to get back to basics though. And yes this means you now have to work harder than the tool! Remember it isn't the surgery alone that makes us lose weight it is the lifelong lifestyle & behavioral changes you make that enable us to lose weight and keep it off. It is the tool that gives us the opportunity to make these changes. It levels the playing field for weight loss and maintenance with those who are not Morbidly Obese! In this delicate time many things happen: dumping may decrease or stop, you are able to eat a larger variety of foods, you can eat larger quantities of food, you get over the newness of surgery and may let some habits slide, the malabsorbtion may decrease as the body tries to normalize! Basically life happens. PART 2: (Points to ponder, consider, reflect on....MY OPINION & VIEWS....) Why is it that the things we KNEW DIDN'T WORK, TRIED AND FAILED US AYWAYS pre WLS after WLS we consider trying again? *As if they will magically work now because we have less gut to absorb or a tinier tummy? QUICK FIXES, `MAGIC' PILLS, FAD DIETS.....They didn't work pre-wls and they don't work post WLS, we know it but that nasty old defense called denial ropes us in to beat ourselves up over and over trying yet again, this time maybe. We stay stuck in our shame and remain victims. We know surgery helps control the quantity of food consumed; most of us are still plagued by the same eating demons that caused us to gain weight in the first place. But why is it now we believe that having WLS makes us immune to those issues? Surely the magic of the honeymoon cannot be all that powerful can it? Why do many of us still believe the falsity that thin=happy or thin/wt loss=resolution of all issues? Do we still need to have the hope that being thin will take away all our ills so therefore when we get thinner and it doesn't happen we subconsciously sabotage ourselves so we can revive that false belief and have hope once again, after all one thing we do have control over is whether we diet or not! Even if we can not control anything else in our lives such as occupation, relational stressors We have read the studies pre and postop such as; In one study, 80% of patients reported that they regularly felt a loss of control over eating just six months after surgery. Several studies show that beginning two years after surgery, many patients begin to regain at least some of their weight. Why did we think this wouldn't be us, that we'd be different? How does our shame at being one of those keep us stuck here in the past and hoping about the future only to allow our present to slip by and our life and chances to change. Why is it that we cannot see the destructive patterns? Or why is we we'd rather focus on a magic and quick cure such as a surgical redo or another diet or another pill when it is clear if we only choose to look and accept it that our lifestyle is what needs to change... *usually* I am talking about things like: · NOT exercising the way we did, or ever, or making this a part of our LIFESTYLE consistently... . · Drinking caloried beverages, the lattés the coffees sweetened with cream and even sugar at times. · Skipping out on plain old water they way we used to drink it or if we didn't ever incorporate it.... · GRAZING, eating when not hungry but simply because we can, small nibbles, taste, licks, bites here and there.... · Nighttime binges, endless noshing on food that is not driven by physical hunger but out of emotional causes, deprivation because we dieted all day, or neglected our needs nutritionally, eating to fill up what is missing in our lives. · Drinking with food, starting with a sip here and there and now full gulps and cups with food, why is it we wonder we don't get full or can eat a lot more than we used to? · Neglecting ourselves to take care of everyone and everything but ourselves, seeing ourselves as not needing or worthy of care, remaining in the victim role actually selfish because we are helping others our of our need not theirs. · Deciding that today I cannot do it (diet, exercise or whatever) perfectly so I will restart tomorrow, next Monday or next month. Falling into the old negative self-talk tapes that kept us chained to our old disease Morbid Obesity. Why do we all want to have the emotional bypass? Simply because we do not want to feel the pain, that is why denial is used, that is why the hope of a magic diet or pill is thought of, anything to deny the truth, the reality or the Here AND NOW yes we can be present in the now and still be in pain and still move forward. It is hard work but looking at the issues and wanting to deal with them is the first step! Be proud of yourself for that and you can do it. What purpose is food serving for you? Do you need to hold on to old unhealthy habits of numbing your emotions with food or can you develop new, healthier habits to deal with stress? Today is a great time to start, not to change everything but to change one thing. Stop the excuses! If you wait you may have another 20 pounds to work on. Holidays and parties are always going to happen, you can always find an excuse to wait or a reason why you can't. Its difficult but search within yourself and find a reason why you can and do it. Remember why you started this journey and what you told yourself not so long ago! The power of positive thinking is yours! Think progress not perfection! You are worth it! Perfection redefined is who we are today at this moment so we can break free from the toxic shame and victim roles to truly heal ourselves from the inside out! Why can we not just start with reality, writing what we are eating in black and white, I bet because then the truth is we need to change. Why do we avoid journaling our emotions? Meditating and getting centered? I bet because we fear the pain we may be avoiding, but in avoidance comes more pain it just shows outwardly. It easier sometimes to have the hope that we can control our diet and in so will control the emotions/relationsh ips we struggle with. Life is one lesson and opportunity after another, until we learn one lesson we will have it show up over and over in our lives. I think it may be time to learn the lesson that life is hard, food is easy and that we have little control. I think it is time to give up the fairytale ending "happily ever after'. Life is about perception, denial keeps us from reality, denial keeps us from change, it keeps us from growth, it keeps us from happiness and joy and peace and prosperity. ***I do want to note there are broken surgeries or wrong surgeries performed, but typically it is not using the tool or defeating the tool or our emotional issues that are the factor to consider. But first I ask we be honest with ourselves, take a look at our lifestyle, see where it may of changed from 1 yr out, see are we still exercising to the capacity we used to, are we still eating the minimal calories we once used to, are we still adhering as strictly to the pouch rules as we used to? OR are we perhaps cheating a little here and there and stuffing our emotions. Are we perhaps ashamed to go to our support groups, surgeons or health care providers to weigh in on the scale for a reality check and ask for support. I know I eat more than the 1,000 calories a day I used to, I know I exercise less than the compulsive 10 hr a week I used to, I know I am not as rigid with my Pouch rules as I once was it is little wonder then that I have regained weight? IS it the tools fault? No, is it my fault? Well I am not here to judge others or myself anymore; that simply isn't helpful. I am here to be accountable and responsible to myself. I am here to make choices about my lifestyle; I am here to address my emotional issues from childhood that may no longer serve me well as denial no longer serves me well. I can see they were powerful defenses I needed once but I need no more. I am freeing myself of the bondage that the need to control requires me to be bound by and am working on living HERE AND NOW and redefining myself as perfect today as I am. I am choosing to let go, trust, have faith in a power greater than myself, I am where I need to be at this moment. No emotion is too much for me to handle now. I am enough; I am more than a number on the scale. We all know what to do, it means changing our lifestyle now and forever, it means one minute at a time, it means change, it means pain, it means challenges. It also means hope and abundance and prosperity if we choose it and happiness along the way! Together we can do it because we are all perfect right now. Another surgery may give us a 2nd honeymoon but in a years time we'd be right where we are today I believe with the same lesson to learn. Off my soapbox........................Take a look inside, be still, and quiet what do you hear? What are you truly hungry for? I bet it isn't food! Address this hunger and many things will be clear

