Still trying.....

I'm still trying. I did okay yesterday. I went to the grocery store and got some stuff that will *hopefully* help me through. I've just got to figure out a routine. A routine that I can feasably DO with the kind of schedule I have and the kind of personality I have AND is appropriate for a gastric bypass patient. "I am a gastric bypass patient and I need to behave like one" "This isn't just a phase - it's forever" "These dietary requirements are NOT optional. They are necessary for survival and to avoid complications, including death." These are the things I am reminding myself of as I try to get straight. So yesterday, i had: Venti quad decaf SF vanilla latte a one egg cheese omlet (then I got the shakes real bad because they didn't make my latte a DECAF! Then I got the headache...) So I ate about 6 crackers with cream cheese and sat down until I stopped shaking. And took a tylenol rapid release gel. (went grocery shopping) Ate a banana while loading up the car. 5 shrimp, 5 little cubes of steak, and about 1/2 cup of veggies (zucchini, onions, mushrooms) a low carb yogurt a SF jello We did the coolest thing last night on the grill. Hubby had a friend make us a stainless steel plate to cook on. So we cooked dinner on the grill just like they do in the Japanese Steak houses. It was soooooooo good! I bought some healthy things to help me stay on track at the grocery store. I got roast beef, tavern ham, provolone and lettuce for me to make some more wraps. I got a couple of different kinds of low-carb yogurts, lots of SF jello, cheese sticks, bananas, chicken, ground turkey, ricotta cheese...and now I can't remember....oh, I got some whole wheat mini-pita's. And some decaf flavored coffee.... mmmmm Vanilla nut... got some SF puddings.... Anyway.... that's how it's going right now. I'm not getting back on the scale yet. I want to give this a week and see what happens. And I gotta say, when I was at the grocery store i wanted to get chocolate SOOOOOO bad. I skipped the candy isle all together. When i got in the check-out - those candy bars were SCREAMING at me....I almost reached for one...almost. BUT I didn't do it!!! I told myself "Self, you are a gastric bypass patient. Forget the candy - have a banana when you get outside." And that's what I did! I felt so victorious!!! How's everyone else coping right now? Hugs, Pam

Hi Pam, I wanted to reply to you yesterday when I read your original post but I didnt have time. I just wanted to say that that could have been written by me. I have been stuggling so bad lately. My eating has been waaaaay out of control. Not so much in the amounts that I eat but I havent made good choices and the grazing is really bad. I havent put on any weight yet. I weigh myself compulsivly. But I am really scared because this is just like before surgery. I feel like I am out of control. Well, I guess this is where the real work begins. I wish that there was something that you could do to just wake up one day and have a normal relationship with food. I know that I wont let myself gain weight back to my presurgery weight, but it is like part of me is just seeing how far I can pu**** before I gain. Its like seeing how close you can come to the cliff before you fall over the edge. This is a bad time of year to be struggling with these issues. I wish that I had never strayed off the no sugar path. Because that is what is haunting me now is the sugar. I am going on vacation soon. Hubby and I are celebrating our 25th by going to Vegas. I hate to wait till I come home to work on this issue but it almost seems pointless to work on it while I am on vacation. Boy is that a cop-out. Maybe I can get it under control somewhat before I go so that the damage isnt quite as bad. Well, I am proud of you for trying to work on it and thank you for giving a voice to something I have been struggling with and was feeling to ashamed to write about. May we all battle the food demons and win the battle. Love Lynn

Yep, I did a little better yesterday, but not much. I started out good with the protein and some hot tea and water, then went with my hubby to his aunts and on the way had 2 1/2 chicken nuggets and an apple pie from Mickey D's. then ate at a restaurant for dinner and had lemon rice soup and fried chicken and rice about 3 oz of chicken and a few bites of the rice, but it was smothered in gravy! crackers and bread with butter on it. So when I came home I ate two church windows!!! (mini marshmallows with chocolate all over it) I was sick afterward and knew I would be, so why do I do it! Then I ate pretzels and cheese and threw up cause pretzels always make me sick! I was ok in the am, but the pm is where it all falls apart for me! Ugghh! Today I will say the mantra Pam "I am a gastric patient and will behave like one!" Keep posting. I need it. Wendy