Delores, Thank you for this article, I am going to copy it to my profile so I can read it when I need a reminder! I have been struggling with getting myself on a lifestyle change and not just an up and down to stay at my goal weight. I have gained 2-3 lbs here and there and it scares me. I am going to do the "time out" diet that the graduate board is all talking about to see if I can reset my dump meter. I need to do this for myself, as I love the carbs. I am also hoping it will get me thinking about what I put in my mouth on a regular basis. Good to hear from you. Wendy

That is great!!! Dr. Warnock that did my surgery told us about this plan and I do it from time to time. That is what I am doing now. Just getting back to what I ate in the beginning. I have lost 3 pounds since I began it and only have 8 to go to be at my goal again. I need to live by the scale again, slacked off and went months without weighing and it told on me I will blame it on a cruise, family reunion and 2 other vacations this year. LOL I have to face the fact I will be on a plan for the rest of my life or until I get so old I don't care anymore. LOL NOT!!!! Good luck and you look great!!! Myra

Great article. I really enjoyed it. Lynn

Hi Deloris~ Good to hear from you. I appreciate the artilcle. I think we are all really struggling with the "bounceback" weight. I know I've gained 8-10 bls. back from my lowest weight. Actually, I just had my 2 year follow up with my surgeon. He is happy with my loss and wants me to just maintain. But, I'm not satisfied. I'm not at my "ideal" boday weight~ about 20 lbs. from it. Don't know if I'll get there before PS or not, but I'm hopeful. Keep checking back~ I sure would love for this board to be revived!! This is when we need each other the most! Hugs, Kerri